Noisy Kids in public places? - Page 4

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/30/2014 golfcartrider said:
On 9/30/2014 chziggy said:
On 9/30/2014 NYwoman said:
I will never understand places that restrict dogs yet allow boisterous, undisciplined children screamed, crying, running around, yelling at their parents.

ITA

I live in a very hot and humid area, I was in a department store one day and a couple had their dog with them. I asked if anyone had said anything to them and I loved his reply. He said IF anyone says anything thing he would ask "Would you rather I leave her in the hot car while I shop in your store?"

I know this gets away from the unruly children but I wanted to share this.

I don't find his reply all that compelling... Mine to him might well have been to ask why leaving the dog at home wasn't an option... Still, I'd rather have the dog than be subjected to what appears to be the behavior of most kids these days.

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

mamaglam · ‎05-10-2013

OMG, it's nice to know i'm not alone in my intolerance for unruly kids. I have one daughter, and she knew to behave herself when we went out b/c there would be consquences if she didn't. Usually losing a priviledge or not being able to do something with her friends. Now she has two little girls and she is also teaching her girls to be polite and well-mannered and to behave in public. It takes alot of work to raise children and some parents are just too lazy to put in the time. What a shame b/c the children are the losers, and what a sad commentary of our society.

Calgal2too · ‎03-09-2010

Unruly children and do-nothing parents are, or, at least, should be, unacceptable.

I agree with a lot of posters who place the blame squarely on the parents. Unless there is some kind of medical issue, all of this behavior is LEARNED. Kids test and push limits, and if there are no consequences, or, worse yet, if this behavior is REWARDED (controlling a tantrum by buying a child a toy, for instance), then why wouldn't you (as a child) behave badly? It's certainly more fun than sitting quietly and respecting others.

Whenever I encounter a respectful and polite child, I always make it a point to praise them, and comment to their parent(s) what a wonderful job they are doing. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen often.

The older I get, the less patience I have, and the less I will put up with. I have been known to approach parent(s) in public places and say, quietly as I don't want to embarrass them (at least, not at first) words to the affect, "I can see how you would think that your experience here is more more important than everybody else's, but I'm here to tell you that it's not. Please do something about this behavior, or I will do my best to have all of you evicted."

Sometimes this elicits a good response, sometimes it does not. I have been yelled and sworn at. At that point, I will seek out a manager and insist that they make it right, whether that means evicting the offending party or moving my party (while this solution can be inconvenient, it is usually accompanied by a comped meal or two). I have also had other patrons cheer for me.

The only time I am very reluctant to use this approach is on an airplane. Obviously, we are all a captive audience in that situation, and unless an older child's behavior could create an unsafe situation (in which case, I rely on the flight attendants to do their jobs), there's not a whole lot you can do. I will ask a parent, or the child if they're old enough, to stop kicking my seat, playing peek-a-boo, shouting, etc.

It always amuses me that 99% of the parents who chime in on these types of discussions have absolute ANGELS for kid and grandkids.

I know I sound like a shrew to some of you. I'm not parent, by choice, and while your children are, as they should be, special to you, please remember that the rest of the world is not their adoring public.

Julie from NY · ‎08-15-2010

I have 2 young boys, 7 & 10 and they bring their ipads to dinner which keeps them entertained and quiet. And we take them to family friendly restaurants as well and decent dinner hours. I agree many parents fail to teach their children appropriate behaviors in public but I've noticed plenty of groups of adult woman who are very loud, boisterous and irritating while I'm trying to enjoy a mean with my family. You can't always blame everything on children.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/29/2014 MotivatedMomma said:
While I believe that children need to learn respect and correct behaviors when out in public, I also work with special needs children and I've learned to temper my thoughts, actions and opinions when around children who are acting up. You have no idea what the actual situation is for this particular child nor what the parent(s) are going through at the time. While I believe that parents have a responsibility to teach their children appropriate behaviors, before you judge make sure you feel confident that you know the family's situation before throwing accusations out there.

I understand your caution to those of us who prefer not to have poorly behaved children impinge upon us when out in public, but can't fully agree. Most all of us have some cross to bear, and that still doesn't negate the need for us to accommodate, as best we can, to our immediate environment. While I might well have sympathy for any given family's 'situation', chances are there are alternatives to inflicting their situation on those who might well be dealing with their own situations that make encounters with unruly children more than the usual challenge.

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

BabyYoda · ‎03-09-2010

It really is becoming the new norm. Last weekend my DH surprised me for our anniversary at a very elegant fancy restaurant and he made the dinner reservation for 9 pm. The hostess tried to sit us next to this family with screaming children. I told the waitress no way and to sit us in the back. She did. No one told the children anything. The kids ran around, dropped food, screamed and screamed. It was after 9 pm and these parents had their little ones up so late. We wound up just having one glass of wine as we were so upset and I told the waitress we cannot enjoy an elegant meal with the noise. She told us the wine was no cost to us because of the noise. We left and went somewhere else.

wvumountiefan · ‎09-12-2013

On 9/29/2014 MotivatedMomma said:
While I believe that children need to learn respect and correct behaviors when out in public, I also work with special needs children and I've learned to temper my thoughts, actions and opinions when around children who are acting up. You have no idea what the actual situation is for this particular child nor what the parent(s) are going through at the time. While I believe that parents have a responsibility to teach their children appropriate behaviors, before you judge make sure you feel confident that you know the family's situation before throwing accusations out there.

Nope not agreeing with this post!! I also have and still work with special needs children and it makes me furious when we label them and then act like that's a free pass to misbehave!! Those children with Autism, adhd or whatever can still learn and by that I mean learn rules and how to behave. It will never be acceptable to me to wonder what the family situation is to okay a child acting like a brat when out in public. I think if a child is acting out in public that can pretty well tell you their how their home life is!!!! The bottom line is there is NO accountability for parents these days. The parents think it's the school system job to raise their child!! Irritates the begeebies out of me!!

BabyYoda · ‎03-09-2010

On 9/30/2014 Trevoli said:
Unruly children and do-nothing parents are, or, at least, should be, unacceptable.

I agree with a lot of posters who place the blame squarely on the parents. Unless there is some kind of medical issue, all of this behavior is LEARNED. Kids test and push limits, and if there are no consequences, or, worse yet, if this behavior is REWARDED (controlling a tantrum by buying a child a toy, for instance), then why wouldn't you (as a child) behave badly? It's certainly more fun than sitting quietly and respecting others.

Whenever I encounter a respectful and polite child, I always make it a point to praise them, and comment to their parent(s) what a wonderful job they are doing. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen often.

The older I get, the less patience I have, and the less I will put up with. I have been known to approach parent(s) in public places and say, quietly as I don't want to embarrass them (at least, not at first) words to the affect, "I can see how you would think that your experience here is more more important than everybody else's, but I'm here to tell you that it's not. Please do something about this behavior, or I will do my best to have all of you evicted."

Sometimes this elicits a good response, sometimes it does not. I have been yelled and sworn at. At that point, I will seek out a manager and insist that they make it right, whether that means evicting the offending party or moving my party (while this solution can be inconvenient, it is usually accompanied by a comped meal or two). I have also had other patrons cheer for me.

The only time I am very reluctant to use this approach is on an airplane. Obviously, we are all a captive audience in that situation, and unless an older child's behavior could create an unsafe situation (in which case, I rely on the flight attendants to do their jobs), there's not a whole lot you can do. I will ask a parent, or the child if they're old enough, to stop kicking my seat, playing peek-a-boo, shouting, etc.

It always amuses me that 99% of the parents who chime in on these types of discussions have absolute ANGELS for kid and grandkids.

I know I sound like a shrew to some of you. I'm not parent, by choice, and while your children are, as they should be, special to you, please remember that the rest of the world is not their adoring public.

Well said Trevoli

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/30/2014 Trevoli said:
Unruly children and do-nothing parents are, or, at least, should be, unacceptable.

I agree with a lot of posters who place the blame squarely on the parents. Unless there is some kind of medical issue, all of this behavior is LEARNED. Kids test and push limits, and if there are no consequences, or, worse yet, if this behavior is REWARDED (controlling a tantrum by buying a child a toy, for instance), then why wouldn't you (as a child) behave badly? It's certainly more fun than sitting quietly and respecting others.

Whenever I encounter a respectful and polite child, I always make it a point to praise them, and comment to their parent(s) what a wonderful job they are doing. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen often.

The older I get, the less patience I have, and the less I will put up with. I have been known to approach parent(s) in public places and say, quietly as I don't want to embarrass them (at least, not at first) words to the affect, "I can see how you would think that your experience here is more more important than everybody else's, but I'm here to tell you that it's not. Please do something about this behavior, or I will do my best to have all of you evicted."

Sometimes this elicits a good response, sometimes it does not. I have been yelled and sworn at. At that point, I will seek out a manager and insist that they make it right, whether that means evicting the offending party or moving my party (while this solution can be inconvenient, it is usually accompanied by a comped meal or two). I have also had other patrons cheer for me.

The only time I am very reluctant to use this approach is on an airplane. Obviously, we are all a captive audience in that situation, and unless an older child's behavior could create an unsafe situation (in which case, I rely on the flight attendants to do their jobs), there's not a whole lot you can do. I will ask a parent, or the child if they're old enough, to stop kicking my seat, playing peek-a-boo, shouting, etc.

It always amuses me that 99% of the parents who chime in on these types of discussions have absolute ANGELS for kid and grandkids.

I know I sound like a shrew to some of you. I'm not parent, by choice, and while your children are, as they should be, special to you, please remember that the rest of the world is not their adoring public.

You don't sound like a shrew to me... I'm in complete agreement. And you know, if some folks want to assume we're both shrews, well, that's on them!

In my pantry with my cupcakes...