@Puzzle Piece. I think to some degree most of us have hurtful things in our childhoods! Granted, some are much worse than others, and some are simply imagined. No matter what they are, with some exceptions, hurt is hurt! My family has had more than our share of hurt, which is why, I think, we are so sensative to other's pain! My grandfather immigrated to America by himself at the age of 15! His father and uncle were Presbeterian missionaries working in Russia, Persia, and Turkey. He was sent here to make money to send back to his family! He was a small boy and worked pedaling (literally and figuratively )pots and pans through the back hills of Tennessee and Kentucky. One day he was so sick he collapsed by the side of the road. Some decent person found him and his bicycle full of pots and pans, and took him to the hospital. His appendix had ruptured! He paid that kindness forward his whole life! My mom was a dark haired "ugly duckling" (in a family of fair haired blondes with blue eyes) in a school and at a time where beauty was what got you "accepted"! She spent her teenaged years trying to fit in! In college, she blossomed, was stunning in her own right and brilliant to boot! As a child, I was sexually molested by my babysitter, and then later by a friend's brother! We moved every two years with my father's job. I had no siblings and no other family, besides my parents, as a support system. We didn't live anywhere long enough for me to make any lasting friendships, so I was always odd kid out. Then, after a very bad experience, my dad began drinking, which only got worse every year. But, the experiences we had all through our lives made us more sensative to what others were going through, and we always tried to do what we could to help. Yes, sometimes the one time we were able to step in and help may have been too little to help, but we always did more than we were able. I have always hoped that at least that counted for something. So, my children have learned by watching us. I make no bones about the fact I spoil everyone I love,most especially my children, and additionally, everyone I can! But, my children were also shown that not everyone has even basic needs. From the time they were three, they learned to donate "good" and unused toys at Christmas. We took names off the "Angel tree" and they bought gifts from their own money.(they have loved doing that more than receiving gifts!). They continue to do this, today. As I posted, they would always sit with a lonely child, or include others in their groups. My kids are very good looking, intelligent, musically inclined klutzes! Therefore, they were the ones who didn't get chosen for any teams in gym. The teacher knew our family socially, and for some reason, resented us. ( well, I know why, but it was out of my control! For another post!) so, he did nothing to help them, or make it fair. So, yes, my kids had (practically) everything they wanted. But, they also knew what rejection felt like, and understood how blessed they were for so many other reasons.
Obviously, one reach out doesn't fix years of pain. Trust me, nothing does. But, I'd rather have one person reach out, than for everyone to keep on going by me when I need a friend! Everyone in my family helps and keeps helping. We try to lead by example. We can't force others to follow, but we keep trying. I know first hand how painful life can be, and how unfair. But, my mother's favorite saying is, " The same hot water that boils an egg hard also boils a potato soft." I guess it all comes down to whether we want to be eggs or potatoes!
Unfortunately, ignorance is the root of all evil, in my opinion. What others don't know frightens them. When they are afraid they think they are protecting themselves by either joining groups of haters, or by choosing their own victims, and "elevating themselves by putting others down". It never really works. In the end, they are in as much pain as the rest of us. So, I'll keep trying, one person at a time, and maybe someday those of us who refuse to quit trying will become a trend!☺️
Never underestimate the power of kindness.
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