Mom to Mom

[chrystaltree]

Relax, take a deep breath.  She's 23 and that's the age when young adults move out on their own.  You raised her to be an independant woman...and now she is.   You have separate your feeling from the reality of the situation.  You'll miss her, of course.  She'll miss you too.  But she's read to begin her own journey.  So, be happy for her (even if you have to fake it for a while) and be supportive and offer advice when she asks for it.  She's  going to make a mistake or two, that's how she'll learn and grow.  If you are accepting and supportive now, it will make it easier for her to come to you if ever needs you.

[LilacTree]

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@qvc chick wrote:

My daughter, who just turned 23 wants to move into her own apartment.  She has a good job, but this apartment will cost her most of her paycheck. 

We live in a townhome right now, just the two of us.  We are very close, but sometimes she gets moody.

I told her, why not wait until she saves enough money, and then buy something. This way she will have a tax write off.

I have to admit it will be very lonely without her.  I like her company.

Need advise from other moms who have gone thru this!

Thanks

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@qvc chick

Let her go . . . she'll be back.

[qvc chick]

I already have a pet.

And I am going thru some stress at the moment.  My feeling is why now, she could wait a few months for some things to settle down.  She is very impulse. I am not.  There is no reason why she couldn't wait a few months.  And start purchasing all the things she needs to furnish an apartment.

I am also a single parent, no husband

[chrystaltree]

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@qvc chick wrote:

I already have a pet.

And I am going thru some stress at the moment.  My feeling is why now, she could wait a few months for some things to settle down.  She is very impulse. I am not.  There is no reason why she couldn't wait a few months.  And start purchasing all the things she needs to furnish an apartment.

I am also a single parent, no husband

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      Big mistake, building your life around your kid.   She's leaving now because she wants to.  It's as simple as that.  She doesn't want to wait a few months and it sounds like she's a smart young woman.  You are clinging to her and putting your needs above her needs and desires.  That's just plain wrong.

[Melania]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@qvc chick wrote:

My daughter, who just turned 23 wants to move into her own apartment.  She has a good job, but this apartment will cost her most of her paycheck. 

We live in a townhome right now, just the two of us.  We are very close, but sometimes she gets moody.

I told her, why not wait until she saves enough money, and then buy something. This way she will have a tax write off.

I have to admit it will be very lonely without her.  I like her company.

Need advise from other moms who have gone thru this!

Thanks

---

@qvc chick

Let her go . . . she'll be back.

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Wow...no wonder the situation is the way it is.

ETA: Ya'll have lived your lives...and yet it's all about how it affects you.

[KingstonsMom]

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@qvc chick wrote:

I already have a pet.

And I am going thru some stress at the moment.  My feeling is why now, she could wait a few months for some things to settle down.  She is very impulse. I am not.  There is no reason why she couldn't wait a few months.  And start purchasing all the things she needs to furnish an apartment.

I am also a single parent, no husband

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@qvc chick

You're making it all about you and she's trying to tell you she's ready to make it about her and what she wants at this time in her life.

You have to accept that or risk damaging your relationship with her in the future.

Let go graciously and lovingly, if you want to maintain a good relationship with her in the future.

[MalteseMomma]

You should thank your lucky stars! Family love and closeness, is wonderful ,except when you live together.

The further away ,the better the relationship!  Take  it from one who knows.............

Congratulations to your daughter,she has a good head on her shoulders

[qualitygal]

Sometimes the best lesson our kids can learn, is to experience it. And when it concerns money, it's real obvious. So bide your time, and she'll probably be back before you know it. I think our mom's job, is to raise our little chicks, so they can learn to fly on their own. We won't be here forever, and they need to try their wings and learn to fly. Don't worry, they fly home for visits too.

@qvc chick

[KaySD]

It's quite possible that you two will be even closer after she's on her own--not instantly but after a while. She's likely to have some important work to finish, becoming her own person, so don't worry if you don't hear from her as often as you would enjoy. Your feelings are very understandable, but it's important for your future relationship to let go of the old "mother-daughter" stuff if you want to make room for new "adult friends" stuff.

[KingstonsMom]

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@qvc chick wrote:

I already have a pet.

And I am going thru some stress at the moment.  My feeling is why now, she could wait a few months for some things to settle down.  She is very impulse. I am not.  There is no reason why she couldn't wait a few months.  And start purchasing all the things she needs to furnish an apartment.

I am also a single parent, no husband

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@qvc chick

SHE must have her reason(s) not to wait a few months before moving out and trust me, it wouldn't be any easier on you if she DID wait a few months.

You'd still have your same anxiety over her leaving then, you're just trying to buy time with that mindset.

I still say that you should let her go lovingly....or risk losing a close relationship with her in the future.......your choice.