Re: Mom is in hospital, fell and has memory loss

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@RedTop wrote:
@Beautiful life,
Hospitals always have notaries on staff; usually several registration clerks, social workers, employees in finance, and administration are notary publics. Patients often need to sign important documents while they are in the hospital.

Banks do too. We had to have one come twice since I couldn't take dad out for that. Call them and see if they have someone who can come to your home. They didn't and couldn't charge for that service (dad had an account there), but an attorney to come to the house for that, will charge, including his driving time and distance.

Ainhisg · ‎03-09-2010

I couldn't agree more with what @RedTop wrote. In-home health care is very expensive, and it is hard to find trustworthy help. I would suggest that you tour some assisted facilities to see if they might be a good fit for you. The one where we placed Mom certainly was for us. It is small, and the staff treats Mom and us so well. No worries about medication mix-ups, falls where she wouldn't be found, either not eating or not eating nutritious food, a doctor on call 24/7, etc. Mom is in an Americare assisted living facility. It is so nice, clean, and home-like. There are about 30 residents. You might see if there is one of these where you live as I can highly recommend them. A semi private room runs $110 a day, and a private room is $145.

flickerbulb · ‎03-09-2010

My advice is to contact an estate attorney as soon as possible. They will set up and complete all of the paperwork necessary to place her in a nursing home.

They will advise you on how to arrange her finances to make it economically feasible to afford daily care.

They know all the in and outs of the system and will be able to guide you.

Good luck and I hope I was able to be of help. You are going to go through a lot of emotions, so take care of yourself.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Could be that the pain meds given to her re: her fall have been making her more confused, etc. I've seen this happen several times. Replacing strong meds with OTC Tylenol types of pain meds might return her to a better state of mind. Sometimes you have to talk with the doctor and find out the side effects of whatever pain meds they are giving her, and ask if they can be replaced with extra strength Tylenol (or similar OTC pain meds). Just a thought/suggestion. The best of luck to your mom.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Snoopp · ‎02-02-2015

@Beautiful life is she treated by a neurologist currently? Speak to him/her to get the real status of your mom's condition. If it's medication they may be able to switch it or take her off it.

Some people get a home health aid during the day. From what I have read, it seems more affordable to find one privately rather than going through an agency. I don't know how you do that exactly but calling some social service agencies for seniors might yield some leads.

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

@Snoopp wrote:
@Beautiful life is she treated by a neurologist currently? Speak to him/her to get the real status of your mom's condition. If it's medication they may be able to switch it or take her off it.

Some people get a home health aid during the day. From what I have read, it seems more affordable to find one privately rather than going through an agency. I don't know how you do that exactly but calling some social service agencies for seniors might yield some leads.

Be very, very wary about hiring a home health care aide privately rather than from a agency. I live in a 55 and over age restricted community. ONe of homeowners hired a non agency home aide to stay with her 80 something mother during the day while she worked. THe mother got sick and soiled her bedding and carpeting. THe home health aide totally lost it and hit the poor woman in the head with a hammer multiple times killing her. SHe then put the Mom's body in her car, drove her to a rural location and dismembered and burned her body. PRetty horrible but when you hire a Non vetted person you don't know what you are getting.

Snoopp · ‎02-02-2015

@KathyPet what a horrible story. I hope there are ways to do a thorough background check on someone, at least be able to do the same as an agency would do. A reference from someone you know who used the aide would be preferable as well but it's probably hard to find.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

She suffered a brain injury or concussion and it's possible that her brain will mend and she'll bounce back to her old self. I'll pray for that. It's encouraging that her head CT came back normal. That means there is no serious traumatic injury. I hope the "nursing home" is more rehab center than nursing home. She needs therapy. You should speak with the hospital regarding her treatment plan at the nursing home and you should speak with her doctor at the nursing home. They shouldn't assume that, this is the way she'll be now. Treatment for head injuries is crucial regardless of the patient's age. When she is ready to be dicharged from the nursing home, there will be a discharge plan and that's when whatever she needs and requires at home will be addressed by her medical team and the social worker. A few days after she is in the nursing home, after she has been assessed, there should be a team meeting with you, any other family members, the medical team and the social worker to discuss the plans for her care. It sounds like it is too early to be thining about her going home now.

Beautiful life · ‎03-11-2010

My mom came home after two weeks in the nursing home. My mom was doing fine on her own, I was with her a lot of the time. Last week I called my mom and she said she fell On the floor, she was shaking. I called 911. She needed a pacemaker and when they started surgery her heart stopped, luckily they got it beating again. My mom caught a staff staph infection and pneumonia while in the hospital. She's been there for 5 days. Today she's going back to the nursing home/rehab.

my mom has a very hard time walking. I'm not sure what to do after the nursing home. I can have her live with me but not sure it's the best idea. Can't afford nursing care at 4-5 grand a month. She doesn't qualify for Medicade.

she wants to go home, she's happy there but I need her to be safe.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@Beautiful life,

I'm not sure how much experience you have with caring for the elderly. Once our loved ones start falling, and are classified as fall risks, they are not safe living alone.

Yes, your Mom is definitely happiest in her home. When she's in her home, she still feels independent, and she has familiar surroundings that keep her reminded of her daily routine. She can function in her home because her mind still knows her routine. But is she really safe at home? Not if she continues to fall. At the very least, she should have a Life Alert system, and a sitter with her for several hours a day.

My 83 year old mother is happiest in her home too, and my brothers and I are doing everything we can to keep her there as long as possible. The same rule applies to Mom that applied to her mother; falls change everything. In my grandmothers case, her first fall at 97 resulted in a broken hip, and she never went home again. Mom knows our plan is to care for her in her home by taking turns staying with her; we know she would never be comfortable to live with any of us.

I certainly wish the best for your Mom, and I wish you well with coming to terms with this situation and doing what has to be done.