Mom to Mom

[Malcontent]

@patticakes 

If you’re tracking your daughter, the issue might be with you and not really with her unless you’ve a really good reason for tracking her besides her boyfriend drives too fast.

Is she living at home?

If so, sit her down and be straight with her.  You’re her mom and not her peer.

[Sooner]

I cannot imagine some guy letting his date's mama tell him how fast to drive.  I suspect that will get rid of this guy for you -- for sure when he finds out or if his date starts griping about how he is driving.  

[Goldengate8361]

I don't think there's really anything you can do....except just state the facts and tell him to slow down if it's really excessively high speeds. Don't over think it! Don't worry so much about upsetting your daughter! You are her parent....you get to say things like this. It's ok if she gets mad at you. Honest! 

[Still Raining]

Checked in with one of my 40 something kids to see what their take would have been when they were a young adults - once they got done laughing, the language oh my.  

[Carmie]

My opinion is very different.  First, stop tracking her.  

Second, if you truly know he is speeding excessively going way over the speed limit, speak up.  I know I would.

My husband was a police officer for 35 years.  He was also   A crime scene investigator and taught other officers at the academy.

Part of his duties was to photograph crime scenes and accidents.  I have seen the photos of hundreds of car accidents that were fatal.  I will spare everyone the gruesome details. Let me just say, there is nothing you can do after the fact.

I would kindly remind this young man that your daughter is precious to you and her safety is important.  Ask him to drive safely and not put her life as well as his in danger. Ask him to promise to slow down.

If he or your daughter get upset, too bad for them.  Do it anyway.  

[Sooner]

@patticakes A big question is when and where do you draw the line?  If she is married and 25 and they are making terrible financial decisions, are you going to weigh in?

At this age the looming question is what are you comfortable and what will your daughter be comfortable, and what will a significant other be comfortable? What if you don't agree with wedding plans?  What is you think the groom's mom has too much influence?  Etc. 

After reading these boards for 30 years and seeing some tragic and unbelievable things, I don't think it is too soon to be thinking about the future for you and your daughter, and get comfortable with it now.  

[rms1954]

Is your daughter not responsible enough to not get in a vehicle with someone who drives that fast?  

[Imaoldhippie]

Are you tracking her with her permission?  Tracking 2 adults is a huge mistake.  Both are adults, you and dad need mind your own business, if you dont you will alienate your daughter and boyfriend.  

[meem120]

Just tell him.  You are driving to fast .  Slow down.

[4kitties]

Well, you can talk to him and tell him to drive safely, slow down, follow speed limits, etc. but do you really think that will solve the problem and he will do as you say?