Mom to Mom

[wowee]

seems like today most parents want to interfer in all aspects of the childs life...And any kind of picking on is now ""bullying"" SAD> good for you for letting your boys be boys!!!

[scatcat]

Can you politely tell her to back off? You'd think by the 4th child, she'd be ready to cut the umbilical cord sooner rather than later. And thanks for the STFU chuckle!

[Susan_Marie]

I'm sorry I have nothing to offer but I am very curious, what is a "helicopter" mom?

[gilmoregirl]

A hoverer...lol

[Susan_Marie]

oh ok..gotcha! lol

[goodstuff]

Your son is best friends with a boy whose parents' parenting style is very different from yours. I'd bet she is as critical of how you parent your children (you let them walk to school and go beyond your cul de sac?!?) as you are of how she parents hers. Sorry, but I doubt you're in a position to change her mind or parenting behaviors much.

Probably the best reaction is to be as calm and non-reactive as possible when she calls to insert herself on her son's behalf or to take issue with you on some parenting approach. Don't get drawn into long discussions or arguments. If she calls upset because her son had a conflict with your boys, just say "Yes, conflicts sometimes come up when kids play; I was glad to see that the boys were able to settle things on their own. It all worked out." Or "Yes, both of them wanted to play with Danny's new racecar set, but I suggested they take turns, and they did. Problem solved." If she wants to assert her opinion, just calmly state what you expect of your child and what you allow your child to do.......and move on.

I think it's fine to talk with your own son about the differences in your parenting/life philosophy and his friend's mom's philosophy. Don't be critical or disrespectful......just acknowledge the differences and the fact that your son's friend may not be able to do some of the things your son can because he has to mind his mom. Hopefully this will help your son to understand and be more empathetic about his friend's predicament.

[Nancy Drew]

Just tell her, we are never going to agree as our parenting styles are different and dream of the days when the kids are grown and you don't have to deal with other parents.

[SahmIam]

Thanks everyone. I don't care how they raise their son (as long as he is not being sexually, physically, mentally abused). Their style is their style and there it is. I have NO desire to instruct her, change it, ridicule it... nothing. I simply want to know how to get it across to her that I do NOT want to be called about every little thing she and her husband interpret as being hurtful/harmful to her child.

It gets old hearing how my son should not have bought her son an ice-cream cone because her son ate it and now won't eat dinner. It getd old seeing her son cry and sitting on the curb while all the boys are having a watergun fight and then being called to say I should NOT have allowed my son to play that because her son was left out. It's just.... old.

It appears there really is no tactful way of saying something that isn't going to trickle down to the boys' friendship.. and that's a shame, you know? But there it is.

Thank you all, once again. : )

[chi5925]

On 5/28/2014 ILuvMarley said:

I'm sorry I have nothing to offer but I am very curious, what is a "helicopter" mom?

Helicopter mom=one who has to be involved in every single second of their child's life. Kid has soccer practice? mom drives him to practice-watches practice entire time-drives him home.

Kid has homework? mom sits with him while he's doing it. I've even heard of parents who actually DO the homework for the kid.

"helicopter" reference is because a helicopter can hover which is what these moms are doing....hovering over their kids.

Eventually the kids grow up and develop into needy or self-absorbed individuals with no social skills.

The mom that the OP talks about is a classic example.

edited for spelling

[ROMARY]

I'd probably tell my son sorry, that he can't have the boy next door as a friend. That his mom is causing problems and I'm sick and tired of all of her phone calls. I'd probably just say that he could end up being 'trouble' in the long run. I'd tell my son to play with him at school, during lunchtime, but not here at home. That should end the phone calls. Sorry, but I don't see any other alternative.