Mom to Mom

[LilacTree]

My family (meaning my four daughters) is so fractured.  I need to see a therapist, because I'm finding it very difficult to deal with it the older and sicker I get.

[tends2dogs]

I am so sorry to read this.  It is good that you recognize that you can't handle this on your own and are acknowledging that you need help.  I will pray for you to find the strength to work through this or at least come to some sort of resolve about it.  I will also pray that you find the right person to help you achieve peace and happiness at this stage of your life.

You deserve it.

[LilacTree]

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@tends2dogs wrote:

I am so sorry to read this.  It is good that you recognize that you can't handle this on your own and are acknowledging that you need help.  I will pray for you to find the strength to work through this or at least come to some sort of resolve about it.  I will also pray that you find the right person to help you achieve peace and happiness at this stage of your life.

You deserve it.

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@tends2dogs

Thank you Tends2dogs.  I can't go into all of it because of the nature of this BB.  But I definitely need someone to talk to.  My beloved sister is gone, and my two brothers would not know how to handle it.  I have friends, but I rarely see them anymore since my retirement is now over eleven years ago.

You are a sweetheart.

[LilacTree]

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@tends2dogs wrote:

I am so sorry to read this.  It is good that you recognize that you can't handle this on your own and are acknowledging that you need help.  I will pray for you to find the strength to work through this or at least come to some sort of resolve about it.  I will also pray that you find the right person to help you achieve peace and happiness at this stage of your life.

You deserve it.

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@tends2dogs

I always forget to mention to you that I love your sig about Eternity.  I don't know whether to tell you how I feel about it though.  But . . . my answer is yes, I think about it often.

[tends2dogs]

I feel sad for you that your sister is gone @LilacTree.  I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my sister about things.  We talk just about everyday.  She is my therapist .....so is my DH.  I don't know what I would do without them.  I/we don't have a big circle of friends.  I/we have never been what you might call "social". 

It would be hard if there is discourse with adult children.  We can't usually fix what is wrong with them......or what WE think is wrong with them, but I guess we need to know how to learn how to accept it, process it, put it in it's place within OUR life OR let it take us under.  This is perhaps what you are talking about as far as needing someone to talk to, someone that can help you put perspective on the situation.

We can't control what is dealt to us in life, but we can contol how to deal with it .........sounds so cliche, but there is truth in it.  I guess the biggest thing is realizing there are some things we just can't change......that is where the "knowing how to deal with it" comes in.  I hope you can find someone to help you with this.

[qualitygal]

Sometimes we just need someone to listen, and not judge. I think it's great you know you need and want this, good luck to you. May you find your peace.

[Mom2Dogs]

@LilacTree... I am sorry for what you are going thru, family can be difficult, I know first hand.

Would it be possible for you to live in an assisted living home instead of living with your daughter?  It might help alleviate some stress.

[tends2dogs]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@tends2dogs wrote:

I am so sorry to read this.  It is good that you recognize that you can't handle this on your own and are acknowledging that you need help.  I will pray for you to find the strength to work through this or at least come to some sort of resolve about it.  I will also pray that you find the right person to help you achieve peace and happiness at this stage of your life.

You deserve it.

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@tends2dogs

I always forget to mention to you that I love your sig about Eternity.  I don't know whether to tell you how I feel about it though.  But . . . my answer is yes, I think about it often.

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@LilacTree  I know from some of your past posts that you have mentioned that you aren't a "believer".  As a believer, that is why I remember this .  I won't push onto you what eternity means to me......it is pretty cut and dry.  BUT the fact that you think about it is good.  The only thing I will say about it is, I believe that everyone will go into eternity.....it is just a choice as to where.  Enough said on that....

[LilacTree]

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@tends2dogs wrote:

I feel sad for you that your sister is gone @LilacTree.  I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my sister about things.  We talk just about everyday.  She is my therapist .....so is my DH.  I don't know what I would do without them.  I/we don't have a big circle of friends.  I/we have never been what you might call "social". 

It would be hard if there is discourse with adult children.  We can't usually fix what is wrong with them......or what WE think is wrong with them, but I guess we need to know how to learn how to accept it, process it, put it in it's place within OUR life OR let it take us under.  This is perhaps what you are talking about as far as needing someone to talk to, someone that can help you put perspective on the situation.

We can't control what is dealt to us in life, but we can contol how to deal with it .........sounds so cliche, but there is truth in it.  I guess the biggest thing is realizing there are some things we just can't change......that is where the "knowing how to deal with it" comes in.  I hope you can find someone to help you with this.

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@tends2dogs

As usual, you have hit the nail right on the head.  I've been trying to keep this is perspective for a long while.  I think what is happening is that I am getting old and they are getting tired of dealing with it.  I do not complain very often, but they know what I am experiencing and I can understand that they are at the point where each one thinks the other isn't doing enough and it's all on them.

I try to be a mirage (something that's not really there), but that's not working.  Today something is happening, but no one will tell me what.  I will get over it soon, because I can usually remove myself after a while.  In the meantime, I say nothing.

[LilacTree]

@Mom2Dogs

I have to leave soon, momtodogs. I will get back to you with an answer on this.