Re: Aging moms

ccassaday · ‎10-21-2010

My parents are 64 and 63. I am 44 and disabled and live wit them. My sisters are 41 and 36. The older one lives 4 hours away. The other one lives about 10 minutes away and will be even closer when we move. Our families are just kind of one big close family. No drama. My brother in law is great. The relationship with the one that is 4 hours away is close but different then the one that lives close. My mom babysat my niece and nephew when my sister went off maternity leave. They are now 8 and 5. The older one is in 2nd grade and the younger one is in her last day of preschool. We have the younger one just 1.5 days a week now. I can't imagine not having a close family. Family is the only ones that will be there when you need them.

ccassaday · ‎10-21-2010

One of the big things even though we are close my parents don't offer advice unless asked. They need to make their own family decisions.

qvcaddition · ‎03-10-2010

@LilacTree wrote:
I'm talking aging moms with middle-aged children. So that means the 70-80 year olds.

Would you say your children involve you in their lives, discuss issues with you, appreciate your experience and knowledge, and consider you an important part of their family?

Or do they keep you in the dark regarding family issues, adopt a "don't tell mom" attitude, and avoid situations where they feel you might have an opinion?

I'm not saying they don't love you, worry about you, and help you when you need it. I'm just talking about allowing you to feel as though you are still an important part of the family and give you the respect that you always had when everyone was younger. In other words, allow you to feel as though you are still "useful."

If I really need help, my son that lives 20 miles away helps and calls once a week. My son that lives a mile away never calls, but has me email him once a day to let him know I,m OK. IF I don,t send one by 3M, he will check . I have only forgotten twice. In his defense he has a lot of problems, so I have to be one less of a worry.

I know that I am not important in their lives. Nor MY Grandchildren. I have learned to live with it, though it gets painful at times. I am a very strong woman and a survivor. I have a busy life volunteering, taking care of my home and two big yards, going to school, yes at 80, I go to college. Got a scholarship at age 72 and gave the graduation speech, made the Dean,s Honor list. They know I might be old number wise, but not mentally. I go to the gym and out with friends. I also have my best friend, a Poodle/Maltese mix who volunteers at hospitals. I could feel sorry for myself, it life is too short not to live it the best we can, even with the sad and hurtful parts.