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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,955
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

My decorating skills are nil. I would give anything to put together a lovely room, and I would have told friend who first decorated that I was frantic for help, and could she extend her guidance before I bought for MY new home.

 

I feel sorry for copying friend. She now has the image of a beautiful home, and has lost a friend that she might have invited to see it.

Super Contributor
Posts: 398
Registered: ‎06-13-2016

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

So glad my response did not anger you ...I have had experience with this...my husband and I bought a lot in a new housing development ...brother in law a few days later went in and bought I lot ..we had to stall off building because our other house did not sell...when we finally did move in everyone said why did you copy him and move into the same neighborhood ....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,486
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)


@queendiva wrote:

Your friend who did the copying is very insensitive. Copied the mutual "friend" by moving to the same community (ok) and then bought same decor and some same furnishings. Then invites her to see the place and wonders why she's miffed? 

 

Copier should have been upfront with the friend from the start and asked for her help and decorating advice from the start.  Copier breached your friend's trust. Kinda like stealing intellectual property, in a way. It was dishonest. Clearly, you will have to remain friends separately with these women. Trust was broken, without apology. That's no kind of friend.

You might want to think about the copycat as a friend of yours. She seems quite immature and lacking confidence as well as lacking empathy.

 


BINGO!  You nailed it!  It is theft!  Theft of intellectual property.  It's appropriating someone's personality, talent and identy for your own.

 

I had that happen to me over a piece of jewelry I was going to buy.  It was handmade and one of a kind.  I asked a friend to go shop for it with me when I was going to buy it and she said oh wait a while then shot out and bought it!  I am still down deep peeved over that.

 

My husband didn't think it was that awful.  But you ladies know it was!  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,580
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

I'd be miffed.

 

That would be like someone admiring what you wore all the time and going out and constantly buying the exact same clothing items.

 

My relative had a purse that I really, really liked.  It went on sale for a good price and I wanted to buy it. I called her first and asked if she would mind because we are together a lot.  I told her I was getting a different color.  She said absolutely not.  So I bought it.  LOL

 

We often end up with the exact same nail polish or toenail polish on and laugh about it.  We just have the same taste.  But I'd never copy her home furnishings without asking her.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

I vote for staying neutral, and if they can't leave you out of the middle (and bring up the other person or this issue over an over) , then back away from whoever isn't mature enough to let this go (at least around you!). 

 

I had a long time friend that, after a lot of years, started to buy the same things I did. Home things, clothing styles etc. and we couldn't have been more different, especially in size at the time. She was very short and petite (under 5') and I was 5' 7" and twice her weight. I don't know why she especially choose the same clothing styles as I did, but it did get annoying.

 

I simply tired to take it as a compliment, and move on. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,458
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

"During the building process we did ALOT of shopping, deciding what she could use from her previous home &  purchased new furniture to enhance her home.  Everything is beautiful, well appointed & beach theme."

 

So Friend A does a huge amount of work, figuring out how to design her new home and sourcing the pieces she was adding to her existing furnishings.

 

Friend B tagged along on at least some of that shopping, so she got to see the sources, the theme, and the results. She copied Friend A, using Friend A's creative work and presumably her sources.

 

Friend B might want both of you to think "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," but IMO, this crosses the line into appropriation, a nicer word for theft. Friend B owes Friend A both a design fee and a finder's fee for the sources, assuming she used some of them.

 

This would terminate a friendship for me, because it's not petty. If it was one piece of furniture or a paint color for one room, that's one thing, or if Friend B had discussed it with Friend A and been upfront and honorable, that would put a whole different spin on it. But she used Friend A as if she was a shelter magazine or a home show, not a friend, and that speaks volumes about her.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)


@Sooner wrote:

@queendiva wrote:

Your friend who did the copying is very insensitive. Copied the mutual "friend" by moving to the same community (ok) and then bought same decor and some same furnishings. Then invites her to see the place and wonders why she's miffed? 

 

Copier should have been upfront with the friend from the start and asked for her help and decorating advice from the start.  Copier breached your friend's trust. Kinda like stealing intellectual property, in a way. It was dishonest. Clearly, you will have to remain friends separately with these women. Trust was broken, without apology. That's no kind of friend.

You might want to think about the copycat as a friend of yours. She seems quite immature and lacking confidence as well as lacking empathy.

 


BINGO!  You nailed it!  It is theft!  Theft of intellectual property.  It's appropriating someone's personality, talent and identy for your own.

 

I had that happen to me over a piece of jewelry I was going to buy.  It was handmade and one of a kind.  I asked a friend to go shop for it with me when I was going to buy it and she said oh wait a while then shot out and bought it!  I am still down deep peeved over that.

 

My husband didn't think it was that awful.  But you ladies know it was!  


 

 

Sorry but this is just too much drama "theft of intellectual property"! Starting to sound like 8th grade mean girls stuff!

 

It isn't like the woman who first bought the house and furnishings was patenting/copyrighting her 'designs'. She was simply putting together her own home. And the friend that copied, while immature and insecure in some way to need to do that, didn't 'steal' anything but ideas, and that is no crime. If it is, everyone that has gone into a furniture store and purchased the entire grouping on display or looked at a magazine and chosen that kitchen or that room to recreate is doing the same. 

 

Really a bunch of hoo ha over nothing. And if the lady that was copied can't let this go and move on (even if she needs to erase the copy cat from her life) is as immature as the one doing the copying. Making such a fuss about this is petty.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,038
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)


@Mominohio wrote:

@Sooner wrote:

@queendiva wrote:

Your friend who did the copying is very insensitive. Copied the mutual "friend" by moving to the same community (ok) and then bought same decor and some same furnishings. Then invites her to see the place and wonders why she's miffed? 

 

Copier should have been upfront with the friend from the start and asked for her help and decorating advice from the start.  Copier breached your friend's trust. Kinda like stealing intellectual property, in a way. It was dishonest. Clearly, you will have to remain friends separately with these women. Trust was broken, without apology. That's no kind of friend.

You might want to think about the copycat as a friend of yours. She seems quite immature and lacking confidence as well as lacking empathy.

 


BINGO!  You nailed it!  It is theft!  Theft of intellectual property.  It's appropriating someone's personality, talent and identy for your own.

 

I had that happen to me over a piece of jewelry I was going to buy.  It was handmade and one of a kind.  I asked a friend to go shop for it with me when I was going to buy it and she said oh wait a while then shot out and bought it!  I am still down deep peeved over that.

 

My husband didn't think it was that awful.  But you ladies know it was!  


 

 

Sorry but this is just too much drama "theft of intellectual property"! Starting to sound like 8th grade mean girls stuff!

 

It isn't like the woman who first bought the house and furnishings was patenting/copyrighting her 'designs'. She was simply putting together her own home. And the friend that copied, while immature and insecure in some way to need to do that, didn't 'steal' anything but ideas, and that is no crime. If it is, everyone that has gone into a furniture store and purchased the entire grouping on display or looked at a magazine and chosen that kitchen or that room to recreate is doing the same. 

 

Really a bunch of hoo ha over nothing. And if the lady that was copied can't let this go and move on (even if she needs to erase the copy cat from her life) is as immature as the one doing the copying. Making such a fuss about this is petty.


I wonder if you would feel the same way if a painting were copied, or a piece of sculpture, or some other piece of artwork.  Or if the woman happened to be a writer, and her work was plagiarized.  If you take decorating seriously, you are creating an artistic composition.  The creative process is the same as any other creative endeavor.  Not all people decorate that way.  Many just work with what they have, buy what they need, and hope it all turns out right.  If that's the way you work, you probably don't care if someone copies you.  If you approach your room as a blank canvas and work it like a composition, you would feel differently.  IMO, of course.

Contributor
Posts: 29
Registered: ‎11-23-2016

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

I would be a little miffed at first, but ultimately, I would feel a great deal of compassion more than any other feeling toward Decorator #2.  It is clear this person has no discernable talent for decorating.  Those of us who enjoy and thrive artistically with decorating may take it for granted that some people are just incapable of putting it together.  While many reading this would get excited at the prospect of having a blank space to work with, this person just basically took a work of art and photocopied it.  That's actually very sad when you think about it.  Decorator #1 needs to do some soul searching and realize that sympathy, not anger is the adult, mature emotion that should be in play here.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,523
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

This falls into a drama category for me.   My close friends probably wouldn't have even told me about this, as my response would've been that if you wanted original and unique, go custom.