Fashion

[italia8140]

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@ECBG wrote:

Absolutely!!!  What you wear and how your grooming is an indication of who you are.  Thank goodness at least the men were properly dressed.

I will wear black dress slacks and a dark top, heels, and a leather clutch, in cooler weather a blouse and blazer.

It seems in some cases people want to come but don't have anything but casual clothes.  At least they can be clean and neat.  

Bare midriffs belong very few places.

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Has NOTHING to do with it.

[TY]

The only memorial service I attended in the last year was for my father-in-law. I wore a nice pair of NYDJ 5 pocket black ponte ankle pants with black faux leather piping and a Mr Max teal rayon knit camisole with a matching waterfall cardigan. I know I wore a trench coat on top as it was a rainy June afternoon. I don't remember what shoes I wore though. I can't remember what anyone else wore and since I didn't know most of those elderly people either it wouldn't have mattered to me what they wore. I'm sure they all dressed appropriately.

[GingerPeach]

The most recent memorial services were rather different.

The first was one in which a youngish wife had lost her husband, but she wanted all who attended to celebrate his life.  She wore a white dress.  Most wore light colors.

The second was more traditional.  I wore black slacks, a white top, a taupe jacket, and a faux pearl necklace.  It was a while ago but I recall the necklace was that pastel "First Lady" necklace sold on QVC by Kenneth J. Lane about five or so years ago.

[CAMOGIRL]

To me a funeral is a somber event indeed. I do not think I ever worn anything but black. A small pattern of some sort, yes, but nothing that screams "look at me, look at me". You are not the center of attention and you should dress appropriately. Not saying you have to wear solid black head to toe... That is not necessary, but keep it toned down, save the colorful and the splashy for a joyous affair such as a graduation party, an engagement party, anniversary party, or a wedding.

[tedEbear]

  I wore a bright color dress to my Father's funeral, he wouldn't expect be anything else.   Also black is very limited in my wardrobe, nothing-----tedEbear

[JustJazzmom]

My Grandmother was buried on a Valentine's Day and when I gave the reading I wore a red turtleneck with a print black & red midi skirt many years ago. No one got bent out of shape by my attire. 

[Alter Ego]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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As for me, when I was at my grandfather's funeral many years ago, I decided that I would want everyone to attend my funeral in a Hawaiian shirt and that they should play all my favorite rock songs and drive me off in a hearse dragging tin cans and a "Just Died" sign. Because I want people to remember and celebrate my life, and that should include bright colors, happy songs, and the fun we all had.

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When my co-worker's BIL passed away last year, many people wore Hawaiian shirts at his request.  My co-worker, her daughters and the wife still wore dark dresses, but they were maxi type dresses and had flowers on them, keeping with the Hawaii theme.  They also wore real flower leis (as well as gave faux leis to the people attending - of which there was apparently several 100s, in not 1,000, as he was involved in his local church and community and very much loved.)

I personally try to wear dark colors - maybe not always black, but something that I deem respectful.  But, if all somebody has is their jeans, I"m not going to look down on them.

But...the comment about the daughter blowing bubbles and wearing shorts??  That's simply not appropriate.  Immediately brings me to Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino", where his grandchildren are dressed casually versus his neighbor's in their suits and cultural dress.

[Nonametoday]

ADVANCED EQUIETTE.com

3.  Proper Funeral Attire, 2015:

In Western culture, the proper color to wear at funerals has been black. While black is still best, especially for the immediate family of the deceased, guests have more options. They should still wear subdued, conservative clothing that is respectful to the event. Wearing jeans or the same clothes you would wear to a back-yard barbecue shows a great lack of care and respect for the person who has died, their family, and others. Everyone should have at least one nice set of clothes to wear for special occasions.

Colors to avoid include red, orange, and yellow and anything that has bright and cheery flowers or other bold and loud patterns. Wear clean, neat, well-pressed clothes. Men should wear a dark jacket with dark slacks, dark dress shoes, white or plain solid colored shirt, and a subdued tie. For younger men, the minimum should be a well-pressed solid-colored shirt, slacks, and dress shoes. Women should wear a dark or black suit, pant suit, or similar outfit that is subdued.

The key here is to have at least one good set of clothes for occasions like these. If you don’t, buy something… even at Goodwill. Never wear the same old wrinkled shirt, blue jeans, flip-flops, sandals, or sneakers. One of my pet peeves is how parents allow their children to wear sloppy clothes and jeans to special events such as weddings and funerals, rather than appropriate clothing.

Of course, this probably depends on other items such as social circumstances and location.  I assume if the spouse of the deceased is not wearing his/her teeth, you might feel at ease popping gum, wearing a red halter top and jeans.

[winamac1]

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@JustJazzmom wrote:

My Grandmother was buried on a Valentine's Day and when I gave the reading I wore a red turtleneck with a print black & red midi skirt many years ago. No one got bent out of shape by my attire. 

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That's a different story Jazz.   It was Valentine's day and she was YOUR grandmother.  I think red, in this case, is appropriate.

For people showing up to pay their respect...in general to funerals and showings..they ought to stick to appropriate attire--and I"m referring to NO shorts and no flipflops.

[okaywitheasypay]

<I think, though, if you're not sure,  it's always better to err on the side of sombre/muted , dressier and more conservative. I think that way, no-one (family of deceased) would be offended/upset.>

This is the way I feel. On the safe side. But as with everthing in life there are exceptions.

The modern day funeral is frequently called a celebration of a life . I think people showing up to comfort the loved ones is what is most important saying I loved this person also and am sorry for your loss.  Recognizing grief is a process that has certain steps to go through for all of us at some point.

Years ago my Aunt wore a red dress to my Grandmother's funeral. She had been a wonderful daughter and loved her mother very much. This was in a time when somber clothes were what one wore to a funeral. She spent time explaining to many atendees that she meant no disrespect but it was her mother's very favorite color ! When she came to me I said no explanation was necessary ,anyone that knew my grandmother was aware of her love for red and it was a tribute to her.