Re: update on my highly sensitive co-worker

JJ · ‎04-15-2010

On 3/21/2015 Plaid Pants said:
On 3/21/2015 JJ said:
On 3/21/2015 Plaid Pants said:
If someone flips out over a friendly tap on the shoulder, what do they do when someone accidentally bumps in to them? Have a melt-down?

There is nothing wrong with a friendly "excuse me" tap.

That's not invading someones "personal space".

I'll even put my hand on someones back, to let them know that I am behind them.

Horrors!

Have me arrested!

Okay, that is just wrong and inappropriate in the work place. If you want to let someone know you are behind them, why don't you just tell them that???

</ First, my hand is up by the shoulders, in addition to my saying that I am behind them. Second, no one has complained. You would think that if someone had a problem with people touching them, they would say something. Wouldn't that be the adult and logical thing to do? There is nothing wrong with a tap, or a hand on shoulder. Horror of horrors, we even hug each other where I work. It's called being friendly. I like it. It's nice.

There actually IS something wrong with a hand on the shoulder in a work place setting. If this, and other touching is acceptable at your work place, I have to assume your employer has not mandated any type of harassment education. You may not consider a tap or a hand on the shoulder is perfectly acceptable, someone else may not. Personally, I am not easily offended, but I know of situations where this very thing has been an issue.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

A tap on the shoulder, or a hand on the shoulders, is so not , "harassment". If it were, don't you think that somebody would have said something before now?

Lucibee · ‎03-19-2010

I thought about it. I wouldn't want anyone to touch me on the shoulder at work. I respect everyone's personal space.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

The bottom line is, no one is going to carry you (the universal "you", not directed at anyone on the thread) around on a pillow. If you are so sensitive that a light tap on the shoulder sends you into a frenzy, your ideal job situation would be working out of your home.

Sounds like this employee was spoiled a bit and people got tired of tip-toeing around on eggshells. No one like this will last long in a workplace setting.

shorelady · ‎03-10-2010

At the risk of being piled on and chastised (or worse), let me just say this..........since I am probably older than many of the posters here, all this "I am so sensitive" or "my upbringing suggests that I will go into an uncontrollable frenzy if touched on the shoulder" and all other rather lame excuses to look for and initiate unnecessary problems is just so difficult for me to comprehend or understand.

The workforce used to be a place to work and nothing more. You accomplished what you were hired for. Now we have to be politically correct about everything, attend endless and ridiculous sensitivity programs to benefit those who are looking for any excuse to cause problems, bend over backwards to avoid being sued by someone, or worse being fired to avoid problems with the allegedly "offended" co-worker. Seems like this has become the "IN" thing to do.

And YES, I was abused (that is, beaten) by an alcoholic father so I do have a background that would warrant an excuse for any behavior I choose. And YES there are people who may or may not have serious problems, but it seems lately that every time you turn around, someone is complaining about something. What I do find concerning is that those with imaginary issues are the ones to blame who make it more difficult for those with real problems to be heard and treated.

A slight tap on the shoulder or a light touch on the arm has now turned into groping. Seems that some would like to see the offender severely punished for something THEY think in their small minds is the worst that could happen.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

On 3/22/2015 YorkieonmyPillow said:
The bottom line is, no one is going to carry you (the universal "you", not directed at anyone on the thread) around on a pillow. If you are so sensitive that a light tap on the shoulder sends you into a frenzy, your ideal job situation would be working out of your home.

Sounds like this employee was spoiled a bit and people got tired of tip-toeing around on eggshells. No one like this will last long in a workplace setting.

I totally agree.

This may well be a serious problem...but the worker then needs to find a profession where it won't be an issue - maybe as a writer, painter, artist, something solitary that doesn't involve working with people in an office environment.

This isn't a disability and workplaces have no obligation to accommodate highly sensitive people...it should be the other way around - the highly sensitive worker, if they want to be in an office, needs to learn to ADJUST. Giving a co-worker a book and expecting them to accommodate...that's out of line, IMO.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

On 3/22/2015 Lucibee said: I thought about it. I wouldn't want anyone to touch me on the shoulder at work. I respect everyone's personal space.

The worker was screaming at a client into the phone and threatening her...THAT triggered the one time tap, in my situation.

SHE was invading everyone's personal space by HER actions.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

On 3/21/2015 Plaid Pants said: A tap on the shoulder, or a hand on the shoulders, is so not , "harassment". If it were, don't you think that somebody would have said something before now?

ITA. At schools they tell you to tap (more like a pat) or a handshake, instead of a hug.

Justina rae · ‎01-02-2015

On 3/22/2015 Lucibee said: I thought about it. I wouldn't want anyone to touch me on the shoulder at work. I respect everyone's personal space.

I also don't like being touched or having my personal space invaded but I wouldn't get into a frenzy if someone did. In most situations I'd probably just politely tell them not to do it again. And smile.

Years ago I was trying to return a defective item to Target. They were giving me a hard time. I asked to speak to the Manager. I very lightly touched him on the forearm to appeal to him. He went ballistic. He backed up and warned me - Don't YOU touch me! And on and on.

brii · ‎06-20-2010

I would never touch anybody unless I knew them very well. It's very intrusive and rude to touch someone else. You have no idea how that's going to be received.