"Go fund me website" How do you feel about asking for money?

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

I started another thread about Amber Roof asking for money for wedding loss due to brother's murder spree. I looked on the website to see what people were asking for in my area. Mostly medical and funeral expenses and for animals. I had never heard of this before. I wonder if most of them are legitimate. I saw a pet rescue that I know is legitimate but would rather just send them a check than go through the site. I was from the old school that if you needed money you worked hard and prayed. If you did not have the money for what you wanted or needed you did without. It never occured to me to ask for anything. I would almost rather cut my tongue out than ask for anything. I am not saying my way is right. I was very poor growing up and had a hard time after my divorce but still never thought to ask for help. When my stepfather died so many people said that he helped them out with money when they needed it. I thought wow whiy did'nt I ask him for help but it just never occured to me. I am 64 so doubt I will change now.

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

Aubegirl, I'm the same way. Once I started working at age 18, I felt I was responsible for my needs. There were times in my life when I didn't have 2 pennies to rub together and no one knew.

I think it drove my Dad crazy that I wouldn't ever ask for help.

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise

debic · ‎09-02-2010

They're not all real and that's why I would never donate to any of them.

Years ago I was on a board that got scammed big time by a member. The story was totally heartwrenching and a lot of people helped her out. Unfortunately none of it was true, and that's when the board banned every kind of 'donation' post. Even vote for my dog kind of stuff.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*

mom43 · ‎03-10-2010

I'm not one to ask for help - my older brother gets annoyed with me if I ever mention that I or my kids wanted something and we didn't have the money. He's done quite well and would be happy to give me or lend me money. I prefer to live pay as I go and only for what I can afford. Loans, credit, etc. are for really necessary items - replace a broken washer, repair a sudden car problem, etc. - not luxuries like vacations or over-priced sneakers.

That said, my son's girlfriend used gofundme to raise the money to go on a missionary trip to South America. They're college students and she had no way of getting the $2000 necessary to go. I happily donated. She was able to fund her trip that way in a very short period of time and is there now helping to set up a nursery school for the people of Guatamala. I think that's a great use of the website.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

Great topic.

In my area, it has always been done the old fashioned way, when folks were down on their luck or facing a big tragedy. Someone started a fund, at the local bank, an event was scheduled, with maybe a band or an auction, and funds were raised to help pay the medical bills, rebuild the house after a fire, or help put the kids in college when a local first responder was injured or killed. A high school classmate many years ago had two son's diagnosed with the same disease that was requiring,(then a lot of money) several hundred thousand dollars, just to begin treatment on the boys. The local community rallied and even the local radio stations held 'radiothons'.

That felt good, helping your neighbor, even if you didn't know them personally. People were willing, and it was home town.

Today it is online, it is impersonal, and it bears scrutiny. There are stories popping up all the time, where these type of requests turn out to be a scam, the kid never had cancer, the money is pocketed or not directed to the bills or cause it was set up to help, the administration of the fund takes up most of the money, or any other of a number of bad outcomes. People become jaded, and turn off all requests for help.

For me, I can't see doing anything like this, unless it deals with health. Health care is so expensive, and when people get sick, their world can fall apart quickly, so in those instances, I get it. Other than that, I really think you should plan for life's pitfalls as best you can, pray for the best, and lend a hand within your own community when and where you can.

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

This kind of thing makes me very uneasy. Funeral assistance or a medical fund might be one thing, as long as it's legitimately necessary (not vanity surgeries), but asking for contributions to pay for a wedding is tacky, IMO, no matter who you are. No one is entitled to a big wedding. If you can't afford one, then don't have one. There are many happily married couples out there who either went to the JP or pastor's office. The wedding doesn't make the marriage. What's next? GoFund my house? GoFund my vacation? GoFund my divorce? Too many people out there thinking they're entitled and thinking it's up to the village to take care of them forever. Ummm, No!

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

I love the idea of these sites, but just like anything else, you need to scrutinize who you send money to.

I donated to the fund to help the schol bus aide in Rochester NY a few years ago. I have also donated to several local causes, including a friend's ex who underwent a year of chemo and a bone marrow transplant at a hospital away from home (he finally passed at Easter this year).

My son has a friend who got enough money to fund a movie he wrote and produced...it was pretty good too!

In all instances where I donated, the person who received the funds was NOT the person who started the appeal. I would be VERY wary of someone who just solicited for money for themselves.

Twoaces · ‎05-02-2011

JeanLouise....I agree. Mostly, thought, I am going off topic to say I love your avatar. I remember when you weren't certain about adopting your dog, and now he represents you. Yay!

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

For those who have legitimate requests you know they have to be pretty desperate for help.

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@Golfing Nancy wrote:
JeanLouise....I agree. Mostly, thought, I am going off topic to say I love your avatar. I remember when you weren't certain about adopting your dog, and now he represents you.Yay!

Thanks so much, Nancy! He was a handful in the beginning. The chewing and counter surfing were big frustrations to us. One day the chewing just stopped. Controversial as they are, we did have to resort to an e-collar for the counter surfing and sneaking to eat the cat's food, but he learned quickly. He's really smart and has quite a personality. I am crazy nuts about him and can't imagine my life without him. He's my constant companion and climbs onto my lap when I sit down in the recliner to watch a little tv - all 85 lbs. of him!

I hope all is well with you.