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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,176
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

I had one woman tell me that I looked emaciated. This was years ago when I had worked in an office. I had no idea who she was...we were passing each other in the hall and she looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said, "You look emaciated."

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,895
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: compliment gone awry :(

[ Edited ]

 


@Mominohio wrote:

While I understand one doesn't go up to a woman and ask heweren't  s, to commend someone on looking so much younger or so good for their age is not offensive, when the topic is already in discussion. Period.

 

I'm quite frankly sick and tired of women who are hiding their clothing size or their age. It is what it is. Get over it. They are really hiding nothing, extremely self absorbed and insecure.


A person either looks good or not. To add, for your age, implies that if they were younger they would not look good. It has nothing to do with hiding one's age or size. It's  rude, presumptuous and inappropriate.  Period.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

@Daisy wrote:

I had one woman tell me that I looked emaciated. This was years ago when I had worked in an office. I had no idea who she was...we were passing each other in the hall and she looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said, "You look emaciated."


 

 

And if you'd been quick-thinking (we always think of things long after the fact), you could have replied "and you look constipated."

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,176
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

While bowling with friends when we were in our 20's, there were several guys next to us and one kept looking over at me. It was quite obvious he was checking me out...I heard him ask one of his friends what he thought of me. The guy said, "Not bad." I guess he could have said worse. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

@ChynnaBlue wrote:

Compliments shouldn't come with qualifiers, such as "for your age" or "for a girl," because those aren't really compliments, they sound condescending. Even if you did not actually use the words "for your age," but complimented her only after someone else gave her age, that person already qualified your compliment for you. If you said, "Oh, but you look beautiful" or "I never would have guessed, you look so beautiful/young/etc" that also comes across as meaning "no one your age could expect to be beautiful." If it was right after her husband gave her age, it could also have been interpreted as a pity compliment.


Or maybe she was just having a bad day and it wouldn't have mattered what you said. That can be a factor at any time.


 

Except for the last paragraph of this post being absolutely accurate, the rest is simply ridiculous. Anyone who takes that as condescending or contorts the meaning is the one with the problem, not the OP. I wouldn't loose a minutes sleep worrying that this vain woman's insecurities leads her to be rude, and never apologize for saying something kind that she simply had to make into something it wasn't. People this sensitive need to stay home.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,534
Registered: ‎10-05-2010

@Daisy wrote:

While bowling with friends when we were in our 20's, there were several guys next to us and one kept looking over at me. It was quite obvious he was checking me out...I heard him ask one of his friends what he thought of me. The guy said, "Not bad." I guess he could have said worse. 


 

Reminds me of a time a really tall guy kept looking at me in a bar (I was sitting down).  I guess he didn't want anyone short because he came up and said, "How tall are you?  I noticed your arms are really long."  Gee, thanks?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,077
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Mominohio wrote:

While I understand one doesn't go up to a woman and ask her age, to commend someone on looking so much younger or so good for their age is not offensive, when the topic is already in discussion. Period.

 

I'm quite frankly sick and tired of women who are hiding their clothing size or their age. It is what it is. Get over it. They are really hiding nothing, extremely self absorbed and insecure.


@Mominohio,I would give you ,many hearts for this,if i could.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,488
Registered: ‎04-18-2013

@Daisy wrote:

While bowling with friends when we were in our 20's, there were several guys next to us and one kept looking over at me. It was quite obvious he was checking me out...I heard him ask one of his friends what he thought of me. The guy said, "Not bad." I guess he could have said worse. 


Sounds like the same kind who'd say,

 

"I'd do her".

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,038
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Just throwing this out there:  Sometimes when someone says "So and so looks great for her age", what they mean is "so and so looks younger than her actual age", not, "considering how old so and so is, she looks pretty good."

 

Big difference IMO.  

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Posts: 12,793
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

@freakygirl wrote:

i was at a christmas party last night and there was a lady there who was older than me (i won't mention her age). her husband was the one who mentioned her age, and i was taken aback. she looked great for someone her age, in my estimation of how someone her age would most likely look. she even resembled a celebrity. so i sincerely complimented her, and i was rewarded with a death stare. she then proceeded to get up and walk away. i was dumbfounded, and up until now, i can't understand what i said wrong. i'm old, but my age has never bothered me. 

i guess i should be more careful next time before i compliment someone. Smiley Sad


I would think she was more annoyed at her husband than you. After all, it was he who brought up her age. So you were just following through and said "Wow, you look great for your age." She probably has issues with being the age she is, which is on her, not you.