Why do people think....

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

I guess people figure if you could, you would.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

FrostedC · ‎08-19-2016

Instead of getting upset, I would have been more straight foward. The older I get, the less I like to cook.

Shorty2U · ‎03-09-2010

I get what youre saying and I agree. Just because one doesnt cook doesnt mean they cant. Youre right. I do cook (and so does my husband) but to be honest I hate cooking since Im older after having cooked forever for a family (when my kids were younger). Im just not into it anymore and we go out to eat 2X a week now, because I can cook but Im sick of cooking since Im older (even though its just the 2 of us),..lol.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles

tedEbear · ‎03-22-2015

I say I cook, but I burn. Even water.------tedEbear

PhilaLady1 · ‎03-11-2010

@Chrystaltree2 - I'm the same way as you in that regard. I can cook very well actually. I just don't have the desire to anymore. The shopping, preparing, cooking, serving, eating, cleaning up, etc... what I prefer most from that list is the eating part.

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

@FrostedC wrote:
Instead of getting upset, I would have been more straight foward. The older I get, the less I like to cook.

I thought about saying something like that but I decided to let it pass. If she brings the subject up again, I'll say that.

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

No need to be defensive. All you had to do was tell her that, oh, you can cook but "been there, done that" and prefer it this way. She's just being friendly, it seems, to offer to teach you. I guess it wouldn't occur to me to feel defensive about that because my husband and I both had careers and I was no more responsible for cooking or yard work or anything than he was. So cooking, which I do and enjoy when I'm in the mood, as does he, is not part of my identity! On holidays, if it's the two of us, I like to cook, relax, and have a cozy time, but I like your way of doing things if there's a crowd coming. It's more relaxing at such times to order everything and hang out with friends and family.

GATORGIRL · ‎07-28-2016

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

Just my opinion: Your neighbor may not be a critical thinker but consider giving her the benefit of the doubt and that she meant well. If she brings the subject up again, you might offer her the explanation that you provided in your post, which seemed perfectly logical to me.

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

@PhilaLady1 wrote:
@Chrystaltree2 - I'm the same way as you in that regard. I can cook very well actually. I just don't have the desire to anymore. The shopping, preparing, cooking, serving, eating, cleaning up, etc... what I prefer most from that list that is the eating part.

Exactly! I'm 56 and I actually know a lot of middle age and older women who cooked when we raised our families and enjoyed it but after 25, 30, 40 years or more....the joy is gone...lol I like doing gorgeous tablescapes and I like serving the meal and watching my guests enjoy themselves, I love eating! Hubby helps with the clean up, so I'm ok with that. But the shopping, prepping, cooking.....no, I'm over that...lol Well, almost. I cook a nice birthday dinner for each of my girls, I make all their favorites dishes. They love it. So, I love it.