Re: Why do people think....

MarieIG · ‎03-10-2010

My DH loves to cook and does most of the cooking. I am so tired, I don't enjoy cooking any more except on very rare occasions. It makes no difference to me whether or not people (who don't eat my cooking) think I can cook.

Do the math.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

@Chrystaltree2

I think this was less about her misunderstanding your conversation and a lot more about her seeing an opportunity to demonstrate her skills and teach you something.

With some people, you just can't discuss religion or politics .... I guess with others, you can't discuss cooking! LOL

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

To be a really good cook, I think you have to have some training (whether from books, tv, or mom, or preferably all three), be interested in what you are doing and practice a lot. You need to try out new methods of cooking different products, know how to buy the best ingredients, and how to judge flavor and seasoning levels and, to quote Emeril, take it up a notch.

You can cook, but being a really GOOD or GREAT cook is an entirely different thing. I have always had a passion for cooking and learning about food in general--comes from my Dad!--and you can't just pick up a book and make food that compares to what I and many like me turn out! It is an art as well as a skill.

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

Although I don't have any sort of passion for cooking, I like to know what I'm eating, which is another reason that I do cook. It's not fancy or time-consuming for the mostpart, but I know what's in it and what isn't.

That's important to me.

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

I don't think she was getting in a jab. I think she was projecting what she likes on to the OP and felt bad that the OP couldn't prepare the same Thanksgiving meal as she could. Perhaps to her, she couldn't imagine ordering takeout for a holiday meal and feels badly that others "have" to do that because they can't cook. In reality she doesn't realize some people want to get takeout rather than cook the meal, even though they can.

I personally cannot fathom going out to dinner for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve or Christmas. I have always said that I would stay home and eat a PB&J sandwich before I would do that. I grew up with the big family meal being cooked on those days and that was always a part of the fun of the holiday.

As @Sooner said, I think there is an art to truly cooking that needs to be taught. I know how to prepare food and follow a recipe. I don't truly know how to cook meaning I don't know what spices, herbs, etc. go good together. I wouldn't be good at coming up with my own creations/dishes. That to me is being a good cook.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Daisy wrote:
I think she was getting in a jab. You had already told her that you know how to cook, but didn't want to.

You should have said, "What part of "I know how to cook, but I don't want to" don't you understand?" LOL

She was probably insinuating that you were being lazy or really didn't know how to cook. She probably covered up that insinuation by offering to teach you how to cook...as if ordering from a restaurant and bakery is such a lazy, low-class thing to do.

I have to say that although several interpretations are possible, this is the one that I immediately came to upon reading the OP as a gut reaction, though I wasn't there to hear tone & see body language, which matters.

One of my pet peeves is people who either *do not listen* or who hear, deliberately ignore, and go on about their merry way with their own "what I know they really meant but didn't say" interpretation.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

I don't know about her but the only people I know that buy pre-packeged/pre-cooked meals (especially for the holidays) are those who don't know how to cook. I"m sure there are exceptions but the thing is: I don't ask. The info is offered up to me by the person.

"I"m going to bring XYZ/do XYZ for Thanksgiving. I can't cook, I don't want to learn so this what they get for asking me to bring XYZ".

or

"I hate to cook so I'm bringing XYZ to Xmas." Pause...."Actually, I don't know how so this is easier than learning".

THAT'S what I hear.

And honestly? I don't care.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
I don't think she was getting in a jab. I think she was projecting what she likes on to the OP and felt bad that the OP couldn't prepare the same Thanksgiving meal as she could. Perhaps to her, she couldn't imagine ordering takeout for a holiday meal and feels badly that others "have" to do that because they can't cook. In reality she doesn't realize some people want to get takeout rather than cook the meal, even though they can.

I personally cannot fathom going out to dinner for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve or Christmas. I have always said that I would stay home and eat a PB&J sandwich before I would do that. I grew up with the big family meal being cooked on those days and that was always a part of the fun of the holiday.

The thing is, many people have not experienced years of huge happy family celebrations. Some were poor, some had broken families, some had no family. Some came from families that didn't cook much, some came from families where there was always tension in the kitchen and/or at holidays with family so don't always connect it with warmth and family and great home-cooked meals.

Everyone doesn't have the same experiences and expectations and I think that should be respected even if not related to (not saying you aren't respectful). It's understandable not to be able to relate, but tacky to behave as if everyone who didn't live like the Cleavers are freaks (again, not saying you are doing this).

Life without Mexican food is no life at all