•••Why We Hold Grudges & How To Let Them Go••• - Page 2

newziesuzie · ‎02-21-2014

Hi @Burnsite!

Maybe we need a definition of "grudges"

from an expert which I'm not lol! I think a

grudge is something people keep bringing up

and mentioning and letting it affect their

life in a way that hurts them and also people around

them can't help but notice it keeps coming

up too.

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newziesuzie · ‎02-21-2014

There's a perpetual "victimhood" that goes with

actual grudges imho.

••• Please adopt don't shop ••• Save a life adopt a pet •••

SydneyH · ‎03-10-2010

I don't subscribe to anything in that blurb. There's usually a compelling reason someone has a 'grudge' imo.

RoughDraft · ‎03-09-2010

Carrying around grudges just gives the perpetrator more power over one's life.

~The only difference between this place and the Titanic is that the Titanic had a band.~

Karnerblue · ‎03-18-2015

@newziesuzie, thanks for posting. This was a whole new perspective.

"Never water yourself down just because someone can't handle you 100% proof."

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

@baker wrote:
People who are supposed to care about you should not be doing things to you cause you to be holding grudges. Friends who I have to worry about giging me are not really friends and family who slight me or treat me badly I have no time for. I think people who let others treat them badly think they deserve it. I also think if you allow others to treat you badly they think you don't mind their bad behavior or that you are used to abuse.

@blackhole99 I completely agree. Unfortunately, sometimes when we are younger we can be naive and it's hard to accept that your own family does not have your best interest at heart. In my case, other family members kept advocating on their behalf.

However, I'm at the point where I agree with you that I have no time for anyone that mistreats me regardless of who they are. I've already told my family that is the case. I'm done so please respect my decision to keep a distance and stop minimizing what they do.

~Live with Intention~

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

While it can take time, we have to forgive others. Forgiveness is for us, not the other person. My faith is very important to me and I finally realized that "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" is true...that we'l be judged the same way we judge others and that includes holding grudges, not forgiving others, etc.

It's not easy to forgive. And it takes time depending on the situation. But we can work toward it.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

Grudges are often very, very hard to let go. And they get heavier and heavier to carry the longer we hold on to them.

I admit that this is a fault of mine. When I get hurt by someone or something, I will often think or say to myself -- well, I will let it go --- but I don't always do so. From the outward appearance, I have. But I am still holding on to it inside.

This does not much harm really to the one you are holding the grudge against but certainly does a lot of damage to you!!!

Also, it give that person power over you --- way more than they deserve, and way more importance than they deserve. When I find myself grudge holding, I try to remember this. Are they worth it? Are they worth this power over you? And the answer is --- No!!!

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

PINKdogWOOD · ‎05-13-2010

Grudges - to hold or not to hold.

Honestly I've had a few things that have happened to me or someome (including my own mother) have said to me that I could have had a grudge with. My take is, I don't hold a grudge but I will never forget what that was, who said what. The one that hurt me the most was one sunny day growing up, in front of my two sisters my mother said something to me that was like a knife through my heart - in front of my two sisters. My father never found out what she said to me. He would not have been pleased. I've carried it with me and still think about it to this very day.

I don't have time in my life to hold grudges. I have bigger fish to fry.

straykatz · ‎03-09-2010

I have seen a few family members take their grudges to their graves.....and I wonder if they had any regrets over all the years of missed events and opportunities because they could not set aside their grudge for an afternoon or so.

The downside to grudges....especially within familes is the fact that everyone else gets pulled one way or the other and often shunned if you don't take a side. It's a control game aand in the few cases of lifelong grudges that I have seen each of them were very controlling individuals and when the control was taken out of their hands in certain situations then a grudge was formed to maintain their control.