Community Chat

[Jordan2]

I take care of my elderly mother who is 88 years old. She worked most of her adult life as a salesgirl and then in customer service with a freight company. She knows how to speak to people and is friendly. Now she has her senior moments at times but still has her faculties. Heck, I'm a lot younger than she is and I have to write things down or I can forget! Anyway whenever we go to the doctor or in a store people will speak to me like she's not there! If someone calls on the phone about her, they will ask to speak to me. They are assuming that she doesn't know what's going on and has nothing to offer, but she does. I will at times tell them to ask her themselves. It hurts my heart to have her treated this way. I always enjoy speaking to an elderly person and I would say for the most part they enjoy it too. People should be more considerate. One day they will be elderly, I only hope they won't be treated the same.

[Cakers3]

This is sad.  Reminds me of the John Prine song "Hello in There"

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello."

So if you're walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes,
Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello."

[Preds]

@Jordan2 ... That is the way it is.  Why?  I have no answer for you.  I find the same things happening to me and I just look over to my mother and let her answer people.   When they look back at me ... I just smile. 

I admit that I've been guilty of doing the same thing.  Sometimes people just don't know and they need the assistance of the person with an elderly to know.

[orange]

This has happened with my mom and I as well - she's fully capable of answering for herself but they will direct questions to me. We choose doctors who are 'in tune' with how to speak to the elderly. Any sign of 'well she must be unable to understand' and we're outta there!

[Snowpuppy]

If you live with her and someone calls for her just say "oh one moment, you want (mom's name), I'll get her...."

If mom is having difficulty, you can always step in. She can maintain her dignity instead of being treated like a child.

[Burnsite]

Jordan, I haven't read the whole thread, but try to find better doctors. They swear an oath to help people and not harm them and they should keep their word.

Some are better than others with older folks.  Some doctors see "illnesses" and "age" and "diseases" but  others see "people."  That's what you need to find for your sweet mother.

[Tique]

Whenever I used to accompany my grandmother to appointments, as soon as the person she was meeting with entered the room, I would introduce my grandmother and tell him/her that she was the patient/client and that I was there as her support person. If they still insisted on directing things to me, I would remind them - this time not so gently - that they needed to speak directly to her. 

[SusieQ_2]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

This is sad.  Reminds me of the John Prine song "Hello in There"

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello."

So if you're walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes,
Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello."

---

You taught me something with this post! I always thought that was a Joan Baez song. She does a great cover.

In case anyone wants to listen (of course there will probably be an ad first) ~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhMCKOwPVDs

[CatsyCline]

medical practioners do not have a lot of time to spend with patients. they talk loud, enunciate and seem brusque with older people.seems to happen at the drugstores too.

  i have seen this with my own mother who is 85.  she lives on her owm, drives, does her grocery shopping and  is fairly alert and can speak for herself, but she has an accent. that throws off the medical practitioner, throws the receptionist,  anything medically related when they call on the phone. THEY THINK there is a language barrier and they have also said that there is a language barrier directly to me.  i told them, No, she understands everything. They think because English is not her first language that she cannot understand them . she can understand everyone quite well and speak,  read and write English.  she came here when she was 23. the one thing she did not do is practice to lose her accent . but that makes her unique

[Cakers3]

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

---

@Cakers3 wrote:

This is sad.  Reminds me of the John Prine song "Hello in There"

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello."

So if you're walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes,
Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello."

---

You taught me something with this post! I always thought that was a Joan Baez song. She does a great cover.

In case anyone wants to listen (of course there will probably be an ad first) ~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhMCKOwPVDs

---

@SusieQ_2  Bette Midler also covered on her Divine Miss M album  Powerful song with such simple lyrics.  John Prine was very young when he wrote it.

Sorry for the off topic and sending everyone {{{hugs}}} for their elderly parents.