Re: What would you do about this Birthday Party pr... - Page 5

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

Ask her if it would matter if the party isn't at her house and go from there. Sounds like her husband is more invested in a party than is she. It's her birthday, afterall, not his...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

If your Mom has already said she doesn't want a party, then that settles it right there.

I wouldn't have anything to do with this actually, I'd stay 100 miles away from this.

I wouldn't say anything to your Mother. Sounds like she just wants to be left alone.

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

Do what she wants and says not what anyone else wants for her.

My Grandmother loved her 80th birthday party, but she knew weeks in advance and got to plan it with us. Such a big blow out with friends and family driving in from all over. She certainly held "court" but was so very tired when it was over and not another party was held for her remaining 8 years of birthdays. The whole party was great fun for her. We did only what she wanted and when she wanted it.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Why not just ask her how she would like to celebrate her birthday? Offer suggestions and allow her to decide.

There are people who force food, insist you try it, or that you dance, or perform, or play...all of them lack manners and then wonder why they are avoided. Forcing a party is no different.

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

Your stepdad has no clue the amount of work it would for your mother to have them stay at their house. Men don't...and I doubt he even thinks about it. He would be glowing at pulling this off but what really is his contribution?

Doesn't sound like much of a party for her at all...just more to do when she doesn't always feel well and more like a way for him to see his kids.

They need to stay in a hotel and then go to a restaurant for it to really be a party for your mother.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

First paragraph says it all!!! Let him buy her flowers. Let her NO be NO. Respect her wishes. He doesn't care if you get in trouble, that's a "control" move, and NO NO NO.

@mima

mima · ‎03-14-2010

@qualitygal wrote:
First paragraph says it all!!! Let him buy her flowers. Let her NO be NO. Respect her wishes. He doesn't care if you get in trouble, that's a "control" move, and NO NO NO.
@mima

@qualitygal Actually he is VERY controlling with everyone. My mom used to be independent, but he has slowly taken that away from her through the years.

I didn't think about this issue being controlling until you said it. You are right.

Thank you for your insight.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Oh wow! Good call on the 'control' thing. He seems to have successfully gained control over her and now he's trying to control you by pushing this onto you, against her wishes.

mima · ‎03-14-2010

@chickenbutt @qualitygal

There have been a few times he tried to control me concerning big issues like finance. That didn't work. We had "words" about it. Our finances were none of his business and we got into it a few times verbally. I didn't see this party thing as controlling until qualitygal brought it up.

She used to buy things and pay her own bills. Now he does all the shopping/buying. He has total control over the money, etc. She just does as he says. I never thought she'd be this way. But he wear her down and is ALWAYS right.