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Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Very Difficult Situation

Since it is not you who is pregnant it is best to MYOB , and you certainly seem to have enough issues of your own to keep you occupied.

I certainly know what I'd do if my 13 year old child was pregnant.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,660
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Very Difficult Situation

Not quite sure what advice you are looking for.  Do you see these relatives often?  I most certainly would not be giving them any advice or thoughts unless the family specifically asked for it.  Certainly not a situation that you should be inserting yourself into unless requested to do so.  Obviously a charge of statutory rape could be brought against the male involved but of course the family would need to notify the authorities of the situation for them to get involved.  Perhaps they do not wish to do that.  

Super Contributor
Posts: 399
Registered: ‎02-27-2015

Re: Very Difficult Situation

What this family probably needs the most right now is POSITIVE support. You don't know their plans for their daughter, the baby, the father. 

 

If I was in this position, I would NOT want to hear 'my heart is broken', 'I'm in shock', 'this is awful', etc. They know this is a difficult situation. What they need is positive thoughts and prayer. Otherwise, MYOB is in order. And please don't gossip about this, that could wreck your relationship with the family.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,607
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: Very Difficult Situation

OP, Just a few words of wisdom....MYOB. Woman Happy

"Pure Michigan"
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Very Difficult Situation

[ Edited ]

O/p, you have admitted that you have enough problems of your own.

 

You do not need to be taking on more.

 

Your job is not to solve the world's problems.

 

I have a feeling that somewhere inside, you are dreaming of being this baby's "auntie", or maybe even adopting it yourself, so that you can have the little family that you have always wanted.

 

Bottom line, stay out of it.

 

It doesn't concern you.

 

Let them deal with it their own way.

 

Yes, they have a lot to deal with, but it isn't your job to try and "fix" it.

 

If anything, just listen, but say nothing.

 

Keep your mouth shut.

 

Concentrate on your own life.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,039
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Very Difficult Situation

If this isn't a clear cut case of rape, I don't know what would qualify.  You probably shouldn't be sharing this and telling others to 'think twice', this isn't a closed or private forum.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Very Difficult Situation


@SydneyH wrote:

If this isn't a clear cut case of rape, I don't know what would qualify.  You probably shouldn't be sharing this and telling others to 'think twice', this isn't a closed or private forum.


 

 

 

Agreed. Once a thread is posted, it is out of the author's hands as to the responses that they will get. And to try and "dictate" that people should "think twice" before responding?

 

Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

 

The author doesn't get to tell people how they should respond.

 

If they don't like the responses that they might get, then don't post it in the first place.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: Very Difficult Situation

[ Edited ]

The best thing that you can do is be there for your friend.  I am sure that every emotion is going through that family.  You might just need to be a sounding board for your friend and maybe even her daughter.

 

As far as charging the young man, I always feel that these situatons have a lot of blame to go around.  Was this a new "boyfriend"?  Did the parents know about him?  Did this young girl portray herself as older?  I know that it is hard to imagine a young teen looking 4 or 5 years older, but sometimes that happens with makeup and outfits.  It is getting harder and harder to tell ages.  I personally can attest to being that age and making myself look much older and adults were fooled.

 

Just be a good friend.  Like everything, it will work itself out.

 

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,138
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Very Difficult Situation

I am puzzled at the remarks some of you are making,to the op.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,504
Registered: ‎05-22-2014

Re: Very Difficult Situation

I think @@Kachina said it best.

 

In a situation like this, the most I would say is "This has to be a difficult time for you.  Is there anything I can do to help you?"

 

I do hope this family seeks professional counseling.