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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,180
Registered: ‎04-30-2012

Such a Sad story, had to vent

Some may have read about it in the news the past couple of days. A Husband and wife along with 3 of their 6 children were on the highway, he supposedly forced her to get in the car. She had asked him for a divorce. The 2 little boys  (ages 2 and 3) were in the back, Mom was in the front holding her 8 month old son. She managed to jump out of the car ( I think he had slowed down for some reason, all facts are still not clear) He told her he would kill her and as she tried to get away, he shot at her missing the mom but hitting the baby. The baby died. There was a Amber alert as safety for the 2 boys was a big concern but he apparently dropped them off at his mom's home. After a night's search for him, he turned himself in.  This is such a horrific crime and I hope he never see's the light of day ever again. This guy had a history of crimes, had been wanted for a parole violation since 2013. He had a previous 18 year prison sentence from a few years back but had been released after 6 months in prison. I have a 7 month old grandson who is healthy and happy, laughs out loud and is a very busy boy. My heart just breaks for that mother. I just get emotional thinking of this awful crime, just had to vent and thanks for reading my post.   

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think.  Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them.  You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent


@hoosieroriginal wrote:

Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think.  Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them.  You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!


I expect you to get hammered for this, but it is more true than anyone would suspect.

 

A lifetime with an abuser, if a woman chooses to stay is her choice, but to bring kids into the world with someone who has the long history of problems this guy does, is giving her kids a death sentence as well.

 

Women have to make better decisions about who they have children with, and if circumstances change, it is top priority to get the kids out of danger, before things go this far. 

 

How very sad for this tiny baby, who wasn't given a chance, because adults did stupid things.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,656
Registered: ‎06-09-2010

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

This is such a sad story and sorry the children had to be used as hostages. What I will never understand is why you would marry and bear children with such a violent man. If you want to marry him and put your own life in danger that is your choice.Why bring children into this environment. I will never understand why people think they can rehabilitate a criminal. I hope the children will be ok. This will leave a bad memory for them. I am sorry the baby was killed. Where is common sense in our society??

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

This is a weird connection.

I just read where he abandoned the car...

in Ferguson...in the same complex where another

highly publicized Ferguson crime occurred.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,415
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Domestic violence cases are the most difficult to work with and through.  The abuser has such a hold on the victim.....I worked with a woman who filed for divorce from her husband.  He came into the medical center just as we were going to transfer her to a safe house......oy!  He was so mad at her and me.......we barricaded ourselves in my office until the police arrived......she went back to him....eventually. Very sad.  It's usually a lose - lose situation sad to say.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,570
Registered: ‎09-13-2012

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

[ Edited ]

That's a reminder for women who know their hubands might react with violence not to announce that they are leaving.  It's better to plan your escape carefully for when he's not around.  If you really think there might be violence, call the local police before you leave and ask for advice.  Even if you have to hire a police detail to escort you, it's worth it.  My sister went out with a total nut who stalked her for years.  She had to hire police to guard her at the church on her wedding day.  I recognized this guy as a nut the minute I met him.  I remember it vividly to this day.  I told family members he was crazy, but no one would listen.  It seemed obvious to me.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,665
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

It's my belief that these types of men pick their women very carefully.  They look for the vulnerable, needy types.  In the beginning, they often treat them like queens, showering them with gifts.  That's how they break down any barriers and gain control over the unsuspecting girl or woman.  The best thing any girl can do to prevent being a victim is to exhibit strength.

Laura loves cats!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,570
Registered: ‎09-13-2012

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

[ Edited ]

@2blonde wrote:

It's my belief that these types of men pick their women very carefully.  They look for the vulnerable, needy types.  In the beginning, they often treat them like queens, showering them with gifts.  That's how they break down any barriers and gain control over the unsuspecting girl or woman.  The best thing any girl can do to prevent being a victim is to exhibit strength.


I think there's something to what you say.  My sister is a very strong person, but she hasn't been without a man for a single week since age 13.  If she broke up with one, she'd have the next one within hours or at most days.  There was one boy in high school who had always been in love with her.  When she broke up with her boyfriend (now her husband of 36 years), she started kissing up to him, presumably to make boyfriend #1 jealous.  The poor sap was dropped in a nanosecond when she reconciled. 

 

She certainly knows how to charm men, so I don't know why she put up with this loser who wasn't good looking, had no money, and was a jealous nut.  Her now husband and I spent a couple of years trying to get her back together with him.  She finally dropped the loser for her now-husband, a college athlete who was sane, good looking, and going somewhere in life.  He later told me things she'd told him about how the jealous nut acted.  I never told her or anyone about it because I knew she'd be furious.  I knew he was crazy, but I had no idea how bad he really was.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,875
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent


@hoosieroriginal wrote:

Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think.  Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them.  You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!


Well said.