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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,755
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

I can definitively say "yes" I want to know. I am a home health nurse and have been with many people throughout the dying process. I do not want unnecessary treatment, I want to say my goodbye's and have my family and friends feel comfortable talking to me. I have a friend who had stage 4 colon cancer and she thought she would live, her chemo treatments were $28,000 a month, she lived 9 months, sick from chemo. I am never going to do that. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

I don't necessarily need to know - bc I've already had my wakeup call - in February 2017, I will be 5 years cancer free.  My mother died from the disease over 40 years ago and I had been strongly monitored since I was 18.   Though it was verified that it was cancer, it took close to 7 weeks for the pathology results to come back - bc my tumor was tiny and extremely aggressive and the doctors were shocked bc I was end stage IIIc. 

 

I had two surgeries, 8 chemo sessions,37 radiation treatments and I'm now on hormone therapy to prevent a recurrence.  From that point forward I am that person who has literally lived EVERY day as if it were my last.  I've done a LOT of travlling to see/do things on my bucket list bc when my time comes, it's too late to whine about what I coulda/shoulda/woulda done!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,104
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

I absolutely would want to know.  I am also someone who does NOT ever want to lose my independence because of age.  I don't think negative of anyone wanting to live to be 100.  I just don't want to be one of them. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,997
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?


@Ms X wrote:

@Trinity11 wrote:

My doctor pulled no punches. I had a heart attack ten days ago. There was a delay to the Cath lab until Monday where I was transported to a major hospital had 3 stents and a balloon. I am now in heart failure/congestive heart failure all because of the delay. I was put on aspirin, drugs and morphine but time is muscle and the damage was already done by the time I got to the other hospital and got the procedure.

 

I went from an active woman loving life to someone that can't walk 3 feet without becoming breathless. The prognosis he claims is guarded. Stage 3 is very scary but I need to know my future. So yes, the truth allows me to celebrate life and appreciate every day.


I hope your rehab goes well, Trinity.  It doesn't hurt to get a second opinion.  My mother is alive today because she was in a hospital waiting for Monday when my doctor sister called a cardiac surgeon she knew on his cell.  He was at the mall and went directly to her hospital.  My mother was transferred and got the angioplasty that weekend.  Look at the former vice president, ****** Cheney.  He had his first heart attack at 39 and is now I think in his 70s.  I wish you all the best.  Don't give up.


 

Mr. Cheney did have a heart transplant.  That is the reason he is doing so well now.

 

Hyacinth

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,189
Registered: ‎01-04-2016

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

I would want to know because I'm a fighter and it would become my mission to beat the odds.  If it's my time to go it will be my time to go and not from self fullfiling prohecy or morose suggestion from a negative doctor who doesn't care about body, mind, and spirit.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,242
Registered: ‎01-27-2015

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

Yes, I would want to know so I could be sure to leave this world knowing my son will be okay. I would want to get everything in some kind of order. I worry about my son being unable to handle the grief if I go suddenly.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

NativeJax - I have no kids so I can't relate to that part of your post; however, my mother died at the age of 46 (cancer) and from that point forward my father put his "affairs in order" and never looked back. 

 

Not sure how old your son is but one of the things that helped myself and my 3 siblings tremendously, from the point my mother died,  my father made sure to get a will and he made sure we all knew where that will was located and what it contained.  My sister and I were co-executors and every year he'd spend a few minutes to let us know if he had moved any of his money among different accounts, life insurance, beneficiaries, etc.  My father lived another 40 years after my mom - and every other year  he'd update a sheet showing what he had in assets and what financial institution they were now located.  When he died, we were all griefstricken it helped that there were absolutely NO surprises about anything with regard to his estate.  When it was time to close my father's estate, it was so simple. 

 

Your son will be griefstricken but keeping/leaving good records with no surprises is the best gift you can leave your son!! 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,401
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

This is hard for me to write, but Jan 22nd of this year, I went into Cardiac Arrest at home and passed out, luckily by the grace of god my husband was home and found me, when the paramedics came, they told my husband we don't think she is going to make it, and I was actually pronounced dead, my husband kept screaming keep trying, she's too young keep trying and for some reason they did and after 7 minuites they were able to get my heart going again, and they rushed me to the hospital, where I was in for over a week, 4 days in ICU,I am doing really good now, but it was a long road back, so I would have to say YES I would like to know, because all I kept thinking about was if I would have died, I didn't get a chance to talk to my daughters, grandchildre, mother and husband and siblings. Because of this and how fast it all happened, I decided I a going to write a letter to each of my daughters, and each of my granchildren and my husband and mom. My youngest daughter was pregnant at the time and I wouldn't have been able to meet my newst beautiful granddaughter, so now when I see her-she is a month old, I tell her I am so glad god gave me another chance at life and to meet her!Ok I have to end this now as I am crying. but good tears this time! 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,558
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?

When my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 1998, the doctor told her she had no time and that was it.  He did it in front of my sister, who, when I got to the hospital, was crying.  My mother was stunned.  The doctor didn't even tell my father - he just went right in to the room.  His theory was that she deserved to know.  The team in fact repeated to her for another day that she was dying, and it took me telling one of the doctors that we were going to sue him and the rest of his team if he didn't stop it.  Would I want to know?  Probably not, but I am alone so I need to know, to get eveything in order.  By the way, my mother lasted 22 days after diagnosis, and she was in emotional misery, even asking for Dr. Kevorkian at one point. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,358
Registered: ‎02-21-2014

Re: RE: Terminal Illness - Would you want to hear the truth from your doctor?


@CANDLEQUEEN wrote:

This is hard for me to write, but Jan 22nd of this year, I went into Cardiac Arrest at home and passed out, luckily by the grace of god my husband was home and found me, when the paramedics came, they told my husband we don't think she is going to make it, and I was actually pronounced dead, my husband kept screaming keep trying, she's too young keep trying and for some reason they did and after 7 minuites they were able to get my heart going again, and they rushed me to the hospital, where I was in for over a week, 4 days in ICU,I am doing really good now, but it was a long road back, so I would have to say YES I would like to know, because all I kept thinking about was if I would have died, I didn't get a chance to talk to my daughters, grandchildre, mother and husband and siblings. Because of this and how fast it all happened, I decided I a going to write a letter to each of my daughters, and each of my granchildren and my husband and mom. My youngest daughter was pregnant at the time and I wouldn't have been able to meet my newst beautiful granddaughter, so now when I see her-she is a month old, I tell her I am so glad god gave me another chance at life and to meet her!Ok I have to end this now as I am crying. but good tears this time! 


 

((((((((( @CANDLEQUEEN )))))))

Thank you for sharing this.

Im glad you're ok.

❤️

 


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