Community Chat

[JaneMarple]

It has been pointed out on this very thread that there are posters who can't stand criticism and does not know the art of a true debate but  will declare that they're being attacked when anyone disagrees with them and has a difference of opinion! 

[Moonchilde]

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Then there are the times when certain posters make it a hobby to go after another poster. I have experienced and seen it happen to others.Of course they will deny it as no one wants to get caught. Hence the the title to this thread.....Personal Vendettas

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@Nancy Drew, my take on commenting across the forums (and not regarding anything or anyone in this thread) is that I express my opinion when I feel like it, and that when I post I'm never trying to change anyone's mind, debate or "win" a conversation, or be "right." I just don't care. I had no desire to be a member of the campus debating society, nor do I to this day.

But there are several to quite a few posters who by their make-up DO feel that every subject is a debate to be argued "right" or "wrong", and they strive to "win", insist to others they are "wrong" because "the facts are ..." etc. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to participate in and enjoying a good debate - when both parties agree it IS a semi-formal "debate." I see it carried out here successfully once in a while.  But this is a shopping channel discussion board.  Debating in and of itself is not inherent to such a discussion board; in fact, the very fact that the forums are moderated such as they are somewhat discourages "debate."

There will always be those who need the structure and the "win"; the "triumph" if you will. There will also always be those who really don't care; they give their opinion, don't care whether others like it, and don't feel the need to justify it up the wazoo.

I will never apologize, or be made to feel less intelligent, less informed, or a "loser" just because I refuse to debate someone on a forum that by its nature and creation has nothing to do with debates and little to do (purposefully by QVC) with contentious current events.

If you don't enjoy debating and don't want to participate, don't. Just tell the other party you don't care to debate. They may try to make you feel dumb, a coward, unworthy, etc. and proclaim they've "won." You've cheated them out of a debate, after all, they have to claim something about you. And if they keep it up in other discussions across the forums, keep making plain that you have no wish to be their debate opponent, have a nice day and I Don't Give a...Darn ;-)

And keep on truckin'

[sophiamarie]

I once reminded a poster of something she said in a previous thread - maybe a day or two earlier, and she accused me of "documenting" her posts.    She does this quite often with others too.  She's paranoid.  Another one who tells the story of her life and then gets testy when someone reminds her that she said the complete opposite in another post.

Sometimes, if not most times, it's a good idea to keep family business to yourself because sooner or later, you are going to forget what you said and tell another story.

[JaneMarple]

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@sophiamarie wrote:

I once reminded a poster of something she said in a previous thread - maybe a day or two earlier, and she accused me of "documenting" her posts.    She does this quite often with others too.  She's paranoid.  Another one who tells the story of her life and then gets testy when someone reminds her that she said the complete opposite in another post.

Sometimes, if not most times, it's a good idea to keep family business to yourself because sooner or later, you are going to forget what you said and tell another story.

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@sophiamarie wrote:

I once reminded a poster of something she said in a previous thread - maybe a day or two earlier, and she accused me of "documenting" her posts.    She does this quite often with others too.  She's paranoid.  Another one who tells the story of her life and then gets testy when someone reminds her that she said the complete opposite in another post.

Sometimes, if not most times, it's a good idea to keep family business to yourself because sooner or later, you are going to forget what you said and tell another story.

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@sophiamarie spot on!

[silentgirl]

Every forum has its quirks and like others, I’ve taken part in some pretty intense forums, with relatively inflexible, remorseless posters, but, there have always been good people among them, as here, who have managed to appear when they’ve been needed-attempting in some way to forge a way or gently guide toward a better understanding-

I think it was you @Moonchilde  (hope you’re feeling a bit better) who spoke to the "clumsy" (that's a good word) and “obvious” aspect of the actions of some- I think there are those who can be unmistakably shameless in the chase-but the deliberateness is palpable.

There is a tendency of some to clearly rummage around posts, extracting something so inane as to be almost meaningless- that it’s missed by most, then quote it and comment on it as though it has some profound value- is bent toward tragic- I think at that point, whatever power they might have believed they had has been lost for them- And I do find myself entirely amused-

I rarely engage with any individual I believe to be baiting-I don’t like my time wasted-I share my thoughts and move on-

Additionally, some posters may just have a very succinct writing style that is easily misconstrued when unfamiliar-though easily differentiated-Others are just enjoyable to engage-they write well-they’re kind, they’ve good intellect and can be witty, and feisty and very entertaining-

Admittedly, no matter where I am, I’m a believer that Sun Tzu has a place.

[JaneMarple]

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@silentgirl wrote:

Every forum has its quirks and like others, I’ve taken part in some pretty intense forums, with relatively inflexible, remorseless posters, but, there have always been good people among them, as here, who have managed to appear when they’ve been needed-attempting in some way to forge a way or gently guide toward a better understanding-

I think it was you @Moonchilde  (hope you’re feeling a bit better) who spoke to the "clumsy" (that's a good word) and “obvious” aspect of the actions of some- I think there are those who can be unmistakably shameless in the chase-but the deliberateness is palpable.

There is a tendency of some to clearly rummage around posts, extracting something so inane as to be almost meaningless- that it’s missed by most, then quote it and comment on it as though it has some profound value- is bent toward tragic- I think at that point, whatever power they might have believed they had has been lost for them- And I do find myself entirely amused-

I rarely engage with any individual I believe to be baiting-I don’t like my time wasted-I share my thoughts and move on-

Additionally, some posters may just have a very succinct writing style that is easily misconstrued when unfamiliar-though easily differentiated-Others are just enjoyable to engage-they write well-they’re kind, they’ve good intellect and can be witty, and feisty and very entertaining-

Admittedly, no matter where I am, I’m a believer that Sun Tzu has a place.

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OMG @silentgirl, The Art of War  by Sun Tzu is sitting on my coffee table right now!

[skuggles]

I think there are threads that bring out a lot of , and       it's not serving any purpose other than fueling the fires in other posters unnecessarily, but people seem to really need to do it. Or is there more?  hmmm LOL

[silentgirl]

“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.” Sun Tzu 

Big smile-I never get tired of it  @JaneMarple 

Best wishes..

(edited for font size)

[Moonchilde]

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@sophiamarie wrote:

I once reminded a poster of something she said in a previous thread - maybe a day or two earlier, and she accused me of "documenting" her posts.    She does this quite often with others too.  She's paranoid.  Another one who tells the story of her life and then gets testy when someone reminds her that she said the complete opposite in another post.

Sometimes, if not most times, it's a good idea to keep family business to yourself because sooner or later, you are going to forget what you said and tell another story.

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@sophiamarie, that behavior, and not just by a single poster but several, is part and parcel of these forums and Standard Operating Procedure for some.You just have to eyeroll, shake your head, and give the behavior the attention it's worth, i.e. not much ;-)

[SydneyH]

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@SharkE wrote:

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I agree.

Think how much energy that takes to hold a grudge for yrs and yrs when the other person has probably forgot about whatever it was in first place. LOL

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I don't have time for grudges, but I do remember people that are still here that never miss an opportunity to attempt their lame digs at my posts, most of the time......I'm not even responding to them directly, lol.