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03-20-2017 01:54 AM
Thank you, @silentgirl, I am better than a couple of days ago, for sure :-)
I agree with your post wholeheartedly.
03-20-2017 05:44 PM - edited 03-20-2017 06:06 PM
PurpleBunny wrote:"There are some who, once they learn your vulnerability, will remember it and use it against you."
Ain't that the sad truth! I learned that the hard way. I always try to remember that it takes a really warped, pathetic person to get their rocks off that way. Consider the source and feel sorry for them. They are miserable people.
@PurpleBunny, I also think it's a good reminder that "hurt people hurt people." We get criticized and laughed at for what some like to categorize as psychobabble sometimes, but there's some sound, common-sense conventional wisdom behind some observations like this one. People who have been wounded sometimes strike out at others... and I don't think all of them are aware they're doing it.
03-20-2017 05:49 PM
Catwhisperer wrote:@MRSTH....I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but I just wanted to say that I have had a most enjoyable afternoon posting with all you nice ladies. I appreciate all the comments and opinions, as you all have given me food for thought, so I thank you all.
@catwhisperer, I think it's been beneficial, overall, too. It helps to see others' observations, reactions, and read about their experiences and insight. To me, it shows us how much we have in common rather than "in difference." I do hope @ILTH, or anyone else who feels negative vibes here, will find a way to be comfortable rejoining us. But, of course, I think everyone understands that it's a personal choice and there's no "right" answer for everyone.
03-20-2017 05:49 PM
@dooBdoo, I think they're very aware of what they're doing.
I've often felt the ones that lash out the most have no voice in real life. This is their only outlet.
03-20-2017 05:55 PM
JaneMarple wrote:@Noel7 There has been times throughout the years that I wanted to ask questions or share experiences but I've seen what happens to those who do. What starts out innocently enough gets twisted, challenged until the subject is not recognized any longer.
The last really moving thread that touched my heart and contained no disrespectful posts, was the one that several women admitted losing a child and all of the responses were sympathetic and beautiful to read.
@JaneMarple, I agree with you. Also, I believe the thread you reference in your second paragraph might be @ Lotus' heartbreaking, beautifully touching, sensitive thread. (Still thinking of you, (((Lotus))).❤️) That's a testament to the compassion and understanding that sometimes blossoms here and shows us we truly can be a supportive community.
03-20-2017 06:05 PM
@cody2 wrote:My best friend on earth ,who is now gone, taught me that to have good friends I had to BE a good friend. She shared her secret which was to make myself vulnerable to my friends and to trust that they would never use that vulnerability against me. She was right and I have been grateful for that lesson and will be for the rest of my life. The ones that break that trust aren't your real friends but that doesn't matter. It is their loss. While that might not work on a broad spectrum like this board...I still respect those that have the courage to share who they are, if they choose to. And YOU doobs could be a good friend of mine. I am certain that your enrich your real life friends just as you do ours on this board. Hugs
@dooBdoo wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:All very well said, as usual, dooB!
My only departure is that I do sometimes discuss personal things, but I feel like I only do so when in context and/or when I feel like it may help somebody else to not feel like they're alone. But that's just me and I certainly wouldn't expect it of others.
Even with all I have shared, it's the tip of the iceberg so I don't feel uncomfortable about it. I like to try and be helpful and sometimes my experiences, I'd surely hope, might help somebody else feel better.
As to registration dates - weird how they made all of us March 9 or 10 of 2010. I cannot remember my original one here but it was between 2004 and 2005.
Thanks, chickie! I do share some personal info now and then when I think it might help. I'm glad you, and others, do that... often it can help someone get through a bad time and that makes it worth it.
@cody2, Oh, my gosh, what a wonderful compliment, and you humble me. I had to stop a moment... with a few tears of gratitude in my eyes. You've had a special place in my heart for a long, long time, and I hope we can, indeed, be assured we're friends. I'm deeply sorry your best friend isn't here on this earth with you, but guaranteed she's a part of you, she lives on in you and in your generous, compassionate spirit. You're a real gem. Thanks, again. (((hugs))) to you, too!❤️
03-20-2017 06:07 PM - edited 03-23-2017 07:20 AM
03-20-2017 06:13 PM
Jubilant wrote:
Just wanted to thank you for your kind words earlier in this thread. I remember when your husband died. I prayed for you much. I am so glad you came back. I have always enjoyed your kind and thoughtful posts. I am thankful for all those posters here willing to share whatever....from recipes to life experiences. I am especially thankful for those who show goodwill to their fellow man.
Thank you, @jubilant. That means more to me than I can ever express.❤️ I feel the same way about you, and I'm glad you're here. Your "where you tie your goat" reference actually helped me a lot in thinking about vulnerabilities on public, anonymous forums, and it brings a smile to my face when I remember it because you shared it in a humorous spirit. Which reminds me, too, that we probably need to take the forums less seriously and keep our sense of humor intact and in gear!
😜🙃
03-20-2017 06:30 PM
@catwhisperer wrote:@dooBdoo...Like you, I stayed away from posting for awhile. Now I'm sorry I started again. I have a bad habit of blurting out my opinions at times. Most people just ignore me and move on, but if I upset and offend someone, I feel it's only right to apologize. It's like walking on eggshells on these boards. Every word said is carefully scrutinized, and I'm not referring to the moderators.
@catwhisperer, I think the key is to decipher, over time and observation whether you actually upset or offended someone, or at first glance you only think you might have based on their post. Some people have either a posting style or their reason for being here that is often (but not always of course) meant to be snarly and off-putting; they want you to fear them. They're not truly upset or truly offended; you don't have anything to be sorry for or apologize for. And also, most of the time, no one needs to apologize for having an opinion, even if others don't like it.
It's that "sense" that sensitive people need to develop on forums.
03-20-2017 09:41 PM
@dooBdoo wrote:
@PurpleBunny wrote:"There are some who, once they learn your vulnerability, will remember it and use it against you."
Ain't that the sad truth! I learned that the hard way. I always try to remember that it takes a really warped, pathetic person to get their rocks off that way. Consider the source and feel sorry for them. They are miserable people.
@PurpleBunny, I also think it's a good reminder that "hurt people hurt people." We get criticized and laughed at for what some like to categorize as psychobabble sometimes, but there's some sound, common-sense conventional wisdom behind some observations like this one. People who have been wounded sometimes strike out at others... and I don't think all of them are aware they're doing it.
Definitely true of some. Sadly though, I think the majority know exactly what they are doing ... and feel empowered by it. Happily for us all, the good, kind-hearted posters still out number those with an agenda.
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