Old School versus New School Parenting - Page 2

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

I remember getting "participation ribbons" when the actual winners got the trophies. I really wanted the trophy and tried harder than hard to get it. I eventually did, especially in track. I appreciated the ribbon (told everyone I was there.... ) but it wasn't the same. I don't believe kids should get trophies for participating but have no problem with ribbons or certificates.

When I was playing softball I was not quite an A player, but I was a really good B player. I stayed in the B league for awhile but there wasn't the push to be better.... it was suggested I go into the A league (if accepted) and I was.... and surprise.... by the time the season was over, I was a decent A player. That wouldn't have happened if I had stayed on the B team.....

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

MorningLover · ‎10-04-2015

You need to watch the video and hear the conversation.

This was one of several comments.....

.

James Harrison, I applaud you for loving your kids enough to show them that you don't get everything handed to you on a silver platter in life. It is a lesson that every good parent should teach their children! Life is not always fair, but with hard work and a good attitude you can do almost anything! I hope you read this, and disregard all of those people that think their kids do deserve something for nothing !!!!!!!

And his young boys did go on to win Trophies...

that they earned and are proud of it !

DoneTryin · ‎03-09-2010

Good for him! Life can be challenging & we all have to learn to accept disappointments.

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

Chrystaltree2 wrote:
I second that!!!! My girls are close to 30 now and to be honest, I don't see much of the so called "new parenting" where I live. We sent them to Parochial schools so the concept of being rewarded for just trying didn't exist. Those who excelled got the awards and the high grades; those who did't excel, tried harder. Perhaps that is part;ly why my girls did well in college and are doing well in their careers. I have come across employees who who are all "huggy feely" and constantly need to be told how great they are and need their heads patted on regular basis.

Jacie wrote:
I am not a fan of giving trophies for showing up and participating. That is a basic expectation of life in general IMO.

Kids get an unrealistic view of themselves thinking they are all that and entitled.

Ditch the trophies.

My sons also went to Parochial schools where this concept of being rewarded for just trying didn't exist. After teaching in the public school system, I realized it was the best thing we could have ever done for them!

I found the statement Jacie made to be very true in public school.

Kids get an unrealistic view of themselves thinking they are all that and entitled.

It also happens with grades that are given to work that has been modified that are suppose to be meant to encourage(per special ed. administrators) and praise where not warranted for doing what most are expected to do.(i.e., manners, honesty, responsibility, showing up, etc.)
they go around bragging and most everyone else knows the real deal.

Its really sad as it DOES NOT prepare anyone for the hash realities of real life!
IMO - starr

sorry for any errors - i spilled coffee on my keyboard and its not working correctly. especially with punctuation signs

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

RainCityWoman · ‎06-16-2015

I'm a teacher by career, so I believe that recognition for participating is important, but trophies or awards are for achieving excellence in a field. I also don't believe in passing someone with a D- because they sat and did nothing for a whole semester. Yet, that's the kind of philosophy that is projected in some college programs. I refused to follow that line of thought. I know that self esteem is important, particularly when some kids do not get it at home, but getting something for nothing doesn't build self esteem. Neither does getting it by cheating. Reaching a benchmark by hard work does. Life doesn't give you passes, and your boss is not there to build your esteem by giving you a raise for just participating while not doing your job that well. I taught at a school that had its share of at risk students. I found that if you have high expectations for your students, most of them will rise to the occasion. Those who come to school and do nothing after all kinds of help is given have a bigger problem, and that starts in the home.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

This guy sounds like a AAA Jerk.

If he had issues with all the kids receiving trophies, he needed to discuss that with the ADULTS running the league.

He put his kids in the middle of an adult disagreement.

Loser.

Reba055 · ‎06-23-2014

I totally agree with James Harrison. What happened to learning that life is full of ups and downs, disappointment as well as joy, and winners and losers. The silly notion of a trophy for participation only serves to perpetuate the notion that we are all equal in life and entitled to the same as the next guy. Ridiculous. The first time kids that have been raised this way run into obstacles in adult life, they don't know how to handle it. Learning how to accept losing in sports is part of learning sportsmanship. Something lacking many times in today's athletics.

He's trying to raise his kids to not grow up as spoiled, entitled brats. Good for him!

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@Mrsq2022 wrote:

They were proud of their trophies which they received for accomplishing whatever it is they did. They proudly showed them to their dad, who told the wold the trophies were useless and they didn't deserve them....

@He sounds like an @ss-hole of a dad and his kids will never forget this, I'm sure. They will likely grow up to be competitive alpha-males like their father unfortunately. That's probably what he thinks "men" should be anyway...that's my opinion.

Im editing to say that I don't see anything wrong with participation trophies. The kids DO work hard to accomplish what they do. I received participation trophies and medals as a child too, as did most everyone. Why is everyone coming down so hard on them in this decade?

***********************************

@Mrsq2022

EXCELLENT POST!

And let us not forget that OLD SCHOOL also included spankings, hitting kids with switches and the old razor strap.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@Trinity11 wrote:
@Mrsq2022 wrote:
@Trinity11 The "raising boys to be men" rubs me the wrong way too. Coming from a linebacker, I do not want to know what he thinks being a "man' means.
I totally agree. I shudder to think what his definition of a "Man" is.

***************************

@Trinity11

I'm willing to bet it also includes making sure The Wife knows her place.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@MorningLover wrote:
You need to watch the video and hear the conversation.

This was one of several comments.....
.
James Harrison, I applaud you for loving your kids enough to show them that you don't get everything handed to you on a silver platter in life. It is a lesson that every good parent should teach their children! Life is not always fair, but with hard work and a good attitude you can do almost anything! I hope you read this, and disregard all of those people that think their kids do deserve something for nothing !!!!!!!

And his young boys did go on to win Trophies...
that they earned and are proud of it !