My daughters college roommate quit school - Page 8

just bee · ‎03-10-2010

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
I don't think it matters very much about the "stuff." It's just not a big deal. It is a big deal, however, that a young woman dropped out of college. Make no mistake about it: a college degree is a beginning point (requirement) for so very many opportunities that she will not have otherwise. I have NO patience with parents that say "college just isn't for everyone." Her parents should absolutely MAKE her stay in college. Period. Yes, that is something that parents should always do - when financially there is some possible way for a young person to go to college....as was, apparently, in this case.

This could very well be a separate (and fascinating) thread. I went off to a university at 17 and earned a degree. I went back to school in my late 40s and earned two more degrees in my 50s. What I know is this: College today is not what it was back when I first attended.

~My philosophy: Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels, here on Earth, who teach us to be better human beings.~

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

I agree with those who said she should have gone home and attended community college. I used to teach in a community college. It is such a joke to think that students will get a better education in a big-name college or university. The really outstanding professors don't teach the freshman and sophomores. They send in their teaching assistants or lower level instructors or assistant professors to teach those classes. The top professors want to teach upperclassman and graduate students.

I attended a community college for my first two years of college. When I transferred to the bigger university, my science background was far superior to others in my class who had attended the big university for the first two years. It is much easier to access your instructors in a small school with small classes than it is in a big university. Save your $$$ the first two years! You still end up graduating from a big-name university in the end.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
I don't think it matters very much about the "stuff." It's just not a big deal. It is a big deal, however, that a young woman dropped out of college. Make no mistake about it: a college degree is a beginning point (requirement) for so very many opportunities that she will not have otherwise. I have NO patience with parents that say "college just isn't for everyone." Her parents should absolutely MAKE her stay in college. Period. Yes, that is something that parents should always do - when financially there is some possible way for a young person to go to college....as was, apparently, in this case.

I agree that it is a big deal the girl dropped out. I disagree that her parent(s) should "MAKE her stay in college". College is not for everyone and I know plenty of people who did very well for themselves without college or with 2 years of college.

It's possible this girl needs another year to mature. It's possible this particular college was not a good fit for her, particularly considering she did not tour the college prior to arrival. She may be happier closer to home in a community college or vocational school.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

It sounds like the young lady was traumatized.

I have heard of students not being able to seperate and go off to college more than once.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@petepetey wrote:
3 weeks ago my daughter started college, about 1.5 hours from home. She is happy and doing great.
Her roommate lasted just 2 weeks. She came from across the country, never having visited the college. Her mom flew her there, shopped for all the dorm items and moved her in and went home.

The girl had a new boyfriend who talked with her non-stop on facetime. The girl sat in her room with the door shut and barely went out, other than to classes and to grab food.

My daughter kept inviting her to do things. They did like each other and got along just fine.

Week 1 the boyfriend drove 24 hours to see her. They went to a motel for 3 days.

Then, at the end of that week she found a greyhound bus that would take her home, she quit school. (they are out about $10,000, no refunds)

So she left about $200 worth of stuff behind. This weekend I removed it from the room and brought it home. I will donate it to chartiy. The school said she should not have left anything behind and didn't do anything with it.

It makes me so sad to have to do this. One day you are hopeful and shopping for all this new stuff, full of joy and all too soon it was junk she couldn't haul away.

@petepetey

I have read every single post and must say, I would hope you appreciate people warning you of the legal ramifications of appropriating another students belongings. You could say it was "just stuff" and the girl's parents could say it was "very valuable". If you were insistent on removing it, taking photos of everything in place before doing so would have been prudent.

Question ..... did you ever speak to the girl's mother? I think this would have been the way to go, and cleared up several ambiguities. JMO

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

The girl sitting alone in her room for days with the door shut sounds like depression to me.

It does not sound as if she was ready to be on her own.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

Petepetey - Why are you so involved in the drama of your daughter's roommate?

If my mother showed up at my dorm and did what you did - I would have been embarrassed.

If kids are old enough to room away at school, they need to solve their own problems - your daughter included.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

My oldest son was annoyed with me that we insisted on a two-year community college if he wanted our $ help. He shared an apartment near the school and close to home and then transferred to a university.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

@SaRina wrote:
@If it were me @Brinklii, I would have informed the college that the student's belongings have to be removed. If they were to do nothing, then the new student coming into the room would have to inform the college again and make arrangements to have the girl's belongings removed I have no legal authority to touch someone else's belongings.

If it was my child in that situation, I would have told her to go to the R.A. and get an answer on what to do with the stuff.

That's what R.A.s are for...mothers need to butt out.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Parents 'making'/forcing their chlld to stay in a far away college isn't a very good idea, imo. Sometimes the student just doesn't bother attending classes, 'flunks out'. Which doesn't look very good on their resumes. Lots of 'stuff' going on in and around colleges, socially. Some good, some bad. And if the student isn't actually studying and/or attending classes............well, you get 'my drift'.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).