My daughters college roommate quit school - Page 6

Gram W · ‎01-22-2013

@Vivian. The college I worked at asked the students to donate unwanted items and after graduation they held an auction for charity and items not purchased were donated. Each time there was a school break the locks were changed on all of the dorms so that all personal items were secure. On the day students could return the locks would be changed back. If you were not leaving campus you could get assistance from housing to help you find a place to stay. They also had a brief drop out period during which a student could decide to withdraw with no damage to their record and a partial refund. Beyond that point no refund and you were recorded as a drop out. Also they occasionally over registered requiring triple occupancy but that was corrected asap. When a student withdrew someone else moved in. This has gone on for years. Not everyone can handle college stress and structure. Even extremely intelligent people have problems with decision making for themselves. Each Aug and Jan employees in my division had training on how to react to the new students coming in. Many first year students still expect to be catered to like mom and dad did. They can be very demanding. By the end of the first semester it is all old hat, no big deal. I had many student workers over the years. They were working their way and they took everything seriously. Many were more productive than employees. I enjoyed my years with them.

just bee · ‎03-10-2010

When I was in college it was common for students to disappear and abandon all their possessions -- including their pets. Maybe I'm reading something else into your post, but I sense this is less about a student's belongings and more about how this may affect your child.

Are you feeling any anxiety, wondering if your daughter might start thinking about leaving as well? That would be natural and it wouldn't be unusual for your daughter to have those thoughts.

It won't be the first time she'll lose a roommate or classmate. I went to a university when I was 17 and only realized recently that my parents were probably counting on me to come home after a few weeks. I don't think they expected me to stick it out and succeed. During that time, many of my classmates vanished.

Worse, I returned to school a few years ago -- nursing school -- and it was brutal. I'd get to know a person and the next day he or she would be gone with no explanation. It affects the other students.

~My philosophy: Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels, here on Earth, who teach us to be better human beings.~

petepetey · ‎03-09-2010

Are you feeling any anxiety, wondering if your daughter might start thinking about leaving as well? That would be natural and it wouldn't be unusual for your daughter to have those thoughts.

Not worried at bit. My daughter is looking forward to getting a roommate that is excited about being a student there. She knows they may or may not be your friend, just be happy you get along.

She was also happy with the first roommate but wishes to move on without worrying about that girls choices in life.

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

I would never assume responsibility for someone else's belongings. That was the college's responsibility. It doesn't matter if you received verbal permission from the mother, the daughter, and the college....... verbal permission is just that -- verbal permission. It can quickly turn into legal accusation.

I realize this is not the intended focus of the OP, but it is important enough to mention.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

If you don't like this response, sorry but good grief you asked: Some girl left school and left stuff in the room. CALL THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT and have them come get it. End of story.

The girls each are renting HALF of a room. The housing department of the school is responsible for the room and simply should have been notified and taken care of it. The daughter herself should have called them or been reminded by the mother to call.

A big part of college, perhaps the most important, is growing up and taking care of yourself and reacting to life's incidents in an appropriate way. I can tell you that in a hot second my mother would have told me to call the appripriate office and have them take care of it.

I don't see ANY big whoop about this AT ALL. It's simply another learning experience. I am surprised a mother would be involved in this at all about just the room.

just bee · ‎03-10-2010

@petepetey wrote:

Are you feeling any anxiety, wondering if your daughter might start thinking about leaving as well? That would be natural and it wouldn't be unusual for your daughter to have those thoughts.

Not worried at bit. My daughter is looking forward to getting a roommate that is excited about being a student there. She knows they may or may not be your friend, just be happy you get along.

She was also happy with the first roommate but wishes to move on without worrying about that girls choices in life.

So true!

~My philosophy: Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels, here on Earth, who teach us to be better human beings.~

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

This sort of thing happens every year when college starts up. It sounds to me lilke the girl was ill-prepared for college emotionally. Too bad she wasn't ill-prepared for sex. It doesn't sound like the family did their part in preparing this gal for college emotionally. First of all, who enrolls in college without having visited it previously? A gal who is moving away from home to enroll in college when she has a new boyfriend sounds to me like she is desperate for love. Maybe she wasn't close to her family. It's sad.

Regarding the roommate's items, she probably told the other roommate to do what she wanted with them. Obviously, she had to dispose of them if she needed the space...and possibly the school would put a different roommate in with her as soon as they find two girls who don't get along. I don't get what is so wrong with the mother taking the items and giving them away to charity. Obviously, the mother didn't rob her daughter's room. Her daughter had to ok it. Maybe the daughter didn't have a car to dispose of the items herself. Just because her daughter is a freshman in college doesn't mean she doesn't need her mother's help or advice anymore. Her living-on-her-own life education is just beginning.

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A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@just bee My small nursing school started out with 30 in my class - by the end of the first year there were only 16 left - 2 more flunked out over the next 2 years and only 14 of us graduated.

software · ‎06-08-2016

So much drama over something that is none of your business. The girl was the daughter's roommate, not her WIFE, not her MOTHER. Her life, her business. And her stuff is not your business, no matter what the college tells you.