Marriage is work, sacrifice, compromise, hurt, and forgiveness....

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

All counselors and psychologists and everyone in the know talks about is how much work marriage is, hurt, compromise, sacrifice, change and on and on. I was married the first time for 16 years and now 25 years and it is hard. It makes you wonder why we get married. You go to work and have to please and work at work and then you come home and have to work to get along with husband and work to be good parents. I am starting to hate the word work even though I am retired.

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

There are advantages and disadvantages to living alone and living with a spouse/children. I've done both as an adult and I can't even say which is better or worse.

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

Roles have changed so much over the centuries; women have FAR more options available than ever before and I believe those options will only grow as time goes by. The purpose of marriage is not what it once was; certain behaviors no longer need to be tolerated and in the end, you don't need to be married to be happy (or to have children).

It IS hard because so many realize they really don't want to have to make so many sacrifices and being real, that's usually what women have had to do while the men continue to live their lives unaffected (for the most part).

That's all I'll say on this subject.

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

I've been with my SO for 30 years and it is work to maintain the relationship but there is far more happiness than hard work. Yes there is compromise and it is easier to not try than to work at it. It's also in your attitude. You can't change the way others act but you can change how you react!! I found that when there was conflict if I reacted negatively it got out of control but if I stayed positive and didn't react negatively over something that in the long run meant nothing then eventually there were less conflicts because he started acting differently on his own and it wasn't the struggle it could have been. For me that has been the key to my relationship lasting so long.

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

We've been together for 21 years now. We've had rough patches - every couple has. But I can't imagine my life without him. We have two beautiful children and a very good life.

We both allow each other the freedom to just be who we are. I wasn't interested in changing him and he wasn't interested in changine me. I am not his mother. I do not wish to control him.

Everything he does he does with his heart and soul. That's just one of the many reasons why I love him so much. He is the light of my life.

Yes, it's work to maintain such a good relationship. I like to think of it as nuturing the relationship.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Ying/yang

Mars/Venus

Male/Female

Two people getting along................it can be done.

But I think the OP is right that you do put a lot into it. Everyone does. But I think that's how we get the rewards too. Old saying of "anything worth doing, is worth doing right" applies.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

Yes,marriage is hard work!! Anything worth having is worth fighting for!! I've been married for many years.Given the opportunity I would do it all over again.My DH is my best friend & the absolute love of my life!! We have certainly had our good times & bad times.We have powered through a lot together!! Illness,death,career issues,Unemployment, & family issues!! However,the key word is together!!!

Together we raised a wonderful child.It's still hard work.It seems that everyday brings us a new challenge but we face it together as a family!! Together we have strength & purpose!!

We come home to each other at the end of the day because we choose to not because we have to.Our home is our soft place to fall where there is support,understanding & Unconditional love!!

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

Spoiler

Beautifully said. I totally agree. Been married over 40 years and still going strong. He is my rock.

Gram W · ‎01-22-2013

I was married for 34 ears before my husband passed. I know I chose the right partner for me. Marriage is work for both partners just like anything else in life. No 2 people are completely alike or have the same opinions. You have to communicate with your partner in life just like you do in all other aspects of life.. Marriage is only a sacrifice if you chose to feel that way. Married or single you are going to get hurt or hurt others and hopefully forgiveness will happen. All life is a compromise and will require sacrifices from time to time. I loved having a partner in life and was hoping to grow old with him. I am so thankful for the time that we did have together. if you go into marriage with a definition like the lead and take the words as a negative you are probably going to be unhappy. Maybe you would be happier being single and childless. Children, not just husband's or partners, take more work, sacrifice, compromise, hurt and forgiveness. Go into both only if that is what you want and are willing to work toward not what others think you need. Anything in life worth doing/having is worth the effort it takes to make it happened. My husband's illness cut our time together short but I feel blessed for the 34 years we did have. I have many friends that feel the same. We ladies feel that any "job" worth having is worth doing well. We married people who were also looking for a partner. Any partnership takes work and communication and being able to take the time to truly listen to each other.