Community Chat

[fortune]

The man across the street has two children--a girl around 9 and a boy about 7.  His wife works a lot and is out of town a lot.  He doesn't work and spends a lot of time with the kids when they are not in school.

The little girl plays with my neighbor (also 9 or 10), who spends all her time across the street with her little girl friend, the dad, and the little boy. 

I've seen the father kiss my neighbor girl on the lips several times.  Is this normal or should this indicate red flags?

[CareBears]

@fortune Maybe I am from a reserved family, but my own father did not kiss me on the lips always just on the cheek, maybe I am reading your post icorrectly, he is not kissing his daughter on the lips but his daughters friend who happens to be the same age?

[woman63]

Tell the child's parents. Do it right now. 

[RainyDayGal]

Define "kissing"? 

I'm not even going to jump to conclusions on this.

[fortune]

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@CareBears wrote:

@fortune Maybe I am from a reserved family, but my own father did not kiss me on the lips always just on the cheek, maybe I am reading your post icorrectly, he is not kissing his daughter on the lips but his daughters friend who happens to be the same age?

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@CareBears

He kisses both his daughter and her little friend on the lips every time they or he is leaving.  This is the only time I see them--when they are outside.  I don't know what goes on inside.  They mostly play inside with the father and little boy.  Both are around 9 or 10 years old.

[fortune]

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@CareBears wrote:

@fortune Maybe I am from a reserved family, but my own father did not kiss me on the lips always just on the cheek, maybe I am reading your post icorrectly, he is not kissing his daughter on the lips but his daughters friend who happens to be the same age?

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@CareBears

I didn't kiss either of my parents on the lips either. 

[CareBears]

@fortune Not knowing the people involved I do not want to speculate but being a mother who has had a teenage girl, if she had ever come home and told me that one of her friend's father was kissing her on the lips, that just sounds really bad, you need to talk to this girls parents and tell them what you have witnessed, again I don't want to speculate, but GROSS!

[Sooner]

It's inappropriate.  Especially now with so many people you wouldn't expect being accused of inappropriate behavior with children, I would kiss kids on the cheek, and teach them NOT to be kissed on the lips by others.  If that would happen then they would probably report it to you. 

That way, I'd think you have a better shot at knowing when someone is handling the child in a way you wouldn't want them to.

Lip kissing can come later and not from parents and older friends of parents or people they associate with.  You just can't be too careful these days.  

[Trinity11]

Fortune, I would go by my gut. You asked the question here so clearly there most definitely IS something wrong. I am a very reserved person who rarely if ever gets involved in anyone's business but this I would intervene and tell my neighbor what you are seeing....

[Cakers3]

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@fortune wrote:

The man across the street has two children--a girl around 9 and a boy about 7.  His wife works a lot and is out of town a lot.  He doesn't work and spends a lot of time with the kids when they are not in school.

The little girl plays with my neighbor (also 9 or 10), who spends all her time across the street with her little girl friend, the dad, and the little boy. 

I've seen the father kiss my neighbor girl on the lips several times.  Is this normal or should this indicate red flags?

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@fortune  Where is the mother if this little girls spends ALL her time with the dad and his children?

As disturbing as that kiss may be-it is just as disturbing that this girls mother seems to be delegating the care of her daughter to a neighbor.

And do the children of this dad ever play at another house??

Isolation of children is not necessarily bad but it can also indicate issues behind closed doors, although usually outsiders are not allowed in homes where abuse may be going on.

This is not an easy one to answer;  I would seek the advice of a professional child protection worker and let them decide.