Stay in Touch
Get sneak previews of special offers & upcoming events delivered to your inbox.
Sign in
02-21-2017 02:00 PM
If I had a positive and involved relationship with the person; yes. Otherwise...no.
02-21-2017 02:40 PM
@libbyannE wrote:What's behind the question? Do I sense hurt feelings? Need more info.
I explained. My siblings didn't even bother to check on my father after surgery with a phone call. Six days later - still - nothing. It's beyond my comprehension. Apparently I am "the bad guy" for voicing my disappointment. I apparently expect too much.
02-21-2017 02:44 PM
@queendiva wrote:@PurpleBunny: Truly sorry if this was your experience. Do we share the same relatives? I could tell stories, but I will not hijack your post.
I have found that I must tell my family members before such an event what my hopes are from them. I will tell them before the procedure what day it is planned, and if I will need transportation and that I would appreciate a call from each of them to check on me after because such a call would make me feel good. After that, it's on them to come through for you.
It's hard and often unrealistic to have expectations of others, even loved ones, but it's good to communicate our feelings ahead of time to try to avoid disappointment next time.
Queen, my dad was the patient, and he always has me and my husband there. No matter what. I cared for my dying mother too. All I expected from them was a call, (I know not to expect more). I was crushed nobody called him.
02-21-2017 02:46 PM
@sunshine45 wrote:perhaps you could call them when you are with your dad? that way he gets to talk to them and will hopefully be less anxious or upset.
That's generally what I do. It's just that sometimes I have to attend to my own "stuff" and I always hope that someone will come through when I am distracted.
02-21-2017 02:47 PM
@Katcat1 wrote:I don't know how you could ask that question. How did the elderly parent get to the surgery location? It sounds like you are not close to your parent because you would not ask the question. Of course, you would be concerned and probably go visit to see if they need anything if they are close by (in the same state).
I am extremely close to the parent. I take complete care of him.
02-21-2017 02:49 PM
@DianeJ2 wrote:@PurpleBunnny Yes, you would fit right in with us 🙂 if we knew your dad, we would have called to wish him well! Your siblings will one day wish they had the chance again, trust me. We luckily got to with our dad, even in the challenging times with him....hugs to your dad!
❤
02-21-2017 02:55 PM
@PurpleBunny wrote:
@libbyannE wrote:What's behind the question? Do I sense hurt feelings? Need more info.
I explained. My siblings didn't even bother to check on my father after surgery with a phone call. Six days later - still - nothing. It's beyond my comprehension. Apparently I am "the bad guy" for voicing my disappointment. I apparently expect too much.
I've found that when you're the child being there for most everything- the others feel (whether it's subconscious or not) they don't have to do... very sad. It's not an excuse for poor behavior, it's jsut an unfortunate reality.
02-21-2017 02:59 PM
@Ibby114 wrote:
@PurpleBunny wrote:
@libbyannE wrote:What's behind the question? Do I sense hurt feelings? Need more info.
I explained. My siblings didn't even bother to check on my father after surgery with a phone call. Six days later - still - nothing. It's beyond my comprehension. Apparently I am "the bad guy" for voicing my disappointment. I apparently expect too much.
I've found that when you're the child being there for most everything- the others feel (whether it's subconscious or not) they don't have to do... very sad. It's not an excuse for poor behavior, it's jsut an unfortunate reality.
I think you're right. The more you do, the more they expect. Unfortunately, I'm the one with the most on my plate to begin with. ☹️
02-21-2017 03:23 PM
My 85yo Dad lives alone (with a caretaker/personal assistant lady) on the property about 30minutes away. My Mom passed away 6years ago. He was not taking care of himself very well after her death and Miss Laura is an angel to help with cooking and cleaning.
We talk on the phone several times a day and before bed he usually calls me or I call him to say good night.
so YES, I would be involved in any minor surgery procedure my Dad was having.
We did not talk so much over the phone when he had my Mom to talk with but things have changed and he seems to appreciates our little phone chats.
My DH calls his 88yo Mother once a week after the Sunday PGA Golf Game for a chat. He would either be with her or on the phone with her if she had any procedure. She lives alone about 8 hours away in a retirement community in Florida.
Turn this around, what you YOU want from your child if you were living alone?
Best of Luck and Wishes to you and your family,
CAT
02-21-2017 03:26 PM
@gacat123 I agree. At that age, every little rememberance means something. Even though my dad lives five minutes from me and I see him constantly, I send him cards, email and call. Those are things that would make me feel good, too.
Get sneak previews of special offers & upcoming events delivered to your inbox.
*You're signing up to receive QVC promotional email.
Find recent orders, do a return or exchange, create a Wish List & more.
Privacy StatementGeneral Terms of Use
QVC is not responsible for the availability, content, security, policies, or practices of the above referenced third-party linked sites nor liable for statements, claims, opinions, or representations contained therein. QVC's Privacy Statement does not apply to these third-party web sites.
© 1995-2024 QVC, Inc. All rights reserved. | QVC, Q and the Q logo are registered service marks of ER Marks, Inc. 888-345-5788