Community Chat

[NativeJax]

If it's important than a phone call is required. Email is a little more formal and if you need it for records. I like email and check it throughout the day but most people prefer texting of Facebook....IMO. I have an aunt who is very savvy with electronics but insists to communicate via email, why? Why is it so important that it only be thru email. She hates texting and she rarely answers her phone.... Don't complain about me not responding fast enough to email when you can pick up the phone or text. I prefer email when I need details for record purposes or for work related items.

[Irshgrl31201]

---

@Sooner wrote:

Well, I'd guess that in today's fast paced world young people don't have time to respond to the old folks.  They are young, busy and involved.  I can't put too much blame on them. . . it is a different world they live in.

If you want to stay in touch with them, use the methods they use to communicate, and don't get huffy if  you don't hear from them.  The alternative is to write it off and quit trying to stay in touch.   You can't make them respond.  

---

Sorry @Sooner but this is a bunch of excuses. My daughter is 27 and she owns her own business and works between 45-55 hrs a week (even more during the holidays), has a 2 yr old and a husband. He works at a job around 50-55 hrs a week and travels about 1 week to 10 days a month. They both are busy but both make time to answer their family and he has 5 brothers and sisters and his parents and they all text, FB or use google hangout. They may not answer right away but they answer with in 12 hrs at the most. People make time to respond if they want to, doesn't matter how different or fast pace the world is.

To the OP, I was going to suggest contacting them through FB messenger since you said they were on FB but you said you tried to contact them through that with no response. Do you know if they have read your message, it will show the date and time they read it. I am sorry they are not answering you. That is extremely rude. 

[Sooner]

---

@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

---

@Sooner wrote:

Well, I'd guess that in today's fast paced world young people don't have time to respond to the old folks.  They are young, busy and involved.  I can't put too much blame on them. . . it is a different world they live in.

If you want to stay in touch with them, use the methods they use to communicate, and don't get huffy if  you don't hear from them.  The alternative is to write it off and quit trying to stay in touch.   You can't make them respond.  

---

Sorry @Sooner but this is a bunch of excuses. My daughter is 27 and she owns her own business and works between 45-55 hrs a week (even more during the holidays), has a 2 yr old and a husband. He works at a job around 50-55 hrs a week and travels about 1 week to 10 days a month. They both are busy but both make time to answer their family and he has 5 brothers and sisters and his parents and they all text, FB or use google hangout. They may not answer right away but they answer with in 12 hrs at the most. People make time to respond if they want to, doesn't matter how different or fast pace the world is.

To the OP, I was going to suggest contacting them through FB messenger since you said they were on FB but you said you tried to contact them through that with no response. Do you know if they have read your message, it will show the date and time they read it. I am sorry they are not answering you. That is extremely rude. 

---

Well, excuses or not, it is apparent they don't have or want to take time to correspond with you.  If you want to continue the relationship try contacting them through whatever social media they use.  If they answer fine, if not you can CHOOSE to continue contacting them or not.  Some day it may pay off or not.

You can't force people to have a relationship with you.  You can keep trying and hoping and praying that things will change or give up and forget about it.  I don't really know what else to tell you.  If the responses mean more or the relationship--even if one sided--means more, that's up to you and how you feel about it.  

But everybody, especially youngers, get busy are distracted or otherwise have to choose priorities.  At this stage of life obviously something else is attracting their attention.  That probably will change someday if you want to wait it out and keep up the relationship even though for now it is one sided.  

But please don't be mad, hurt and angry.  That for sure will kill a relationship that love, time and patience might very well change!  Best wishes!

[Imadickens]

I tend to agree with the notion that people now text more. What I really hate is that we are losing all personal contact! First, we gave up snail mail and thank you notes! Then, books became obsolete . Now, I can't even hear my loved one's voice anymore! A lot can be told from hearing a voice and much can be misunderstood by email and text! I, personally, have no plans to give up shopping in stores, reading from a paper book, or saying good night to my loved ones without using a keyboard!

BTW, I get and send phone texts from my tablet! Maybe those who haven't the capability via phone to text could use a tablet!

[BalletBabe]

If I do not go to facebook , I hear from no one.  I have had to learn of peoples death on facebook.  I keep telling them , I do not go on facebook everyday.  DON"T LEAVE MESSAGES THERE.   They continue to write me on there.  It is very frustrating.  I hope they need to reach me in a hurry someday and I don't respond, because I am going on facebook less and less!

[Irshgrl31201]

---

@Sooner wrote:

---

@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

---

@Sooner wrote:

Well, I'd guess that in today's fast paced world young people don't have time to respond to the old folks.  They are young, busy and involved.  I can't put too much blame on them. . . it is a different world they live in.

If you want to stay in touch with them, use the methods they use to communicate, and don't get huffy if  you don't hear from them.  The alternative is to write it off and quit trying to stay in touch.   You can't make them respond.  

---

Sorry @Sooner but this is a bunch of excuses. My daughter is 27 and she owns her own business and works between 45-55 hrs a week (even more during the holidays), has a 2 yr old and a husband. He works at a job around 50-55 hrs a week and travels about 1 week to 10 days a month. They both are busy but both make time to answer their family and he has 5 brothers and sisters and his parents and they all text, FB or use google hangout. They may not answer right away but they answer with in 12 hrs at the most. People make time to respond if they want to, doesn't matter how different or fast pace the world is.

To the OP, I was going to suggest contacting them through FB messenger since you said they were on FB but you said you tried to contact them through that with no response. Do you know if they have read your message, it will show the date and time they read it. I am sorry they are not answering you. That is extremely rude. 

---

Well, excuses or not, it is apparent they don't have or want to take time to correspond with you.  If you want to continue the relationship try contacting them through whatever social media they use.  If they answer fine, if not you can CHOOSE to continue contacting them or not.  Some day it may pay off or not.

You can't force people to have a relationship with you.  You can keep trying and hoping and praying that things will change or give up and forget about it.  I don't really know what else to tell you.  If the responses mean more or the relationship--even if one sided--means more, that's up to you and how you feel about it.  

But everybody, especially youngers, get busy are distracted or otherwise have to choose priorities.  At this stage of life obviously something else is attracting their attention.  That probably will change someday if you want to wait it out and keep up the relationship even though for now it is one sided.  

But please don't be mad, hurt and angry.  That for sure will kill a relationship that love, time and patience might very well change!  Best wishes!

---

I totally agree that you can't force people to have a relationship with you. The OP did comment that she tried to contact them via FB messenger and she knows they go on FB because she sees them posting so I don't know what other advice to give her because it seems they see she her messages but just don't want to respond. Not much you can do about that. The text of yours that I bolded is good advice too.

[lavendar]

Forty years ago, before the tech revolution, we had only snail mail and landlines to communicate.

The problem still existed. My mother sent beautiful boxes of homemade cookies on Valentine's day. She sent them to her one neice and two nephews and one grandneice. It was A LOT of work. She was an amazing baker.

She always heard from her nephews and neice. Probably by phone.

She NEVER heard from her grandneice. She stopped sending them to her. I think her grandneice was about sixteen.

I am seventy two. I was brought up to send a thank you note if I wasn't able to thank the person in person. I still do. I send very special cards. My friends and family love them.

With so many ways to respond I think it's a cultural change that 'thank you's' are passe. Or simply manners aren't taught by parents, etc.

My eighty five year old friend is constantly complaining that her gifts are not acknowledged. She does email.

She redid her will recently. HA!

[Sooner]

Well, with grand kids, nieces and nephews, maybe you can't expect kids to reply to you or keep in touch.  Right or wrong, be that the case, is your love and relationship a quid pro quo basis?  If they don't respond do you still love them?

If you do, please continue to reach out to them and let them know whether they reply or not, because unconditional love is maybe the rarest gem and the greatest gift on earth. 

[KarenQVC]

I really think it is the intention, not the method.  People who want to sell me something always find a way to reach me.  I have found out over time that some relatives don't read what I send them or listen to my phone messages.  When it gets that bad, I don't throw good time after bad or I will be resentful.  I just wait for them to contact me.

[Yardlie]

No...email is not outdated. What seems to be outdated is saying "Thank you" ... or in your case...acknowledging your emails.

We never receive thank you notes from our nieces and nephews for the gifts that we send them. These are teenagers. If they didn't want to write a note, make a call, or email...they could at least text! Anything! I was having to ask their mothers if they even received our gifts.

Finally, we just decided to quit sending the gifts since they did not seem to be appreciated. We just send cards now. Wouldn't you know that one of the boy's mothers had the gall to ask if we meant to enclose a check in her son's card! I came right out and said, "No! Frankly, he never acknowledged our gifts, so we did not think he would even miss them." Do you know what the mother's response was? "Oh, I guess I've been so busy that I didn't get time to write thank yous." I told her that it wasn't her place to write thank yous...that it was her place to teach her children to write their own. We never see these kids anyway, and the mom never even sends photos of them. The dad is the blood relative. He called to apologize and said that we were 100% correct (acted like he didn't know about his kids not writing thank yous). We still aren't sending them gifts. We just said that we are retired now and on a tight budget.

I don't care if I came off like a "B." A gift is not a bill that we owe and are forced to pay. A gift is something we choose to give out of love. We decided that if they are not acknowledged, then that is the end of our gift giving to that person...or maybe instead we should send an etiquette book as our next gift??