Have you ever stopped talking to yhour mother?

Bubbles219 · ‎03-12-2010

I have a dear elderly neighbor (in her 80's) that I have become quite close to in the approximate six years I have known her. Her husband passed away about 18 months ago and she lives alone. Her daughter stopped talking to her over what started out as a simple batch of home made soup. Her daughter came by one day to drive her to a doctor visit and saw the fixings for the soup on the kitchen counter. She decided to start the soup, thinking she was helping out her mother. My friend kindly replied that she really wanted to make the soup herself as it gave her something to do and made her feel useful. From there it escalated and her daughter has since stopped visiting and calling.

Now I realize that I do not have total insight into their relationship, but I have seen photos and heard memories of camping trips and pool parties, etc. They are not rich by any means but always managed to give their daughter whatever she wanted. I know that parent child relationships are all different and I can understand why some would feel that one thing or another might be unfiorgiveable (such as abuse) ~ BUT~ for the life of me I cannot see how someone would stop talking to to their mom over a disagreement . My mom upset me many times throughout my childhood and into my adulthood, but NEVER EVER did I stop talking to her!!

My friend has reached out to her throughout these months to no avail. She celebrated her birthday last month and her daughter sent her a generic card rather than a mother birthday card. Her daughter wrote in the card for her to stop by for a visit if she was ever in her area checking out the leaves. Huih?

It breaks my heart that she is going through this. She now has a health crisis and her daughter does not know. Of course it is her decision whether she contacts her daughter and though I may or may not agree with her decision, it is indeed her decision to make.

Just wondering what your thoughts are ...

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

How sad. Of course, a family outsider will never know the entire story.

No, I never stopped talking to my mother. She meant the world to me and I miss her and think of her every day.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

Gosh thats a tough one. I'll bet the soup was the last straw. I can't imagine anyone getting that bent out of shape over a pot of soup. Life is much too short to live it like that. I never stopped talking to any of my family members, nor my husbands either

sparklestar · ‎03-09-2010

I don't know. It's a tough one. I do know that her daughter will someday regret how she treated her mother. Unfortunately, it will be too late. People never stop to think about that. They are too wrapped up in their pride. It's very sad.

Kitlynn · ‎03-09-2010

It is sad and unfortunate when things like this happen. You are right though as there may be more to it than you know. More than likely it had nothing to do with the soup but that was the breaking point for the daughter. The daughter could have mental issues that you don't know about also. I would just continue to be a good friend to your neighbor and not try to figure out her realationship with her daughter. It is between them and hopefuly they will get things worked out soon. It sounds like the daughter is thinking about her or she wouldn't have sent any kind of card however generic acknowledging her Mothers' birthday and tell her to stop by if she was in the neighborhood.

Mj12 · ‎03-09-2010

It is very sad, there HAS to be more to it. Like you OP I can understand ceasing all contact for something unforgivable. But soup? No. I just think how sad, when so many of us would kill to talk to our Mom again.

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

Every family is different, my mom was my favorite person to talk to. I would give anything to be able to talk to her again. My dad was not my favorite person, but we never stopped talking. It's a sad situation for both of them.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

It's not about the soup.

Gram W · ‎01-22-2013

I was raised with the idea to never go to bed mad as you do not know what tomorrow brings. As a wife I learned that lesson well. My husband had severe medical problems and could not work for 15 years. The last 5 years were 1 day at a time for as long as we could. I did not know how morning would be. He passed quickly early evening. The woman's daughter better wake up before it is to late. It is never to late to mend fences. Someday the shoe will be on the foot. How would she feel if her daughter treated her that way? How does she feel now when having family differences that don't get solved? Life is to short. Pride can be an awful thing when it controls our actions. You are not her family but I am glad that you are showing her that you care.

susan kay · ‎06-28-2011

I agree that what happened probably had nothing to do with the soup. It's hard to know what has happened within that family over the years. It has to be sad to watch, though!

No, I never stopped speaking to my mother, and I, also, miss her every single day. I definitely was one of the lucky ones when it came to moms. She was a treasure and a lovely human being.