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11-29-2015 02:52 PM
I have one brother who lives 2 hours away. We are close, talk a few times each week. He has 2 sons in their late twenties. I have not seen or talked to them in about 5 years for no reason......that is ok. Well, Christmas week, or the day after I get a card from them addressed to just me with $50. This is awarkward as I have no contact with these kids during the year. They could use the money more than me. I know my brother puts them up to it and told him this was not necessary. When this card comes in the mail, I send them one with $50 in it. Any suggestions on ending this?
11-29-2015 02:55 PM
I know you mean well but I would stop sending them the $50.00. Maybe they will get the hint.
11-29-2015 02:57 PM
do the sons live near your brother?
if they do, why not suggest that you all go out (could be around the holidays or just after the new year) and enjoy a meal together instead of exchanging gifts? make an effort to go there and spend some time with them in a neutral setting so that you can enjoy each others company and have some good conversation.
11-29-2015 03:13 PM
I'm assuming these men are your nephews? I haven't seen my nephew in as many years because he lives in the west coast, but I still give him b-day & xmas money each year! I love this 34 yr old man like he is mine. I'm sry that you are in a quandary over this.
11-29-2015 03:23 PM - edited 11-29-2015 03:25 PM
From what you wrote, these are two GROWN men who happen to be your nephews.
You have no contact from them in 5 yrs yet, they send you $$ every xmas.
"Any suggestions on ending this?"
Keep the $$. Send a thank you card.
"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."
11-29-2015 03:32 PM
@panda1234, tell them you are on a fixed income and would prefer not to exchange gifts.
11-29-2015 04:16 PM - edited 11-29-2015 04:18 PM
@sunshine45 wrote:do the sons live near your brother?
if they do, why not suggest that you all go out (could be around the holidays or just after the new year) and enjoy a meal together instead of exchanging gifts? make an effort to go there and spend some time with them in a neutral setting so that you can enjoy each others company and have some good conversation.
~~~
@panda1234Assuming you want to maintain the contact, but in a different manner, I think @sunshine45 has made a great suggestion.
11-29-2015 05:15 PM
@Drythe wrote:
@sunshine45 wrote:do the sons live near your brother?
if they do, why not suggest that you all go out (could be around the holidays or just after the new year) and enjoy a meal together instead of exchanging gifts? make an effort to go there and spend some time with them in a neutral setting so that you can enjoy each others company and have some good conversation.
~~~
@panda1234Assuming you want to maintain the contact, but in a different manner, I think @sunshine45 has made a great suggestion.
They live with my brother. Thank you for your suggestion.
11-29-2015 05:19 PM
@qualitygal wrote:@panda1234, tell them you are on a fixed income and would prefer not to exchange gifts.
I felt that when they turned 21 many years ago it would be a good time to stop. It did stop for a few years and for some reason my brother started it up again. I just don't feel comfortable doing this.
11-29-2015 05:20 PM
@Mz iMac wrote:From what you wrote, these are two GROWN men who happen to be your nephews.
You have no contact from them in 5 yrs yet, they send you $$ every xmas.
"Any suggestions on ending this?"
Keep the $$. Send a thank you card.
I think that is just what I am going to do, thanks.
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