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Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎04-27-2015

I have one brother who lives 2 hours away. We are close, talk a few times each week. He has 2 sons in their late twenties. I have not seen or talked to them in about 5 years for no reason......that is ok. Well, Christmas week, or the day after I get a card from them addressed to just me with $50. This is awarkward as I have no contact with these kids during the year. They could use the money more than me. I know my brother puts them up to it and told him this was not necessary. When this card comes in the mail, I send them one with $50 in it. Any suggestions on ending this? 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 539
Registered: ‎10-24-2014

Re: Have a gift giving question

I know you mean well but I would stop sending them the $50.00. Maybe they will get the hint.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,255
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Have a gift giving question

do the sons live near your brother?

if they do, why not suggest that you all go out (could be around the holidays or just after the new year) and enjoy a meal together instead of exchanging gifts? make an effort to go there and spend some time with them in a neutral setting so that you can enjoy each others company and have some good conversation.

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Contributor
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Have a gift giving question

I'm assuming these men are your nephews?  I haven't seen my nephew in as many years because he lives in the west coast, but I still give him b-day & xmas money each year! I love this 34 yr old man like he is mine. I'm sry that you are in a quandary over this.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,187
Registered: ‎07-26-2014

Re: Have a gift giving question

[ Edited ]

From what you wrote, these are two GROWN men who happen to be your nephews.

You have no contact from them in 5 yrs yet, they send you $$ every xmas.

 

"Any suggestions on ending this?"

 

 

Keep the $$.  Send a thank you card. Smiley Wink

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."


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Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,163
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Have a gift giving question

@panda1234, tell them you are on a fixed income and would prefer not to exchange gifts.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: Have a gift giving question

[ Edited ]

@sunshine45 wrote:

do the sons live near your brother?

if they do, why not suggest that you all go out (could be around the holidays or just after the new year) and enjoy a meal together instead of exchanging gifts? make an effort to go there and spend some time with them in a neutral setting so that you can enjoy each others company and have some good conversation.


~~~

 

@panda1234Assuming you want to maintain the contact, but in a different manner, I think @sunshine45 has made a great suggestion.   

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,875
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Have a gift giving question


@Drythe wrote:

@sunshine45 wrote:

do the sons live near your brother?

if they do, why not suggest that you all go out (could be around the holidays or just after the new year) and enjoy a meal together instead of exchanging gifts? make an effort to go there and spend some time with them in a neutral setting so that you can enjoy each others company and have some good conversation.


~~~

 

@panda1234Assuming you want to maintain the contact, but in a different manner, I think @sunshine45 has made a great suggestion.   


They live with my brother. Thank you for your suggestion.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,875
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Have a gift giving question


@qualitygal wrote:

@panda1234, tell them you are on a fixed income and would prefer not to exchange gifts.


I felt that when they turned 21 many years ago it would be a good time to stop. It did stop for a few years and for some reason my brother started it up again. I just don't feel comfortable doing this.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,875
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Have a gift giving question


@Mz iMac wrote:

From what you wrote, these are two GROWN men who happen to be your nephews.

You have no contact from them in 5 yrs yet, they send you $$ every xmas.

 

"Any suggestions on ending this?"

 

 

Keep the $$.  Send a thank you card. Smiley Wink


I think that is just what I am going to do, thanks.