@ShowMeI am glad you have more good days then bad, and I can understand that have you have your bad days, that is only human!! and is understandable!! You are allowed to have bad days, and should never feel gulity for getting your feelings out of you and into the space.... cause it is better for the bad feelings to be out of you rather then in you... so that your body can concentrate on healing from within and all the negative feelings can be out of there.. It is only human to have both good and bad feelings, but it is necessary to feel the bad feelings along with the good and express them so they are released from the body and therefore the body is able to concentrate on healing. I think people are afraid to feel the bad feelings and therefore shove them down and that can make us sick, so if you feel ******ty,,,get it out and express it ,,even if it is not ladylike,, you are human and must express and feel all that a human feels,, ugly or beautiful,, it does not matter, the important part is expressing and feeling ALL that makes us human and not having to make excuses for what may not be acceptable or understood, and not feeling guilty for being real and genuine as a person. Just being whole and loveing all that being whole means. Every part of you, the good, bad and ugly, cause it is ALL good, it is all you and it is all beautiful... no matter what anyone says. It is human to be imperfect, and it is healing to love your self completely. So love yourself completely!!
Ok, enough preaching,, I know you heard it before, So if I am understanding this right, you have the port in all the time but you only get medicine during treatment, not all the time? If this is true, how long does the side effects last from treatments? Do you have some good days in between treatments? Why are you glad you have comfy seats in your car after treatments, does it hurt to sit? How are you able to drive?
Are you in pain from the treatments? The food you described sounds sooo good. I love home cooked food like that, and it seems to becoming a thing of the past and there is nothing as good as home cooking!!! I feel sorry for the generation being raised without the home cooking receipes of the past. such a shame..
I am glad you have such nice neighbors that care about you, they are more precious then gold, and that you do not go hungry, yes you are very lucky indeed.
Now a days it is not uncommon for people who are in need, like you, to be taken advantage of and robbed of what they have because of being in a vulnerable positon, so you are more fortunate then most, that you are surrounded by people who care and are not there for the wrong reasons. I have seen this happen and believe it or not there are people out there who wait and look for vulnerable people to prey upon. This is their job and it is how they pay their bills!!!! I have seen this and it is hard to believe but these people will even read obits in the newspaper and follow the family grieving hoping to make a profit..... EVil lurks around us and you are very fortunate indeed that you have people who really do love you,,, for no other motive but to love you..
Sorry I went on and on but I just went though losing my brother and having my mother put in a home cause of dementia.. I have first hand witnessed the ugly side of human nature and how the vultures came out to take and steal all they felt they deserved. without loving them at all.. It still is raw and hurtfull; My husband and I dont have kids but we are making sure our will of our belongings goes to our nieces and nephews that most deserve it.
Anyway, if you do not eat much, you must not weigh much. My mom is less then a 100 pounds now, I go and visit her three times a week, my sister stole her whole bank account and now does not want anything to do with mom, my sister lives five minutes from the nursing home and Never goes to see mom... she is power of attorney and emptyed the bank account,, and now that the home has taken moms checks and my sister has put moms valuables in storage for her own use to sell, she does give a ****** about my mother or anything else. She got everything and all my moms money, not alot, a few thousand, but now wants nothing to do with her, my mom keeps asking why she is never there and I just say I dont know,,
oh well Karma will get her ass... Me and my husband will have to pay for her burial cause she does not have insurance and my sister stole what she had left. Anyway You are lucky you have a sister to love and trust, I did not have that, but I believe God will not be easy on her,.
Anyway, enough of that, your castle lamp is soo beautiful. Thanks for taking pics of it for me. Doesnt it seem we all have our cross to bear? If it is not emotional then it is physcial. My mom always said that we have to endure pain because of the pain Jesus had to endure for us, I dont know if this is true, but it seems to me that people either have emotional pain while here or physical pain but we dont get out of here and into the next life and world without going thru our pain,,, or bearing out cross.. so if all of us have to bear it,, then the best of us will bear it with Grace!!! and be the standard that the rest of us look up too.
Yes the house does smell good!!!! I love the smell of home cooking.. reminds me of my mom, and it hurts me she can no longer cook for us or anybody else again.. she is unaware of this fact most of the time, which helps me to deal with it, but she when she realizes how much she has lost in life and and is unable to do anymore, it is soooo painful and hurtful..., So yes be thankful you can drive and still be on your own and cook when you can, you are still able to do more then my mom can and I can not tell you how painful it is to watch her this way..
On a funny note my husband got the tv again and I can no longer watch my irish show!!! He is watching somthing i do not like.. and the irish stew is done, he ate a bowl and yes it has taken me awhile to write this.. so yes it is late. It takes a while for irish stew as I am sure you know, I like pbs also. I really hope you have a wonder ful night also. I am gonna wait until my husband goes to bed and watch more irish shows!
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