Friends getting old at heart!

HULAGIRL · ‎03-10-2010

Do you find that some of the friends you used to have such a good time with have turned into a bunch of gossipy, complaining, nit-picking old ladies?? I guess I'll always be 30 in my heart......it's kind of sad that I don't enjoy being around these people anymore. I still love to dance, love fashion, love to laugh a lot. Some of my friends have turned into the little old ladies that sit in the same pew every Sunday and make snarky remarkes about everyone who enters church.......who moan and complain about everything and seem miserable in their lives.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@HULAGIRL

I am not really close to some of the people that I once was. I think some of it is me and some of it is them! This is kind of a timely post for me. I seem to have parted ways with a friend recently. Now that I have gotten older my priorities have shifted and things that I used to accept, I now longer do. Behavior that I used to put up with I no longer do. My eyes are opened to a lot of things and I find that some people are really not who I thought they were. Some people were really bringing me down and I just went along with their negativity and bad behavior and recently I decided that I am better off without them. If a friend is not being supportive of you and is in fact, causing you more unhappiness than happiness, than I don't think its a healthy relationship. This might not be exactly what you are going through, but it's sort of similar.

I guess what I find that I am willing to put up with and accept is different from when I was younger. And what makes me happy now is different. I don't like sniping, backbiting, meanness, two-faced people, devious people, etc. I'd rather not have these people in my lives if I can help it.

What I value is a kind heart. I don't need razz-a-ma-tazz. I like real, true, open -- what you see is what you get. You support me in good and bad, and I support you the same way.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

I do believe that we sometimes outgrow our friends; people age differently; we take different paths in life. So, even the best of friends might come to the point at which they have very little in common and worse, they don't enjoy each other's company anymore. I experienced that when I was younger. I was a sahm for almost 10 years and I enjoyed being part of a group of fellow sahms. We were the best of friends. We supported each other through a lot "stuff" in our lives. I thought we would be friends for life but it just didn't work out that way. I changed; I grew; I developed other interests. It's been 20 years and now I can see it clearly but I didn't see it that way at the time. If I had, I might have worked to establish common ties.

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

Someone I have known for 60 years has dementia now

♥Surface of the Sun♥

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@HULAGIRL wrote:
Do you find that some of the friends you used to have such a good time with have turned into a bunch of gossipy, complaining, nit-picking old ladies?? I guess I'll always be 30 in my heart......it's kind of sad that I don't enjoy being around these people anymore. I still love to dance, love fashion, love to laugh a lot. Some of my friends have turned into the little old ladies that sit in the same pew every Sunday and make snarky remarkes about everyone who enters church.......who moan and complain about everything and seem miserable in their lives.

I hope I never turn into one of them.

It's the main reason I will not live in a 55+ community.

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

Hulagirl - I know what you mean. I sit next to a woman at work. And all day long there is something she is compalining about. AND many times she yells at me because she doesn't like something my husband or son does. I am not the least bit mad at my husband and son but she goes on and on - if I retire it is because I am sick of listeing to her.

My husband gets home more than an hour before I do. So he either picks up dinner or makes it. And if he picks up dinner - he will try to keep warm but many times it has cooled down before I get home. Especially if I run errands after work. My co-worker gets so upset, she thinks my husband should wait until I get home before he picks up the meal. Well, many times my son is going out and he is gone before I get home. It is no big deal, I can put it in the microware and reheat it.

No matter what I talk about, she finds fault. And I get lectured on what I am doing wrong and how can I handle everthing better if she was running my life. I must admit, I feel sorry for her. Her only child moved 3,000+ mile away and her husband is never home, when she is. He is very active in youth sports. So she is alone 98% of the time outside of work. She has no firends and I can understand why.

It is sad to see her be so miserable but it is also sad to sit next to her day in and day out and have to listen to her find fault with just about everything and everyone.

Kardi · ‎05-20-2010

It happens to most of us. I try to remember that NOTHING stays the same in life. Those who view the present and future with disapproval and fear are doomed to live in the past, so shrink their world to feel safe and content. To stay young at heart we must embrace change with a confidence in our children and grandchildren. It won't be like our world was but who's to say it won't be better. That being said, all friends are precious in their own way. Remember the old song: Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

My oldest and dearest friends are still that - oldest and dearest "sisters" that I could never live without. Others have come and gone in my life and that is fine but my gang and I are forever. Our husbands put up with each other as they have little in common but we are all still as tight as we have alway been and I can't imagine that will ever change. I retired and moved to Fl and they are all still working, but we love to text and keep in touch through FB and texting short notes almost every day. One of us never married, one is a widow, I was widowed young and remarried, some have kids and some not but we seem to have a bond despite all the differences. I don't know what I would do without them.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

I have separated myself from the friends who complain about everything. Laughing is the most important part of staying young.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

My DH never got the mail yesterday so he just ran up to the mailbox and sure as day turns to night - 5 valentines from the gang.I was all happy to get them and DH laughs and says I don't know why your surprised - it's not like it wasn't a guarantee you would be getting those. I love love love my dear old friends that I can always depend on for small things and large.