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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,084
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Very crude, I think--and disrespectful of your relationship.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

That would be my wife. Of course she does. Just because she married me does not mean she is blind and impervious to what is right in front of her.

hckynut(john)
Super Contributor
Posts: 580
Registered: ‎08-23-2013
On 8/6/2014 nunya said:
On 8/6/2014 tansy said:
On 8/6/2014 happy housewife said:
On 8/6/2014 nunya said:

When I worked in a warehouse, that kind of talk was normal, bosses included.

I still wouldn't appreciate someone I was in a relationship with, talking to another woman like that.

While going to college I worked in an auto parts store - the language was horrible. I would come home and ask my DH what does --- & -- mean and he would be livid that someone said that around me. Sometimes he didn't even know or was too embarrassed to tell me.

I was around 18 when I asked my mother why anyone would call someone a cowsukker. LOL. It took her ages to clue me inSmiley Happy

{#emotions_dlg.lol}

{#emotions_dlg.lol}

Super Contributor
Posts: 580
Registered: ‎08-23-2013
On 8/6/2014 nunya said:

Don't feel bad Tansy. I remember being in grade school and heard a joke from one of the older kids...

I told the whole class AND the teacher ... ended up in the principals office {#emotions_dlg.blushing}

Sorry, but your post made me {#emotions_dlg.lol} Doesn't sound like it was funny at the time, though. Did you get grounded too?

Super Contributor
Posts: 954
Registered: ‎11-06-2011

Seems like it was just banter between co-workers and if this guy is naturally flirtatious, you already know how he behaves. If this bothers you, it is a problem. Don't let him discount your feelings. If he does this a lot and is also a blatant ogler...consider moving on or taking a break.

I think you'd have more to worry about if your S/O seems to be sneaking around. Keeping a close watch on his cell phone, taking more care in his appearance, working late. Mystery friend you never get to meet. Easily becomes defensive if questioned and then tries to tell you its all in your head.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,531
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
The big red flag to me is that he is not acknowledging how you feel and that you're hurt. Instead, he is dismissing your feelings. I can't speak to whether he's done more than this one incident. From what you described what really bothers me that he is ignoring that your feelings are hurt. That does not bode well for a serious relationship.
Super Contributor
Posts: 750
Registered: ‎03-12-2010
On 8/6/2014 funinthesun said: Complicated - me too and he kindly pointed that out. It's my insecurities.

IMO, the fact that he so blithely blew you off and turned it into you being insecure and it's your problem tells me he is an insensitive lout and has engaged in this type of behavior often.

You are correct to be upset. You are not in as serious or committed relationship as you think.

Money doesn't talk; it swears. --Bob Dylan
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 2,620
Registered: ‎05-28-2013
On 8/6/2014 littleblueparakeet said:
On 8/6/2014 nunya said:
On 8/6/2014 tansy said:
On 8/6/2014 happy housewife said:
On 8/6/2014 nunya said:

When I worked in a warehouse, that kind of talk was normal, bosses included.

I still wouldn't appreciate someone I was in a relationship with, talking to another woman like that.

While going to college I worked in an auto parts store - the language was horrible. I would come home and ask my DH what does --- & -- mean and he would be livid that someone said that around me. Sometimes he didn't even know or was too embarrassed to tell me.

I was around 18 when I asked my mother why anyone would call someone a cowsukker. LOL. It took her ages to clue me inSmiley Happy

{#emotions_dlg.lol}

{#emotions_dlg.lol}

LOL!! Have any of you ever seen the Saturday Night Live sketch where they're standing in a wine seller talking about their profession... corksu.ckers? It's so funny when you say it fast it really does sound illicit. LOL

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,245
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

OP, there are plenty of sensitive and respectful men out there. This is not just a "boys will be boys" thing. You don't have to settle for something you don't like.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,839
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
All I know is I had a SO that did this in the past. He would flirt with anyone and said inappropriate things. I put up with it because I thought we had something. 3 years later, I left and wish I did it sooner. Flirting a little bit is one thing but there is a line in my book. I am not speaking for you since I dont know your relationship with him but this is something I would not put up with. Its basic respect. It would be different if he was just looking at other women and you had a problem with that, I mean everyone looks. For me these days, I dont deal with disrespect for too long. Maybe because I put up with it for a lifetime. You have to think about your whole relationship with him and if this is an isolated incident.