Community Chat

[Noel7]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

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@LdyBugz wrote:

I don't know why anyone even bothers to respond to such posters.  I think the key is to just ignore them.  Why stoop to their level? 

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This is an excellent suggestion.

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It's not always all about simply not responding, though. If someone starts a really ridiculous unpleasantly critical thread and no one posts in it, the ugly words are still there for all to see, and they should not be because they invariably violate forum Standards. The posts need to be gone. If no one responds at all in any way, the greater the likelihood the ugliness will stay visible for quite a while.

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I'm with you @Moonchilde

And will add that it's not a given that responding in some way must be stooping to their level. 

[chickenbutt]

I think there are appropriate criticisms.  The ones that came to mind for me, with this thread, are the constant complaints about every little word that some of them say.  

I generally to ignore them, if the thread title is specific to the subject of the thread.  For some reason another thing here is 'leading thread titles' like 'is it just me' or 'what do you think about', etc.  argh!  

The purpose of a thread title is to outline in as few words as possible WHAT the thread is about.

Anyway (sorry, little rant there), I understand some legitimate criticisms.  But so many are just so far beyond nit-picky that it's just strange.  

Then there are the zillion threads a week about what they are presenting - again!  I've seen one that starts threads all the time with some SCREAMING thread title, complaining about everything that's shown.  I'm not one of those 'change the channel' people, but - seriously!   Might be that time.  If I hate that much about something, I'm out.  Carry on, for those who like it and I'll find something else that is more to my pleasing.

Just some of my thoughts, FWIW.  YMMV and that's ok.  

[Moonchilde]

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

@Moonchilde  Can a thread be 'reported on' without responding to it?

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@deepwaterdotter, sure it can. You're reporting an offensive POST most of the time, so you can just click "Report Inappropriate" in that post and give your reasons. The moderators then decide, and take a look at the post and in many cases the thread as a whole.

[Noel7]

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good women to do or say nothing.

[LdyBugz]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

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@LdyBugz wrote:

I don't know why anyone even bothers to respond to such posters.  I think the key is to just ignore them.  Why stoop to their level? 

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This is an excellent suggestion.

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It's not always all about simply not responding, though. If someone starts a really ridiculous unpleasantly critical thread and no one posts in it, the ugly words are still there for all to see, and they should not be because they invariably violate forum Standards. The posts need to be gone. If no one responds at all in any way, the greater the likelihood the ugliness will stay visible for quite a while.

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Yes, the posting might stay if no one reports it as inappropriate or the moderators don't catch it right out of the gate.  Even if it never gets deleted though, I think zero responses to the original post would speak much more loudly.

[Mz iMac]

YUP!

[dooBdoo]

          I'll just repeat what I've said before about this.   So often people use the excuse of constructive criticismm, venting, or important feedback to post negativity.    In truth, actual constructive criticism comes with good intent and doesn't involve personal attacks, but sometimes the nuances are complicated.   I honestly think some of us don't realize we've come across as sounding mean, and the fact is that self-awareness can be difficult.  

          Often, people will bring up "brutal honesty," and I think that's something to be cautious about...  in my experience those who pride themselves in "brutal honesty" find more joy in the butality than in any honesty that might be involved. 

          I think this is key to deciding if the posts are useful:   Does the target of the critique come away edified, educated, and encouraged, or does the person feel hurt and attacked?  I would think that might be a good question to ask before I post my thoughts about a host or anyone else.

          There is such a thing as the art of constructive criticism offered with good intentions and a kind heart.

          I like this quote I saved regarding this topic:

"Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit — the parallel powers of your heart and mind — better than how you give feedback."  (Maria Popova)

[Noel7]

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@LdyBugz wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

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@LdyBugz wrote:

I don't know why anyone even bothers to respond to such posters.  I think the key is to just ignore them.  Why stoop to their level? 

---

This is an excellent suggestion.

---

It's not always all about simply not responding, though. If someone starts a really ridiculous unpleasantly critical thread and no one posts in it, the ugly words are still there for all to see, and they should not be because they invariably violate forum Standards. The posts need to be gone. If no one responds at all in any way, the greater the likelihood the ugliness will stay visible for quite a while.

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Yes, the posting might stay if no one reports it as inappropriate or the moderators don't catch it right out of the gate.  Even if it never gets deleted though, I think zero responses to the original post would speak much more loudly.

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I can tell you for sure, that hasn't worked here.  We've had a few trolls here for several years and they never gave up until they were eventually banned.

[Moonchilde]

@Ms X I'm never sure if you're dissing me or not, and I'm sure that's by design. Always left-handed with the compliments.  😜

Like you, I have strong opinions - *sometimes*, but I don't have them about everything, like some seem to ;-)  I may not like an opinion, but it's the *delivery* of that opinion I may choose to tilt my lance at, especially when IMO the delivery itself was unwarranted.

Quite a few posters who "love to be rude" and confrontational dislike me and aren't shy about saying so. Fine with me.  But I'm very rarely if ever "nasty for nasty's sake" with no provocation at all. I just basically feel that people should own their words, and understand that when the intent behind them is nasty it's obvious.

[mstyrion 1]

When I finally decided to start posting here instead of just reading, I told myself I would never join in on one of the host or vendor bashfests. That's one promise I've not broken to this day.

I've snarked, I've responded on threads I knew were not in compliance with standards and I've gotten my fair share of comments poofed.

I've never started a host/vendor bash thread nor have I joined in on an existing one.

I guess I understand why people love them so much. The same mindset as enjoying cruel tabloid news, I suppose.  It's just nothing I find enjoyable.