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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,984
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

@ms traditional wrote:

@Zhills wrote:

A new robe, maybe, but I would not want socks and underweat for Christmas.  My children never got those either.  They are an everyday necessity... not a gift!


i can certainly remember times in my family's early years when we were grateful for getting the necessities under the tree.  times can be tough -  but the spirit of the holidays is what is important.  


@ms traditional

Me too.  I was just thinking this morning about items given to me for holiday and/or birthday when I was a child several I still have and cherish.  They weren't necessarily expensive, but they mean something to me.

 

I was thinking to myself if kids are like this anymore.  I like to buy special, meaningful gifts for the children in my life, when I find out they get broken or trashed within a year I have decided it just isn't worth my time.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

@Zhills wrote:

A new robe, maybe, but I would not want socks and underweat for Christmas.  My children never got those either.  They are an everyday necessity... not a gift!


This attitude really bothers me, and I don't mean to be disrespectful by that. 

 

Many of us come from backgrounds that ANY gift, no matter how practical or small, was appreciated because we had so little. My parents were able to give us more than they had, and my brother and I have been able to give our kids more than my parents gave us (and not just things, but educational experiences, braces and things like that). My husband came from a family that had nothing. They didn't even get gifts or a tree at the holiday, as there was no money for anything but bare necessities of food, hand me down clothing, and a less than adaquate roof over their heads.

 

But just  because something as simple as socks and underwear are basic necessities, doesn't mean one shouldn't appreciate them, be grateful for them, and realize how many people in this world don't have those things. To have the basic things in life IS A GIFT. No matter how rich one is, it is still a gift to be fortunate enough to have them. 

 

I never gave my kid underwear for Christmas until the last couple of years, because he now only likes the Under Armor kind that run at least $20 a pair. He likes them, they are comfortable to him and they are expensive and out of his price range to afford for himself. So they are very much a gift and appreciated. 

 

I've always given expensive and good socks every year as a gift to each family member though.

 

Maybe I'm old. I've had the Christmases with diamonds, and jewelry. I've had Christmases with much much less. And honestly, those with the simple gifts are more fondly remembered than the lavish ones.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

@deepwaterdotter wrote:

@ms traditional wrote:

@Zhills wrote:

A new robe, maybe, but I would not want socks and underweat for Christmas.  My children never got those either.  They are an everyday necessity... not a gift!


i can certainly remember times in my family's early years when we were grateful for getting the necessities under the tree.  times can be tough -  but the spirit of the holidays is what is important.  


As a child of parents who worked hard to pay the mortgage and keep me clothed and fed, I appreciated a gift of socks, shoes, underwear, or pajamas under the tree.  My grandparents were generous to provide basic clothing items before school started and at Christmas.  I looked forward to a new flannel nightgown and slippers to keep me warm as the new year approached.

These memories from my childhood remind me to treasure the basic necessities of life.  When I choose a family from the Giving Tree in my town, I always include some of the previously-mentioned clothing items (when sizes are provided) in addition to non-clothing items and a grocery store gift card..


Your post reminds me of something my mom and I talk about once in awhile. My grandmother made a lot of our clothing when I was little, as she was quite a good seamstress. Mostly it was our casual clothing for summer and PJ's, some jumpers and blouses for school. 

 

She found the warmest and thickest flannel and made my mom and I nightgowns each Christmas. I didn't really appreciate them then like I would now, but was still glad to get a new one each year. They wore like iron, and we had them for many years.

 

What I wouldn't give to unwrap this Christmas, one more of those beautiful nightgowns handmade by my grandmother. 

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Posts: 32,483
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@151949 wrote:

What has become of the days when you got a nice sweater and skirt or pants as a Christmas gift? And thought that it was a really nice and special present? It seems that - like so many other things in our lives - Christmas gifts have become very excessive. Diamond jewelry - cars - travel to Europe or a cruise seem to be more the norm now a days. I know at least 3 couples who are going on a Christmas cruise as their gift to themselves, and one couple going to Ireland. Geez - what ever happened to buying your DH something from Craftsman? Now they just buy a whole new car, or a Harley. Several years ago DH & I decided to set a $50 limit on any and all gifts for all occasions. It does make one have to think more. Once in a while one of us will exceed that but generally, we keep to that rule.I have been hinting to DH that I need a new robe this year. He is getting a set of sockets he has been drooling over at Sears, socks and underwear. I think I'll leave the world travel to other families.


Sorry but I think this post is no different from berating someone because they are cheap.  I don't think it is anyone's business what other people earn, have inherited, or how they spend their money.  People are people.  Doesn't matater how much money they HAVE or don't have; or spend or don't spend; doesn't mean what kind of human being they are.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 65,680
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Christmas gifts

[ Edited ]

@151949 wrote:

Well, clearly , excessive materialism is the QVC board norm. Why didn't I already know that? DUH to me.


While I do understand your thinking and certainly am familiar with being pleased with a new coat or sweater for Christmas, the accusation of "excessive materialism" seems to rather unfairly be casting a pretty wide net that might or might not be accurate... There are differing standards of living out there... While some folks are clearly 'guilty' of conspicuous consumption, some are just enjoying the things they can afford to enjoy. There's nothing wrong with that... 

 

As the gulf between the haves and have nots continues to widen and as the middle class continues to shrink, we'll only see more and more instances of those with the means being perceived by those whose means are more limited as 'excessive'. In some instances that perception might be accurate, but in others it's nothing more than perception...


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

@Allegheny wrote:

@ms traditional wrote:

@Zhills wrote:

A new robe, maybe, but I would not want socks and underweat for Christmas.  My children never got those either.  They are an everyday necessity... not a gift!


i can certainly remember times in my family's early years when we were grateful for getting the necessities under the tree.  times can be tough -  but the spirit of the holidays is what is important.  


@ms traditional

Me too.  I was just thinking this morning about items given to me for holiday and/or birthday when I was a child several I still have and cherish.  They weren't necessarily expensive, but they mean something to me.

 

I was thinking to myself if kids are like this anymore.  I like to buy special, meaningful gifts for the children in my life, when I find out they get broken or trashed within a year I have decided it just isn't worth my time.

 


 

It's difficult in today's world, with splits, divorces, separations, etc. to create and maintain a sense of proportion for kids. I have a family member raising children as a single mom with "involved" grandparents and various SOs. She raises her kids to give to the less fortunate, volunteer on trips to foreign orphanages, etc. They are not "spoiled" in the "anything I want" sense.

 

But OMG at Xmas these kids get SO MUCH from so many different family members that they have 3-4 gift openings a Xmas, and clothing is considered (by them) to be a non-gift. Anything other than a "toy" (which includes electronics) is tossed in a pile, never to be regarded again.

 

I usually give a gift card to the older and a toy to the younger. This year I bought "things" as opposed to gift cards. But I understand that "one more gift" is pretty meaningless to them just because of the sheer overload. So I don't over-spend, and don't feel guilty.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,483
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Wanting nice things, wanting to live well is an incentive for people to work hard and be productive.  The way the world works now, you don't HAVE to work in this country.  So,like it or not, materialistic goals are why people try to earn more money.

 

Or you can live in the woods on practically nothing if you don't want anything or don't want anything enough to work and earn money or simply someone who can't spend money.

 

BUT when you CHOOSE to criticize others for spending money you can't complain if people call YOU a cheapskate.  If you are a cheapskate and very proud of that and brag about it, then you have your reward the same way others have material things as their reward.  There is NO difference.  It is simply a matter of choice here we're talking about.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,136
Registered: ‎06-03-2010

@151949 wrote:

What has become of the days when you got a nice sweater and skirt or pants as a Christmas gift? And thought that it was a really nice and special present? It seems that - like so many other things in our lives - Christmas gifts have become very excessive. Diamond jewelry - cars - travel to Europe or a cruise seem to be more the norm now a days. I know at least 3 couples who are going on a Christmas cruise as their gift to themselves, and one couple going to Ireland. Geez - what ever happened to buying your DH something from Craftsman? Now they just buy a whole new car, or a Harley. Several years ago DH & I decided to set a $50 limit on any and all gifts for all occasions. It does make one have to think more. Once in a while one of us will exceed that but generally, we keep to that rule.I have been hinting to DH that I need a new robe this year. He is getting a set of sockets he has been drooling over at Sears, socks and underwear. I think I'll leave the world travel to other families.


I would think the couples that you know, if they are friends of yours, are probably in their "golden years"........they've raised the kids, the house is paid off and now it's their time to do the things, like  travel, they always wanted to do, but work and family kept them from it........I say, enjoy the trip, enjoy the adventure, they've earned it.........if they still need an excuse to spend that money on themselves, like a xmas gift to each other, then go on ahead and use it.

 

If hubs needs a tool........he buys it...........If I need a robe..........I buy it...........and he sure as heck isn't walking around in holey underwear while he waits for xmas to get new ones.......................................raven

We're not in Kansas anymore ToTo
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,534
Registered: ‎10-05-2010

My husband gets socks and underwear every year.  Then I have at least six months without his moaning every day that the elastic is all stretched out!

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Posts: 6,504
Registered: ‎05-22-2014

Re: Christmas gifts

[ Edited ]

I know this won't be a popular post, so I'm prepared.

 

My DH and I were brought up without a lot.  Because we put ourselves through college (and I did my stint as an adult with kids), we were able to get things our parents could never dream of.  We sacrificed a lot raising and educating a family, both working very hard.  We have been so blessed to have a comfortable retirement.

 

That said, I'm in agreement that many of us Americans are too materialistic.  Even though many of us share with those lacking, we still spend too much on stuff we think is going to create happiness.  So much is overkill.  How many of us have stockpiles of stuff we will never really use?  Anyone who has knowledge about so many European cultures knows that is generally - yes generally - not the case there.  They are happier with much less.  We have traveled, visited with relatives abroad, and seen it in person.  

 

You may disagree with me.  But I think many of us have chased a lifestyle that is materialistic.  Even when you can afford it, things don't buy happiness.  Experiences, trips, etc., are different because they truly enrich your life.  To me, at least.