Buying a house with a significant other? - Page 10

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

@The Monkey on My Back wrote:
I wonder if the OP intends on returning to this thread.

Probably not. Lol

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

My gut on this is don't do it. But then I don't know enough about the situation or either of you.

Also pertinent would be the laws of your state as to community property and such.

Shelbelle · ‎03-09-2010

I once heard Judge Judy say on a talk show, it is fine to cohabitate, but never buy an expensive item like real estate, cars , boats, etc with someone you are not married to.

carlycat · ‎06-07-2010

Hello, all, OP here.

No, I am NOT going to do this. I think it's ridiculous, and the quote from Maya Angelou did cross my mind. However, he was quite adamant with me that ANYONE would see his logic, so I was checking with everyone.

My brother and I are selling the house because we don't want to keep it. I own my own home and it is paid for. The BF just sold his home for a small profit and would rein invest that $ in my mother's home and he and I would jointly own it rather than selling it.

Frankly I was shocked that he said he would leave his "half" to his children and I am reconsidering the entire relationship. I agree with all of you. I'm sad, but better now than later. By the way, my brother said, "no way."

Shelbelle · ‎03-09-2010

You keep the house as is now and tell him to rent office space just like everyone else does!!!

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Sounds like you have it nailed, Carly!

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

A partner is a partner, so he has stated his own wishes about the investment in part of the house you would co-own.

If it makes you uneasy you shouldn't do it. It's honest of him to be upfront that he would want his invested money to be split among his children. If you do stay together, it could prevent some conflict, too.

If you don't want that deal, you don't take it. I do not think it is a negative comment on his character. Honesty in such matters is rather rare, and refreshing.

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@carlycat wrote:
Ladies, appreciate your thoughts on this situation . I am 60 and engaged to a nice man who is 63. I own my deceased mother's house with my brother, and my fiancée needs a house to use as his office. He does not currently own another home. We cere considering having him buy the other half of my mother's house from my brother, so that my fiancée and I would own it together.
However, he told me, that even if we got married, even if we owned it together for 10 years, he would leave his "half" of the house to his four adult children from his previous three marriages. He said he would let me use it as long as I wanted, but that he would not leave his "half" to me.
I feel this is wrong and unreasonable, especially if we were married. He says I am unreasonable and anyone would agree with him. He had a very expensive third divorce and says he's not losing that kind of money again. Your thoughts, please.

@carlycat

I would recommend that you get to know this guy a little better before tying the knot. Money problems can be bad when you're married, but REALLY bad when you're not. There's probably a good reason that he has 3 failed marriages already. Sounds like you should cool it and NOT get into any "financial arrangements" (including marriage) with this man.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

All the best to you, OP. You have a rare opportunity to assess his character in light of his suggestion that he use the house for his business, not to mention his reaction to your misgivings. Only you can decide the pluses and minuses of these revelations, but think about them in depth before you say or do anything definitive. Unless I was going to walk away immediately, I would think about this at least until after the new year.

momtochloe · ‎11-03-2013

@carlycat wrote:
Hello, all, OP here.
No, I am NOT going to do this. I think it's ridiculous, and the quote from Maya Angelou did cross my mind. However, he was quite adamant with me that ANYONE would see his logic, so I was checking with everyone.
My brother and I are selling the house because we don't want to keep it. I own my own home and it is paid for. The BF just sold his home for a small profit and would rein invest that $ in my mother's home and he and I would jointly own it rather than selling it.
Frankly I was shocked that he said he would leave his "half" to his children and I am reconsidering the entire relationship. I agree with all of you. I'm sad, but better now than later. By the way, my brother said, "no way."

Oh @carlycat I had a post all drafted but then thought I should read through other responses before I posted and I am glad I did especially reading yours. I was in a somewhat similar situation and trust me you are doing the right thing. I wish you the very best, you sound like a wonderful person and deserve it!

eta: Is your brother married? He sounds like a great and very smart guy!