Billed for being a no show at wedding - Page 11

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@italia8140 wrote:
@missy1 wrote:
@Danky wrote:
@MaggieMack wrote:
@Danky wrote:
The most shocking thing about this thread is that people consider $76/couple
a lot of money for a wedding reception..........was it held in the basement of McDonald's ?
I provided the venue ( my yard ) for a friend's daughter's wedding this summer.
It cost them nothing.......however, if you figured the cost of all reception expenses and divided by the number of guests, the cost was $452 PER GUEST.
They did not expect each guest to offset the cost with a comparable gift but they certainly expected that every effort be made to attend if the RSVP was returned with a yes.( Invited NON-responders were refused admittance, by security, at the gate.)
$452 per guest is outrageous. Let's say there were 100 guests, that would be $45,000! Why not elope and use that money for the down payment on a house? Or completely refurnish a house if they already have one. Or, or, or . . . I must truly be behind the times because spending that kind of money on a wedding is ridiculous. Unless the parents are gazillionaires and have to keep up a public image.
Actually, there were 158 guests. The wedding/reception costs were approximately $115,000....that did not include the festivities prior or the honeymoon.
It was the wedding the bride wanted. It was a wedding that her parents could afford. There is no "keeping up an image" involved and, I can assure you, they will not be living in a refrigerator box outfitted with used furniture....LOL

Ridiculous for one day!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the OPINION of those who can't afford an expensive wedding.

That's the opinion of someone practical.

debic · ‎09-02-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@italia8140 wrote:
@missy1 wrote:
@Danky wrote:
@MaggieMack wrote:
@Danky wrote:
The most shocking thing about this thread is that people consider $76/couple
a lot of money for a wedding reception..........was it held in the basement of McDonald's ?
I provided the venue ( my yard ) for a friend's daughter's wedding this summer.
It cost them nothing.......however, if you figured the cost of all reception expenses and divided by the number of guests, the cost was $452 PER GUEST.
They did not expect each guest to offset the cost with a comparable gift but they certainly expected that every effort be made to attend if the RSVP was returned with a yes.( Invited NON-responders were refused admittance, by security, at the gate.)
$452 per guest is outrageous. Let's say there were 100 guests, that would be $45,000! Why not elope and use that money for the down payment on a house? Or completely refurnish a house if they already have one. Or, or, or . . . I must truly be behind the times because spending that kind of money on a wedding is ridiculous. Unless the parents are gazillionaires and have to keep up a public image.
Actually, there were 158 guests. The wedding/reception costs were approximately $115,000....that did not include the festivities prior or the honeymoon.
It was the wedding the bride wanted. It was a wedding that her parents could afford. There is no "keeping up an image" involved and, I can assure you, they will not be living in a refrigerator box outfitted with used furniture....LOL

Ridiculous for one day!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the OPINION of those who can't afford an expensive wedding.

That's the opinion of someone practical.

I agree. We went to Vegas as we couldn't imagine spending so much on a formal wedding. Yes we could have afforded it. Even our reception was a small immediate family thing.

I don't begrudge people having fancy weddings if they can afford it, but I wouldn't put my parents/myself in debt to do it.

Myself, I applaud them for going public, sending a bill is ridiculous. They deserve to be humiliated.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

Reminds me of the husband of a co-worker of ours who gave out invitations to a "surprise" birthday party for our co-worker. There were about 25 of us. When the bill came at the end of the very nice occasion (we had all brought gifts), he went around the table asking for money from everyone.

Of course, everyone paid up, but some folks were furious. When our co-worker saw this, she was so embarrassed, we all felt so sorry for her, she was such a well-loved person.

Some people just don't have a clue.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Hi, Lilac! Haven't seen (read) you for quite a while! Reminds me of friends, many years ago, who were invited to a salmon dinner at someone's house. As they were leaving, they were asked for money for the dinner. They paid, of course, but were shocked; hadn't ever heard of that type of custom or whatever.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@italia8140 wrote:
@missy1 wrote:
@Danky wrote:
@MaggieMack wrote:
@Danky wrote:
The most shocking thing about this thread is that people consider $76/couple
a lot of money for a wedding reception..........was it held in the basement of McDonald's ?
I provided the venue ( my yard ) for a friend's daughter's wedding this summer.
It cost them nothing.......however, if you figured the cost of all reception expenses and divided by the number of guests, the cost was $452 PER GUEST.
They did not expect each guest to offset the cost with a comparable gift but they certainly expected that every effort be made to attend if the RSVP was returned with a yes.( Invited NON-responders were refused admittance, by security, at the gate.)
$452 per guest is outrageous. Let's say there were 100 guests, that would be $45,000! Why not elope and use that money for the down payment on a house? Or completely refurnish a house if they already have one. Or, or, or . . . I must truly be behind the times because spending that kind of money on a wedding is ridiculous. Unless the parents are gazillionaires and have to keep up a public image.
Actually, there were 158 guests. The wedding/reception costs were approximately $115,000....that did not include the festivities prior or the honeymoon.
It was the wedding the bride wanted. It was a wedding that her parents could afford. There is no "keeping up an image" involved and, I can assure you, they will not be living in a refrigerator box outfitted with used furniture....LOL

Ridiculous for one day!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the OPINION of those who can't afford an expensive wedding.

That's the opinion of someone practical.

Maybe, but it's still just an opinion. I'm not sure if I would or wouldn't spend that much if I had it, but I don't judge anyone for how much money they spend on their wedding. It's not up to me. Their wedding, their decision, their choice. If they can afford it and that's what they want to do, then why not?

I've been to some weddings that I would label "ridiculous", but never because of how much money they spent or didn't spend. (And to some people, $100,000-plus is not a lot of money for a day as special as a wedding.)

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@ROMARY wrote:
Hi, Lilac! Haven't seen (read) you for quite a while! Reminds me of friends, many years ago, who were invited to a salmon dinner at someone's house. As they were leaving, they were asked for money for the dinner. They paid, of course, but were shocked; hadn't ever heard of that type of custom or whatever.

This reminds me of something similar that happened to my cousin. (I've posted this here once before, a few years ago.)

She was living in LA at the time, Thanksgiving was coming, and she was kind of lonely for her family in NY. She knew the wife of a very famous celebrity chef (I won't say who, but he is on TV all the time and you all know who he is.) The chef & his wife invited my cousin to join their family for Thanksgiving, and she gratefully accepted. She arrived with an expensive bottle of wine and joined them, their family, and a few of their friends for a wonderful Thanksgiving feast. As the evening started to wind down, they were each presented with a bill for the dinner. She was completely shocked, but of course she paid. It was a lot of money too, far more than she ever would have been willing to pay if she had known.

I have never viewed this chef the same way since, and every time I see him I think about my cousin & how awful that was.

BeckiWV · ‎04-12-2011

Tacky to send a bill, tacky to run to the media with it. Enough tacky to go around IMO.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@BeckiWV wrote:
Tacky to send a bill, tacky to run to the media with it. Enough tacky to go around IMO.

I agree.

The people who made this public are no better than the ones who sent the bill. If you care about the friendship, you try to work it out privately. And if you don't, then it's best to simply shrug your shoulders & move on.

But - as I said upthread - I'm sure there's more to this story.

straykatz · ‎03-09-2010

I think if you are going to charge anyone for being a no show with an RVSP then you need to state it up front on the invitation.

Same if you are invited as a guest to someone's house for dinner...if you expect them to pay for their meal at your house then at least tell them in advance they will be billed for the meal not after they have eaten.

debic · ‎09-02-2010

I recently went to a Greek buffet given by friends of my nephew at a drag racing event. It was amazing, lot's of people came to it, outdoors like a BBQ. I didn't even know them but we were with our nephew so we were invited. People tried to give them money but they refused and were offended that people tried to pay them. I would have went to a paid thing like that, but to ask for money at the end is pretty bad, I wouldn't pay personally.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*