Community Chat

[Love4cats]

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@PamfromCT wrote:

@Love4cats and all dealing with depression:  I applaud you for your honesty and willingness to share your journey with our community.  I can only hope you have served to enlighten others who are open to learning about this devastating illness.

I have known two people who have lost their lives to this disease.  People should understand this is not to be condemned as selfishness or weakness - it is a disease that no one wants.  I hope and pray that everyone seeking treatment can find a therapist who can offer medications and coping skills.

You are important here.  You are valued here.  Please know that we are here for you.  You are very brave to open up, surely knowing there is still much ignorance about your condition.  All my best wishes and a virtual hug to all!

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@PamfromCT Thank you for the kind word's. I am hanging in there. My DH and I are both going through a tough time. My husband is dealing with cancer right now. He was diagnosed with Marginal Zone Lymphoma 3 year's ago and went through 6 month's of chemo which brought his IGM number's down, but 8 month's ago the number's started to rise again meaning the cancer is active again. I try to stay positive and encouraging for him, but it's not alway's easy. Some day's he look's so bad it scare's me. We own and operate a business but some day's I am not sure how long we can keep going, but we take it one day at a time. My husband is 71 this year and I am 66 and we are hoping to retire soon. 

[SeaMaiden]

1. @Love4cats Than You for the  correction. 

  I am so sorry you and your DH are going through such difficult times with his illness. I only wish for better days ahead for you both.

~SeaMaiden~

[Hetshepshut]

If you read Naomi's book, River of Time, you would know that she did both in-patient and out patient programs. She was also involuntarily held in two psychiatric units, Vanderbilt and UCLA. She was prescribed numerous medications to no avail. The medications that finally did have a positive affect were lithium and an MAOI (last resorts) and still only worked to a degree. She received 24 ECT (electroconvulsive treatments) that did not work. She became addicted to very strong benzodiazepines due to her debilitating panic attacks. She had a long line of relatives on both sides of her family that had serious mental illness. She experienced levels of trauma that were unimaginable. She had access to some of the best psychiatric doctors in the country. She tried cognitive therapy as well as dialectical behavioral therapy. She had family who loved her deeply. And not all the money and privilege she had was enough to "cure" her mental illness. She adored her daughters and her husband, but this woman lived through hell on earth and could not continue to struggle with this disease anymore. And as far as I'm concerned, unless anyone has walked a mile in her shoes, no one has the right to sit in judgment of her.  Frankly, I can't believe she hung on as long as she did. 

[panda1234]

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@Love4cats wrote:

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@panda1234 wrote:

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@Love4cats wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

I  would have thought a drug overdose would be what she would choose... shooting yourself is so awful.. painful... can not imagine the state of sadness and desperation  she must have been in.... 

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It could be that she tried to overdose, but because it wasn't immediate she choose to shoot herself.

The saddest part of it all is, she knew her daughter was there and would most likely be the one to find her.

That gives me the chills.

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@Lucky Charm   I personally feel mostly anger at those who choose to kill themselves... It is a very selfish choice when you have close family like she did that have to clean up the mess....

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@SeaMaiden Your comment shows your ignorance on the subject. I have suffered from depression most of my life. My Dr say's mine is very difficult to treat. I attempted to take my life at 17 year's old. I would not wish mental illness on my worst emeny. I felt hopeless and unloved by my parent's and was in such a dark place that I could not take it anymore. My parents did not beleive in med's. I just wanted to end the mental anguish and stop the pain I was in. It was not until I was 30 years old that I decided to seek help. I went through h*ll looking for the right medication to help and finally found a Dr that put me on meds for depression and anxiety which has help alot, but there are still time's in my life that dark thought's enter my mind. There are time's the depression will reappear and I struggle daily until it passe's. People with depression DON'T want to die, they want the unrelenting pain to go away. My heart breaks when I read of anybody who takes their own life, I just wish I could have talked to them and say: just hang on, it will get better." My heart breaks for their family too, left with unanswered question's. Don't judge people until you have walked a mile in their shoe's, it makes you look ignorant, unkind and a person unable to feel for what another human is feeling.

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@Love4cats @My 26 year old suffers from depression that does not respond to meds. Today we are going into our sixth week of a dark depression. So many people have suggested her getting a job and she would be better. I can not make them understand that is not how it works. Until you live with or have depression you can not truly appreciate it.

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@panda1234 I am so sorry your daughter is struggling with this horrible, debilitating illness. People don't understand what your daughter is going through, no one can unless they have gone through it. They don't understand that nothing helps, and they don't understand that you can't work, you become paralyed, and can't even do the normal daily activity's like bathing or chore's around the house. There are time's when you are having a terrible episode that your mind does not stop torturing you,  and it does not just affect your thought's, it affect's your whole body, This is not an illness that people can "see", it's not like a broken leg or arm or a cold or flu. It is invisible to other people and it's easy for them to say: just get a job or get out and take a walk or just snap out of it.  When I am going through a low my sister can see that I am not doing well, as much as I try to act ok, she can see it in face face and hear it in my voice. The person who suffer's from this illness can feel a low coming on and there is nothing they can do to stop it, they are helpless to control what there mind and body is going to inflict on them, again and again and again, then one day you wake up in the morning and the torture is over, but you know at some point the monster will return and destroy your peace and happiness again. It is a cruel illness and most people just can't understand it. My heart hurt's for your daughter and for you having to see her going through this and being unable to help her. Just love her and be there for her.

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@Love4cats Your words brought tears to my eyes. You spoke the truth, every word of it. Her depression is drug resistant. We have been told by three doctors there is nothing left they can do. I call mental illness a cancer of the soul because it is. If I hear getting a job is the cure I will scream. She would love to work, at one time she had two jobs and went to school. Who would hire her now? She is not dependable, we never know how she is going to feel in the morning when she gets up. She has done volunteer work but again you have to be dependable and be there when scheduled. I just wanted to thank you for your comments. 

[panda1234]

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@panda1234 wrote:

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@Love4cats wrote:

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@panda1234 wrote:

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@Love4cats wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

I  would have thought a drug overdose would be what she would choose... shooting yourself is so awful.. painful... can not imagine the state of sadness and desperation  she must have been in.... 

---

It could be that she tried to overdose, but because it wasn't immediate she choose to shoot herself.

The saddest part of it all is, she knew her daughter was there and would most likely be the one to find her.

That gives me the chills.

---

@Lucky Charm   I personally feel mostly anger at those who choose to kill themselves... It is a very selfish choice when you have close family like she did that have to clean up the mess....

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@SeaMaiden Your comment shows your ignorance on the subject. I have suffered from depression most of my life. My Dr say's mine is very difficult to treat. I attempted to take my life at 17 year's old. I would not wish mental illness on my worst emeny. I felt hopeless and unloved by my parent's and was in such a dark place that I could not take it anymore. My parents did not beleive in med's. I just wanted to end the mental anguish and stop the pain I was in. It was not until I was 30 years old that I decided to seek help. I went through h*ll looking for the right medication to help and finally found a Dr that put me on meds for depression and anxiety which has help alot, but there are still time's in my life that dark thought's enter my mind. There are time's the depression will reappear and I struggle daily until it passe's. People with depression DON'T want to die, they want the unrelenting pain to go away. My heart breaks when I read of anybody who takes their own life, I just wish I could have talked to them and say: just hang on, it will get better." My heart breaks for their family too, left with unanswered question's. Don't judge people until you have walked a mile in their shoe's, it makes you look ignorant, unkind and a person unable to feel for what another human is feeling.

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@Love4cats @My 26 year old suffers from depression that does not respond to meds. Today we are going into our sixth week of a dark depression. So many people have suggested her getting a job and she would be better. I can not make them understand that is not how it works. Until you live with or have depression you can not truly appreciate it.

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@panda1234 I am so sorry your daughter is struggling with this horrible, debilitating illness. People don't understand what your daughter is going through, no one can unless they have gone through it. They don't understand that nothing helps, and they don't understand that you can't work, you become paralyed, and can't even do the normal daily activity's like bathing or chore's around the house. There are time's when you are having a terrible episode that your mind does not stop torturing you,  and it does not just affect your thought's, it affect's your whole body, This is not an illness that people can "see", it's not like a broken leg or arm or a cold or flu. It is invisible to other people and it's easy for them to say: just get a job or get out and take a walk or just snap out of it.  When I am going through a low my sister can see that I am not doing well, as much as I try to act ok, she can see it in face face and hear it in my voice. The person who suffer's from this illness can feel a low coming on and there is nothing they can do to stop it, they are helpless to control what there mind and body is going to inflict on them, again and again and again, then one day you wake up in the morning and the torture is over, but you know at some point the monster will return and destroy your peace and happiness again. It is a cruel illness and most people just can't understand it. My heart hurt's for your daughter and for you having to see her going through this and being unable to help her. Just love her and be there for her.

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@Love4cats Your words brought tears to my eyes. You spoke the truth, every word of it. Her depression is drug resistant. We have been told by three doctors there is nothing left they can do. I call mental illness a cancer of the soul because it is. If I hear getting a job is the cure I will scream. She would love to work, at one time she had two jobs and went to school. Who would hire her now? She is not dependable, we never know how she is going to feel in the morning when she gets up. She has done volunteer work but again you have to be dependable and be there when scheduled. I just wanted to thank you for your comments. 

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@Love4cats Forgot something. You said your sister can tell it is coming in your voice. Just this past year I can hear it in her voice for the first time. She gets a monotone, flat pitch in her and i know it is here. 

[JJsMom]

I am going to be judgey here and just say it. What she did to Ashley was cruel. Now Ashley has to carry the burden of finding her in what was undoubtedly a gruesome scene. I have compassion for those who are so desperate that they see suicide as the only way out of their pain, but I can also find the manner in which they choose to do it cruel. 

[PamfromCT]

This is spoken with love and compassion, not to simplify this terrible disease.

Some people have found love and comfort from therapy animals, I understand.  Of course, some folks might benefit and some not.

Just a small thought, not to demean, but to be helpful.

[Love4cats]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

1. @Love4cats Than You for the  correction. 

  I am so sorry you and your DH are going through such difficult times with his illness. I only wish for better days ahead for you both.

~SeaMaiden~

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No worry's @SeaMaiden I can understand that anyone who has not been affected by mental illness would have difficulty understanding the extent to which it ravage's not just your mind but your body. It is really an illness that affect's not only the person but all those who love them. My father suffered terribly from mental illness, having extreme high's and low's. In his day people rarely sought help for it, it's wrong to even talk about. When my father was dying of cancer he decided to try an anti-depressant and he actually felt better. It breaks my heart to know that if only he had tried med's much earlier in his life, his life would have been so much better. Most day's I do ok and thank God my husband has stood by me for 47 year's, there are time's when I don't know why he stay's, I did not mean to bite your head off, I just get a little sensitive about the subject and I am not the most tactful person.

[SeaMaiden]

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@Love4cats wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

1. @Love4cats Than You for the  correction. 

  I am so sorry you and your DH are going through such difficult times with his illness. I only wish for better days ahead for you both.

~SeaMaiden~

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No worry's @SeaMaiden I can understand that anyone who has not been affected by mental illness would have difficulty understanding the extent to which it ravage's not just your mind but your body. It is really an illness that affect's not only the person but all those who love them. My father suffered terribly from mental illness, having extreme high's and low's. In his day people rarely sought help for it, it's wrong to even talk about. When my father was dying of cancer he decided to try an anti-depressant and he actually felt better. It breaks my heart to know that if only he had tried med's much earlier in his life, his life would have been so much better. Most day's I do ok and thank God my husband has stood by me for 47 year's, there are time's when I don't know why he stay's, I did not mean to bite your head off, I just get a little sensitive about the subject and I am not the most tactful person.

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@Love4cats  ThankYou for the enlightenment 

[KKJ]

@Love4cats I so feel for you and totally get what you're saying. I too have battled depression and anxiety issues most of my life with meds not helping much.  Also deal with the ignorance of close relatives who don't understand and tell me if I just "stay busy" and try harder to get my mind off my worries, it will all be better.  smh