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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,142
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

@Trailrun23 - It seems simple to me. Her sons are grieving. Your DH is their dad. He should do anything he can to be there with them and for them. 

Contributor
Posts: 21
Registered: ‎08-04-2015

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

Stay out of it.  Ever heard the saying "bloods thicker than water"

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,623
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

Why should he go to a funeral of someone he has been divorced from for 30 years?  The sons have a relationship with their mother, he doesn't.  If your husband is not well, he should just tell his adult sons he is not physically able to travel.  I think it's odd that the sons expect him to attend.  They should be able to handle the situation on their own.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,566
Registered: ‎03-10-2013

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

I attended my exes funeral and sat on the front row with my kids at their request.   I was there to support my kids not my ex.

 

 

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,526
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

[ Edited ]

I personally don't think there's anything to question about this.

 

This woman was his sons' mother.  They are grieving over their mother and want their father there to support them.  I understand that he doesn't want to go, but as their only surviving parent, he should be there for his sons.

 

I know you said they are 52 and 46 years old.  Age doesn't matter.  They are still two sons who have lost their mother, even if they weren't close with her at the time of her death.  He should go and be there for his children.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,021
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

I would probably go to the funeral, in particular if it was close by.  My question is to the OP, in your original post, why was it necessary to insert the part about the deceased being married 4 times, etc?  To stress the fact that she was a 'loser'?  I don't think that how many times she was married has anything to do with whether your husband goes or not goes to her funeral.  May she rest in peace.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,497
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

It does seem like the son's want to show that their family was important to their dad.  He should go.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,453
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

Sometimes you just don't know how you will feel when a parent dies .

 

My mother and father divorced before I was 2.  I think I saw my dad 3 times in my life after that before he died - when I was 29.  He had no interest in me and never even paid child suppot.

 

My mother blamed me for the divorce and told me ever after that I had ruined her life by "driving my dad away."  She died when I was 60.

 

I really didn't expect to feel sadness for either - yet I did.  I even cried when my mother died - and I almost never cry.

 

So don't be so hard on your stepson.  If I were his dad (or stepmom), I'd go and support him.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,990
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

It's not the funeral for someone but,giving support to his sons.

If this should happen to me and believe me it could,I would go just to give my sons support.

And there was no one left to speak out for me....
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,761
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: Akward request to attend funeral

The sons are being immature; they should understand and respect your husband's reason(s) for not attending.