Advice on a marriage....agree or disagree

Sunnyfield · ‎04-20-2010

First of all, I should say that I have been married three tiimes - the last one took (30 years!)...

Anyway, I remember my mom telling me "always have your own money" and "your husband does not need to know everything" - the last comment now referring to anything hurtful or dishonest, but some things better kept to yourself. I have followed that advice.

I am just curious as to whether you all would agree or disagree with those words of wisdom....

MyGirlsMom · ‎03-09-2010

Have your own money and if you can, your own bathroom.

Keep Your Face To The Sunshine and You Will Not See The Shadow

Mustang Shar · ‎03-24-2010

Totally agree!!!!

NoelSeven · ‎03-09-2010

I do agree, with both points.

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dex · ‎03-09-2010

Some things should be left unsaid and hurtful things in particular.I don't believe any good can come from hurting those that you love.Treat your husband with love and respect and also expect the same from him.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

If I had to advise a young woman about marriage, I would advise her to choose a man of sterling character.

My mother never said that to me, but I learned by example. I won't say my parents were perfect, because they weren't. However, there was never any possibility that my father would cheat on my mother or that they would divorce. They met in high school in Boston and were the only ones for each other EVER. While that's not a modern goal, good character, honesty and fidelity trump all.

You can think you're perfectly suited for someone or be insanely infatuated (and thinking you're perfectly suited), but if someone lies, steals even on a small scale, or otherwise exhibits bad character, it's best to let it go. Walk away! It's a matter of short-term pain vs. long-term pain when you're dealing with someone who doesn't meet the highest standards of personal behavior.

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

in agreement with both points.

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

No, I do not agree. DH and I will be celebrating 40 years of marriage this Christmas. We have always had a joint savings/checking accounts and never any problems with it. He has never questioned what purchases I have made nor me him. Of course, I have never gone out and emptied our accounts but was free to spend. I respect him and would never want to do anything to undermine our relationship. We share our lives with each other and trust each other implicitly. I have always said that he was the nicest man I knew, and I still mean it. He completes me.......................

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

@dex wrote:
Some things should be left unsaid and hurtful things in particular.I don't believe any good can come from hurting those that you love.Treat your husband with love and respect and also expect the same from him.

You can tell the truth and always tell the truth but you don't have to tell ALL the truth. Some things are better left unsaid!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I totally agree that a woman should have her own money and her own income. I raised my girls that way. If your marriage fails, it will break your heart. But never put yourself in position where a divorce can break YOU. I've been married for 33 years, happily. We are a,couple. But we are also individuals, we are not joined at the hip. Of course there are things I don't tell him.....and things he doesn't tell me. However, we both know things that we should tell each other.