Blogs

[#1]

Courtney is a jewelry buyer at QVC so I got to get to know her pretty well throughout my years here. I discovered that her mother had breast cancer when Courtney was only 14 years old. I was intertested to see how a child felt during this process, and this really opened my eyes. Breast cancer awareness is extremely important, and by sharing these stories, I am hoping to inspire women everywhere. See what Courtney had to say during this hard time in her family's life. 

N:  How old were you when your mom was diagnosed? 

C:  14 years old

N: What was your initial reaction?

C:  I remember she had been going in for frequent appointments because of cysts.  The day my mom found out she had breast cancer, I was at school.  I went to basketball practice like normal.  My Dad picked me after practice like normal. When I got in the car I asked how the appointment had gone and he just looked at me & didn’t say anything.  I just knew.  I was crying on the way home, but my dad said that my mom was really upset and that I should try to pull it together for her, so I did the best I could.  It was really tough.  And since I was so young, I really didn’t know what it meant.  I was scared.

N: Do you have siblings?

C:  Yes.  One younger sister.  She was 10 at the time.

N:  Did you feel like you had to protect her? 

C:  No. I never felt like I had to be “in charge” or was “in charge” because of  all the help we were getting from family, people at work & close friends.  I don’t think she really understood much, except that mom was sick. 

N:  Were your friends a big help?

C:  It was tough to talk to kids at school about it.  One of my best friends stopped talking to me. 

N :  That must have been tough.

C:  It was.  I thought, “How could she do this to me when I need her the most?”  Looking back, I think she just didn’t know how to help me.  But, it’s made me a lot more empathetic towards people now. I try not to take everything at face value. You never know what someone’s going through behind the scenes.   

N:  If you could go back, what would you say to your friends now?

C:  I would Tell my friends, “ Listen. I don’t need you to fix this.  You don’t need to make me feel better.  Just listen to what I’m feeling. Just don’t shut me out.  I don’t need to talk about it all the time.  Let’s just go to a movie or get something to eat.  Let me be normal for a minute.”

N:  What advice would give to the parent(s) of teenagers?

C:  Just be open & listen. I felt like there are words you couldn’t say, like, cancer.  As a child you don’t want to be afraid to ask questions.  It’s important that the other parent, or another adult, keep an eye on the kids.  Keep the communication open & take time to do normal, family things. 

N:  What advice would you give to a teen whose mom was diagnosed with breast cancer?

C:  Everyone is different.  If you like to write, journal.  If you’re a talker, find a good listener.  However you best process information, find a positive outlet!   I was reluctant to talk at all.  I dealt with things on my own.  I felt everyone was in survival mode.  But looking back, I don’t think anyone would have said  I was a burden because I wanted to talk about it.  So, it really depends upon your personality type. 

N:  Do you remember anyone parent from your childhood who had been sick? 

C:  Not really.  When I was in 9^th grade I was on the basketball team and one of the players’ mom had breast cancer, but I didn’t find out until years later.

N:  Do you feel like we’ve made progress in being more open about the disease? 

C:  Yes, because of education.  As society becomes media-centric with awareness, it’s getting better. 

N:  How’s your mom today? 

C:  Great!  She’ll be 10 years cancer-free March 2016!

N:  How did it change your relationship? 

C:  She’s my best friend!  We were close before, but now...

N: Are you being diligent with your own breast health? 

C: Yes.  But thankfully, she didn’t have the hereditary type of breast cancer.

N:  How has your mom having had breast cancer changed you? 

C:  I grew up a lot faster.  Kids were worried about what to do on Friday night & the football games.  That wasn’t on my radar.  I guess one major thing is that it prepared me to handle the tough times that have come up since.  Those things don’t affect me as much, even the cancer diagnosis of another family member.  It hasn’t been as difficult because I’ve been there, we’ve been there.  And we know how to do this.  Life is much lighter.

N:  Closing thoughts for the kids.

C:   It’s not fun.  It will probably be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.  It’s something you’ll never get over. But look for the bright spots. Take time to be normal & build happy memories in spite of the situation.  So much good can come from something so devastating. I did the Susan G. Komen 3-day walk 5 years in a row. I met so many people who have similar stories that have become lifelong friends. It doesn’t have to be all bad! There is good!

Please join me on Thursday, October 22 at 6 pm EST as we present FFANY Shoes on Sale where you can shop designer shoes on Sale Prices. 80% of the purchase price benefits breast cancer reasearch and education.

Much love, 

Nancy