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As we approach the time of year when being thankful and giving of ourselves is top of mind, I thought it was a perfect time to share with you the benefits of going beyond an “every-once-in-a-while” acquaintance with gratitude, and to a daily fully committed discipline. You’ll be better for it and so will those you love.

Most of us have heard the term "an attitude of gratitude", a hot topic not only this month but in popular culture these days.  You can find countless books, magazines and articles on everything from the importance of gratitude and its companion, giving, to massive volumes about identifying your innate strengths and talents. All of these subjects fall neatly into the science of positive psychology, a surprisingly serious and deeply-researched global area of academic study which has gathered increased focus and momentum, particularly in the last twenty years. 

Until the 1940's, and probably even to this day, the subject of psychology is largely associated with the study of mental dysfunction and illness. Positive psychology, renamed by TIME magazine, in a cover story, as "The Science of Happiness", focuses on the disciplines that enhance human well-being, connection, engagement, flow and performance.

The science of positive psychology asks the question, “What are the primary routes to real and lasting happiness and well-being?”, and then provides tangible practices that can be incorporated into any life at any age. Researchers note that being grateful or the practice of giving, on a consistent daily basis, takes a tremendous amount of disciplined and sometimes Herculean effort, especially if one expects to reap the almost-too-good-to-be-true benefits, benefits which include improved relationships with others, the ability to thrive in the most challenging conditions, elevated personal happiness and enhanced competitive performance...just to name a few. 

Being grateful for friends and family creates a positive sense of well-being.

I built my gratitude muscles to the level of a body builder in my early forties, when I was first introduced to the applications of positive psychology in a corporate business setting as I was charged with leading strength-based initiatives. Before too long, I was applying what I had learned to my personal life and garnering surprisingly outstanding results in a "learn it by doing it" manner.  I wish that I had been able to impress these lessons on my own children at a younger age but the truth is I didn't have the knowledge that I do now to teach, when I was a student myself. 

When my kids were small, like so many parents, I impressed upon them the importance of being grateful. However, my guidance was circumstantial. For example, when you receive a gift or a kindness, express your thanks both in person and in writing. Writing thank you notes has always been a compulsory practice at our house, as important as brushing your teeth or doing your homework.  What I do know now, that I might not have appreciated when I was reinforcing this lesson with our children, is that writing a gratitude note is far better for the physical health and mental well-being of the writer than it is for the recipient. The thank you note is a good start but only just scratches the surface of what it means to be truly grateful. 

Practicing gratitude daily makes me a better wife and mother.

What if I told you that teaching your children, and your grandchildren, to be grateful daily would positively contribute to their mental and physical health, that they would be able to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs better than their peers by having these practices in place, that they would be better liked, have a higher immunity response, be more successful in school and sports than their peers and be able to think more creatively when problem solving? If they ever experience pain, research shows a person who practices gratitude on a daily basis will be better able to not only withstand it, but have a better chance of overcoming illness. Bottom line, those who practice being grateful will be notably resilient, able to navigate both life's joyous and heartbreaking events better than those who don't. It's something I want for those I love and I'm sure you do too. 

I've lived long enough to know that life is more about how you handle its challenges than how you celebrate its victories. Looking back, I realize that our challenges, many of which we may never have chosen for ourselves or for those we love, are the very things that strengthen and define us, allowing us to live to our full potential, while grasping our true personal power and purpose on this earth. 

There is a reason our wedding vows focus on the good and the bad elements that will routinely make their repeated appearances in our lives:  "for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health." We will, your child will, experience them all. It's what the human experience is all about. The best thing we can do as parents is model by example, while teaching our children, one of the best life skills that will produce the greatest payoff: being abundantly grateful, always, no matter what and even when it's hard, especially when it's hard. Children who can do this will turn into adults who can thrive in any circumstance that life holds in store and emerge stronger and better for it. 

The gratitude practices are deceptively simple which leads many would-be practitioners to the following predictable conclusion: I already know this and I already do it. Here's where I'll challenge you. There's a big difference between knowing something and doing it. I know the number of calories I need to ingest and the physical activity that needs to occur in order to lose weight but it doesn't always mean I do it. The same goes for gratitude. 

I'm going to make it simple. I can boil down the research to its most essential element and then provide a few examples, you'll have a greater potential to make it happen. The concept is not difficult; making it a daily top-of-mind practice is. 

Rule #1. Be consciously grateful at all times. When you wake up in the morning, before you do anything else, think of 3-5 things for which you are grateful. Be specific. It can be the sound of the birds singing outside, the fact that you are healthy or that the sun is shining. You can be grateful that you have all five senses, or that you have the ability to care for your family. 

Don't just feel grateful, identify why you are grateful and then tell yourself why this is so.  Continue this practice as you are brushing your teeth, watering the plants, feeding the dog, making lunches for your kids, getting everybody out the door, driving to work. You're teaching yourself to look for what's right in your life and that's exactly the point. 

When it makes sense, practice expressing your gratitude out loud to your child, your spouse, your co-worker, your neighbor. When you are commuting to work or grocery shopping, times when it's easy to go into auto-pilot mode, continue to consciously note the things that make you feel grateful in your environment, from magnificent to mundane. Keep it up all day, wherever you are, even in a public restroom. 

Individuals who practice gratitude are more resilient and more creative in team settings.

When you are sitting in a meeting, look at the person next to you or across from you, and remind yourself why you are grateful to have them in your life. Not feeling particularly grateful about this relationship? Then think about it this way:  What has this person taught you: good/bad or indifferent? How will this knowledge help you going forward? How will your shared experience shape you into the person you are meant to be? Keep doing this all day. 

Bottom line, look for what's right, wrong and somewhere in between and acknowledge the value each event or person brings you. This doesn't mean you don't acknowledge problems or issues. You simply look for the positive takeaway from the experience, the person, or the situation, information that will allow you to move forward in a more informed, conscious and positive manner. 

Rule #2:  Follow Rule #1 religiously. Every day. All of the time and particularly when you are in situations of extreme challenge or stress. Many people who have sought my counsel know that I have faced some major challenges in my life and they have watched me relentlessly practice these principles and come out the other side that much more compassionate, stronger, happier and wiser. That's the benefit of gratitude when it is practiced consistently, not just when it is convenient. 

Research does show that those practitioners who keep a journal and write down 3-5 (or more) things for which they are grateful and why this is so, experience the enhanced benefits shared throughout this blog. The gratitude journal is an excellent practice for anyone who would enjoy this activity. It's a great thing to introduce to a child who is just learning to write. Encourage them to draw pictures to accompany their words, allowing full expression and reward. 

Gratitude practices provide a sense of optimism and benefit relationships at work.

As I've said to the children, teens and adults that I have coached over the years, when it comes to the best gratitude practice for each individual, "one size fits one". I recommend that you consider what I've shared and find your own way to incorporate an attitude of gratitude into your day, every day. When you do, you'll notice you begin to feel differently: happier with maximized capacity and a sense of excitement. With your endorphins firing on a consistent basis, you'll feel, like Dr. Seuss declared, in his book, "Oh The Places You'll Go":

"And will you succeed?

 Yes you will indeed!

(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)”

gratitude is easily expressed in the quiet presence of nature.

Heidi Guest has been a cosmetic executive for over 25 years. Today, she is the On-Air Media Spokesperson for philosophy, a lifestyle brand that focuses on causes benefiting the mental health and well-being of women. Married to her college sweetheart for the past 29 years, Heidi is the proud mother of Caitlin, 23, and Nicholas, 17. A San Francisco native, who has lived with her family in the New York metropolitan area for many years, Heidi and her family currently live in Paradise Valley, Arizona. Active in local and national philanthropic efforts that support women, children and families, Heidi's greatest passion is helping others live into their full potential both personally and professionally.