Beauty

[K9buddy]

On 4/2/2015 Crisso said:

On 4/2/2015 Divine said:

On 4/2/2015 suzyQ3 said:

The opening post did not sound caring to me. It smacked of insults and judgment. The most I would advise is that she politely and mildly ask her MIL if she would like any help in getting ready for the wedding (dress, shoes, makeup). If her MIL does not indicate that she wants that help, end of story. Enjoy the wedding no matter what this nonagenarian looks like.

Suzy, ITA!!!

I also agree. The MIL has made it clear for 35 years that she is what she is. I posted not long ago that at my mom's funeral there were lots of snide comments about how "she did not take good care of herself - never wore makeup" etc etc. I would give anything to have her back and attend my niece's wedding next year AS SHE WAS. I know my niece feels the same as they were very close. This post made me sad....

Wouldn't it have been nice not to have had to hear those things? Why didn't you pay attention to her appearance? It's sad that people were talking behind her back because no one cared to see that she took good care of herself.

[K9buddy]

On 4/2/2015 Okiko said: Agree with "expatgirl".... She's 90 years old for heavens sake! Love her as she is, as you will miss an opportunity once she's gone. Looks or love... you choose.

Sorry, but I guess I missed the part where the OP said she didn't love her MIL. Guess I'll have to re read the post.

[Q4u]

You know I lost both my Mother, MIL, Dad and FIL at WAY too young an age .... what I'd give to have ANY OF THEM come to my kid's wedding looking and wearing whatever they want!! Even showing up in clown uniforms and we'd take pictures and be SO proud and happy they were even there... !! JMHO

The OP made me sad too......

[Crisso]

On 4/2/2015 Q4U said:

You know I lost both my Mother, MIL, Dad and FIL at WAY too young an age .... what I'd give to have ANY OF THEM come to my kid's wedding looking and wearing whatever they want!! Even showing up in clown uniforms and we'd take pictures and be SO proud and happy they were even there... !! JMHO

The OP made me sad too......

I hear you....

[K9buddy]

On 4/2/2015 Q4U said:

You know I lost both my Mother, MIL, Dad and FIL at WAY too young an age .... what I'd give to have ANY OF THEM come to my kid's wedding looking and wearing whatever they want!! Even showing up in clown uniforms and we'd take pictures and be SO proud and happy they were even there... !! JMHO

The OP made me sad too......

Goodie for you. Not everyone feels the way you do, This topic has absolutely nothing to do with wishing dead people were still here dressed as clowns.

[Crisso]

On 4/2/2015 betteb said:

On 4/2/2015 baker said:

I don't understand why some people are ticked off at the OP for wanting her 90 year old MIL to look presentable at her daughters wedding. I can't believe there is someone keeping tabs on the OP on another forum.Yes, it's an accomplishment to live to be 90, but don't forget how stubborn and set in their ways people of a certain age can be. Evidently the MIL is willing to comply with her DIL and wants to make a nice appearance and impression at her grand daughters wedding. I would suggest a gentle and easy skin care program, something that she could continue herself. I think a lighter hair color would no doubt flatter her, no matter what her skin tone. Finally a tinted moisturizer and tinted lip balm. Good luck OP .

Me either Lots of a*s-u-ming going on. I swear posters on this board are like a bunch of old fishermen. A thread starts out as a minnow and by the time they are done stretching and embellishing the story with their assumptions, it's a 50lb bass.

Hi betteb! I think this hit a nerve for many people for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I hope that I do not live to 90 and be dependent on others. I grew up with a grandmother living with us as my granddad died rather young and it was a generation that was entirely dependent on the husband for living. I admit that I was not happy with how my parents were with her. I can see now that it was not easy for them to have a parent living with them. But with the eyes of a child I could also see that she was the product of her generation (and was from "the old country") and she did the best with what she knew and had. I didn't care how she looked, ate, talked etc because she loved us.

I also think it was a problem for my parents because they still saw her as the "younger" person they remembered and as the parent. It was not easy for them to accept that she was now more dependent and in many ways this frustrated her as much as them....

[Big Sister]

I wish you luck, first of all. The black hair with a pale skin tone will emphasize the pale color. I hope she will agree to lighten her hair.

I think whatever you decide to buy in a makeup line, she will probably not use it consistently. It will be too much trouble.

[K9buddy]

On 4/2/2015 suzyQ3 said:

On 4/2/2015 K9buddy said:

On 4/2/2015 Crisso said:

On 4/2/2015 Divine said:

On 4/2/2015 suzyQ3 said:

The opening post did not sound caring to me. It smacked of insults and judgment. The most I would advise is that she politely and mildly ask her MIL if she would like any help in getting ready for the wedding (dress, shoes, makeup). If her MIL does not indicate that she wants that help, end of story. Enjoy the wedding no matter what this nonagenarian looks like.

Suzy, ITA!!!

I also agree. The MIL has made it clear for 35 years that she is what she is. I posted not long ago that at my mom's funeral there were lots of snide comments about how "she did not take good care of herself - never wore makeup" etc etc. I would give anything to have her back and attend my niece's wedding next year AS SHE WAS. I know my niece feels the same as they were very close. This post made me sad....

Wouldn't it have been nice not to have had to hear those things? Why didn't you pay attention to her appearance? It's sad that people were talking behind her back because no one cared to see that she took good care of herself.

You seriously should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that Crisso pays no attention to such a callous post.

All the accusations that you and others threw at the OP were disrespectful, uncalled for and judgemental. For that you should be ashamed. You can dish it out but you can't take it. Show respect to others and you shall receive respect.

[MarLoCat]

Did not have time & hardly ever have the time to read the others posts...so if I match anyone that replied sorry...

Gemspirit...

IMO...Nothing wrong with your MIL hair color if she had black hair all her life that is natural for her at least she colors her hair at 90...wrinkles are wrinkles no matter what hair color you have & at age 90 she's entitled to have them. Take her to get a nice dress for your Daughter's wedding...You could take her to have a facial & a basic skin-care Cleanser-Toner-Tinted Moisturizer-Lipstick-light Blush.

Best Wishes on your Daughter's Wedding Day!

[Karnerblue]

Crisso, I'm so sorry you had to endure that nasty remark. How awful. You're one of the nicer posters here and that was totally uncalled for.