@geezerette wrote:
@just bee wrote:
@geezerette wrote:
Well, the good news is that so far this month I haven't spent much on unnecessary items. The bad news is that's because I've been miserably in pain. Without being boring with details, one night a few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, put my foot on the floor and collapsed in pain. After a few weeks of excruciating pain every night, I caved and went to a chiropractor. Joints out of whack, pinched nerves and lots of swelling in the lower back/pelvis/hip areas. After several treatments I'm not pain-free yet, but at least it's down to a bearable level. Apparently I'm going to be spending most of the next few months at this guy's office, and leaving a fair amount of my life savings there too. So that's going to be incentive for me to watch my spending in other areas.
I have bought a few items the last few days from the Christmas in July programs. The old geezer and I no longer exchange gifts, but I do like to give to a few close friends and the professionals I use during the year--mostly food items. I also ended up getting a few more tops to wear to doctor visits. I've found that my cotton tunics and leggings I wear for exercising work the best for his clicking and cracking my body. But I normally don't wear that kind of outfit in public so my around-the-house tops are rather shabby.
One thing that has come about from this episode is that some of the superficial stuff I'm normally concerned about went right out of my head. Like makeup, for instance. I don't wear much anymore anyway, but I had always felt I needed to wear at least a little when I went out in public. Now, that doesn't matter to me anymore. Not only did I not feel well enough to care about that, but I found during the second visit to the chiropractor that wearing foundation was futile--it all ended up on the tissue paper my face was jammed into anyway.
So that's where the bulk of my money will be going for the next several months. That's yet another good reason not to spend indiscriminately--you never know when you might need that extra money for something really important.
True that. I suspect that when you get to a certain age, you're always waiting for a shoe or two to drop. It's a steady state of paranoia. What's going to break? What's going to fail? What's going to go wrong?
I'm definitely living in that world. I sure would like to order that pair of shoes I don't need, but wouldn't it be better to just squirrel that money away just in case? JUST IN CASE. Suddenly your whole life is just in case.
I was wondering why you'd been keeping such a low profile lately. Thought maybe you were supervising the dog and cat situation full time. But you, as usual, are the keeper of wisdom. As you say, when the unexpected does happen, our priorities shift. And the shift always makes sense -- so why didn't we get that before?
Actually, the dog/cat situation appears to have been solved. (Fingers crossed) Her energy has changed and the cat no longer seems to be threatened by her. He wanders around the house whenever he pleases, although he still does enjoy it better when she's gone. Outside is a different matter, one that still needs work.
I had been looking in here once in a while but just didn't feel up to responding. As you say, my priorities had shifted overnight. I had thought I wouldn't have to deal with anything like this for another ten years or so, but surprise. It's definitely a wake-up call. Now I have no choice but to get serious about taking care of myself. This stuff doesn't happen to me, I don't do anything or take any chances to have bad stuff happen. But bad stuff can find you, no matter where you're hiding. I don't mean to make this out like its terminal or anything, but it's been bad enough long enough to be
that "tap on the shoulder" that everyone gets from time to time. So many things have been swirling through my mind: mistakes I've made in the past, how to live in what's left of my future, what really is important to me?
But I'm pretty sure that once I'm not hurting so badly, I'll be worried about getting my foundation on again. Then one day you just run out of time to worry about anything.
Boy, that sure was cheery for a Beauty thread, eh? Maybe I'd better be quiet until I feel up to snuff again!
(I'll give you an update on the dog later.)
But it's true. Our lives are filled with responsibilities and have-tos, and we don't have the luxury of sitting quietly, pondering our existence until we're flat on our backs, staring at the ceiling, betrayed suddenly by our own bodies.
I have been force-fed educational and psychological theories for decades and I have to say that I cannot totally dismiss Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages. Probably because Better-half and I are 12 years apart. He's Gen X, I'm a Boomer. I grew up in a 100 year-old tenement in Chicago, he was raised on the Berkeley campus while his mother pursued an advanced degree. He thinks I'm stuck in the past (I do love history) and he doesn't understand why the people he knows in my "age group" want to think about their past. It's over! Move on! Nobody cares about the people you knew or what bakery you frequented when you were ten. It's gone, so what? Sentimentality? Blah!
His time will come. And sooner than he thinks. Why? Because Erikson says so. He will be interesting to study because he should be smack dab in Stage 7: Generativity versus Stagnation. Most people at this point have crafted a life with an established career, marriage and family. They are involved in organizations and in their communities. They have causes. They belong to a church or a political group. They identify with something. Better-half cannot be described this way. He will die before he is labeled. (I labeled him a Libertarian years ago and he still resists that because it's a label.) He is, however, evolving. He recently said that he is no longer an atheist. He is more of an agnostic now.
I am, chronologically, also at Stage 7 but feel like I'm at Stage 8. The final stage of life (cue the funeral dirge). Proof of this is that I know the word "dirge." I'll have to run that one by Better-half later and see if he looks confused. I'm at that stage where most of what I say in public is met by blank stares. I had two patients this week who sounded eerily like Nancy Spungen and when I mentioned it, no one knew what I was talking about.
Stage 8 is Ego Integrity versus Despair. This is that period of contemplation and evaluation: Did we live a productive, purposeful life? Did we accomplish something?
Generally at this point it's too late to do anything about it but we finally have the time to obsess about it.
I've always had one foot in antiquity -- even when I was a kid. My parents and siblings were all older and I had no cohorts in my age group until I started school. It's no wonder kindergarten was torture. Who are these creatures who sit on the floor with their fingers in their noses? Don't they know that there are chairs? No sense of decorum whatsoever. When can I leave?
But I do hope you're feeling better and that you hang on to the insight this episode has bestowed on you. Remember that it is simply AFGO. Another _______ growth opportunity.
~My philosophy: Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels, here on Earth, who teach us to be better human beings.~
Blogs & Forums
