Beauty

[DL2843]

Hi Everyone. Dosey is there a possibility that your husband can speak to his mother about the items being sent to you? It is interesting that your mother-in-law is sending them to you because her son would return the box to her. So she knows that the items are not truly wanted, but is relying on your sense of responsibility to her. Maybe both sons can do a conference call together and talk to her at the same time. I am sorry for your predicament.

[Oshare-girl]

I had LASIK done at the end of August and it's SO nice to be able to see so clearly.  I haven't had vision this good since I was 10!  I couldn't wear eye makeup for the last month because of the procedure and it's been interesting.  I got a lot of "you look different without glasses".  And the people close to me (ie family and close friends) told me that I look fine without the eye makeup.  It's made me realize that, in fact, I can cut back on the makeup.  Next week I can go back to wearing eye makeup and I'm looking forward to it.  But I will be wearing less.  It actually has been super fast getting ready in the mornings too.

We've had a lot of rain due to the hurricane season.  Fortunately none of the hurricanes actually reached us but they have been bringing a ton of hot, humid weather.  And lots of rain.  Wish we could share some of that rain with California!  Our roof is leaking, our kitchen sink is leaking, our downstairs closet is leaking and we had to fix our ac.  The PV system hasn't been much help since it's cloudy, but so hot that we need to run the ac.  So the electric bill has been really high too.  So many expenses.  But we have cut back on eating out and I have been cooking more and that has made a slight difference in the expenses.  I'm glad that I have already been in the ComPacting mindset so that it hasn't been a huge shock to have to cut back in areas.

I need to do more decluttering.  I know I have clothes that I haven't worn all year.  No sense keeping them.  There's also a lot of paper I should shred.  I could get rid of a handbag or two...I haven't used them all year either.  I also should go through my jewelry.  I have a lot of costume stuff I haven't touched.  I've been wearing the same gold hoops and 3 necklaces all year.  

I have been steadily using up makeup & skincare.  I haven't bought eyeshadow all year and as a result have hit pan on 5 shadows!  I still have too many palettes, but I have a use it up plan and the main thing is that I haven't ADDED to the stash of palettes. It feels great to use up what I have.  I also was able to break out my "fancy" Jo Malone perfume that I was saving for "fancy times", but I used up so much fragrance that I actually need to use my "fancy" stuff now.  Keeping an inventory has really helped to keep me on track these last couple of years.  I have pages of lists of products I have used up since 2013.  I also have a wish list.  The interesting thing is that I have crossed off many products that I had on my wish list over time.  I've come to realize that I just don't want it anymore.  I even have whittled down my holy grail products.  They just aren't necessary anymore.  It doesn't bring me joy to use them.  I finally broke the "it's a great value" mentality.  No matter how cheap the product was, if I don't use it, wasteful is never a good value.

[dosey]

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@DL2843 wrote:

Hi Everyone. Dosey is there a possibility that your husband can speak to his mother about the items being sent to you? It is interesting that your mother-in-law is sending them to you because her son would return the box to her. So she knows that the items are not truly wanted, but is relying on your sense of responsibility to her. Maybe both sons can do a conference call together and talk to her at the same time. I am sorry for your predicament.

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Hi DL!  No, my husband should not speak to his mom about this.  He is not tactful and would hurt her feelings for sure.  In fact, I have told him specifically not to say a word to her.

I have decided to handle this by accepting the gifts graciously.  They are gifts, and I could tell when my MIL visited us that her collectibles are causing her distress.  I am not going to add to it.  Also, I apologize if I offended anyone by calling these things hideous.  Just because they are not my taste does not mean they are hideous.  I used to work with a woman who loved this type of art.  If she were still alive, she would want them.  I am sure when the time comes I will be able to find someone who will enjoy these pieces.

[dosey]

Hi, Oshare-girl!  I'm sorry about the extra expenses you've incurred.  I know how you feel.  People say things come in threes, well I've had several groups of three!  Plus, we now have a small car payment and an additional $2,000 per year on our car insurance.  Yikes!  My no-buy came at a good time for us.

It doesn't help that I have been watching the fashion shows on the shopping channels.  The fall fashions look nice this year.  I want so many things but have put fashion purchases on hold until things settle down and we haven't had a repair for awhile.  Also, the kids will need a few things for winter but not a lot.  Fortunately, they have clothes that still fit them.  That's the bonus for when kids get older.  Their clothes do not have to be replaced yearly!

[Oshare-girl]

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@dosey wrote:

One last thing.  My MIL is going to send me a 3' statue, too.  Yippee!!!

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Whoa, Dosey!  A 3' tall statue too?!  You are a saint and have been very gracious to your MIL.  I hope you & your family can find a win-win solution to the collectibles situation.

[just bee]

Happy New Year!

Since I was raised in a Jewish neighborhood (by a lapsed Catholic Italian mother) I am always aware of the Jewish holidays and I tend to agree that this is a better time for a new year than January.  It's probably that old "back-to-school," new beginning feeling that makes me think this way.  So I was up at four and got the urge to purge.

Tossed some older teas and put some that I don't care for in a bag to donate to work.  Then I pulled out the candy drawer.  I've had chocolate bars in there for five years (at least).  These were high quality, pricey bars, too.  I never ate them.  I'm just not a chocolate freak.  I mean, I'll eat the stuff, but I don't spend hours a day thinking about it.  I finally tossed them.  And it was A LOT of chocolate.  I even tossed my Italian honey candies.  I bought them, but never ate them.  Tossed a bunch of old fortune cookies (read the fortunes first), then hit the kitchen cupboards.  Expired clam juice?  Gone.  Old canned fruit?  Gone.  Salsa?  Brisket sauce?  BBQ sauce?  Nuts?  Gone, Daddy, gone.

So... if you're looking for a little extra motivation, think of this as the start of a brand new year (Hebrew year 5776, if I'm not mistaken).  Do you really want to start your new year with those holey socks and that old jar of face cream?  Bid them a fond adieu!

[just bee]

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@dosey wrote:

          

I found pictures of the two 10" figurines on eBay.  Maybe I can post them from that site.

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There was a time that I would have treasured these.  I had this lamp... oh, never mind.  I say, keep them stored as long as your MIL is well and means well.  But what I would do is... do you have a favorite sushi place?  I would hit every Japanese restaurant in town and offer them a gift.  You might not ever be able to eat at these places again, but...

[just bee]

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@Oshare-girl wrote:

I had LASIK done at the end of August and it's SO nice to be able to see so clearly.  I haven't had vision this good since I was 10!

Oh, my goodness -- how exciting!  For me, I think that ship has sailed, but I still fantasize about waking up and being able to see.  Of course, at my age, it's probably better to stick with spectacles that can hide dark circles, a full set of Samsonite, and tired eyes.  This is definitely a new year for you!

[just bee]

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@FindingMyJoy wrote:

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@kitty45 wrote:

You're welcome.  I'm taking that route also.  I really don't need that much to live on.  I discovered three saucepans & three frying pans & seven lunch bags.  I didn't even realize I had these.  So I gave them away.  I finally gave away all but 3 cookbooks. I think I had 50 of these. 

I'm still getting rid of clothes, it is surprising how much I have.  I'm hoping by November I'll keep only the ones I use.

What really shook me was that a few months back I ending up at the hospital.  High blood pressure, heartburn & anxiety attack.  (I'm on meds & doing better).  But the sad thing was that I was more worried about if I didn't leave the hospital, how are my siblings going to get rid of all  my stuff.  I should've been worried about my health!  It was then I realized that even though I've made some progress since joining the Compact, I needed to do more.  

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I'm glad that you are feeling better. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I have caught myself thinking sometimes what would happen if someone else had to go thru all of my stuff. It's something we shouldn't have to worry about. For me, I realized that worry means I feel shame for my stash of things. It's a motivator to continue to work on getting rid of the excess unwanted items.

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What's so odd about hanging onto all these peculiar items is that the day will come when we will exit stage right and we will leave all these things behind.  They aren't coming with us.  We will lose everything we're holding onto.  None of it will matter to anyone else.  It will end up at thrift stores and in dumpsters.  My stepfather's mother died in 1969 and he couldn't part with her collections.  My sister moved into that house after my stepfather died in 1981 and she couldn't part with the collectibles.  She died in 2003 and then my brother-in-law (my other sister's husband), who had very little time and couldn't figure out how valuable some of the items were, tossed everything.  It's all gone.  She was sharp and knew what to collect, but it -- no matter its value -- became worthless in landfill.

[dosey]

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@Oshare-girl wrote:

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@dosey wrote:

One last thing.  My MIL is going to send me a 3' statue, too.  Yippee!!!

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Whoa, Dosey!  A 3' tall statue too?!  You are a saint and have been very gracious to your MIL.  I hope you & your family can find a win-win solution to the collectibles situation.

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My in-laws are former military people and lived around the world.  Sadly, they did not bring back anything from any of the countries they lived in except Japan.  From Japan, my MIL has a jade vase, a Mikimoto pearl necklace, and a stool.  I'll try to describe the stool.  It is less than 1' high and about 2 1/2 - 3' in diameter.  It is solid dark wood (very thick and heavy) with four legs that are balls of wood.  In the center of the stool is a hand-painted Japanese nature scene.  It is really beautiful.  My MIL wants to give my husband the stool so we can use it to display the statue.  That is very nice of her.  I suspect her other DIL will receive the pearls.  Double Darn!  I would love to receive the pearls but would never ask for it. That's just plain tacky.  I believe she purchased all of her collectibles (figurines, plates, etc.) from ads in magazines.  I have decided that I am not going to let this stress me out.  It will all work itself out.