03-18-2017 05:32 PM
I left the position I had in Belk Fine Jewelry because of a woman they added who constantly ran, actually ran past me to every customer! She was also mad that I wouldn't give her part of my sales! One day she zoomed past me and if I hadn't stepped forward to steady myself I would have fallen face first into a glass case with a metal edge.
When the floor manager threatened ME I told him HE could sell the jewelry!
03-18-2017 06:12 PM
I've had 2 female managers take credit for my ideas or work product.
The first one was my very first FT job at 18. The first 5 months there I work for a great guy and then he was promoted and I was assigned to Cruella DeVille (and she smoked Virginia Slims 100s and would send me out every day at 3 to buy her a pack of cigarettes and I could keep the change).
I came up with a great sales tag line for our business and she took it to the company president as her own idea. She came back to me and told me he loved it but she took credit for it and she hoped I understood.
In 2006, I was assigned to a team of 3. We had to submit a status report of what we were working on every 2 weeks. My manager would submit it to her manager as a team report and cc me and the other person. Except that all of the items listed on the report were mine. The other 2 literally had no jobs to do.
One time 2 of us were assigned a task. I completed mine 75% and the other person hadn't started yet due to some lame excuse. Our manager told her it was okay and she understood. When it came to me and I explained that I was waiting on other people for the other 25% of the task I was yelled at for not completing it and that I needed to do better.
It was surreal.
03-18-2017 06:50 PM
I was a manager of both males and females. I never had a problem with a male complaining about another male or a female. Never were they in tears in my office, etc. I think females bring some of the problems on themselves. I admit I did have the advantage of hiring the people I supervised so I looked for certain personality types.
03-18-2017 08:57 PM
I get your frustration and I'm sorry for your stress and hurt. Boil the problem down -- it's not just work and not just women. It's personal choices about how to act and respond. Good v Evil. IMO it's just that simple. Know who you are and believe in yourself. Know who they are and avoid being like them.
03-18-2017 09:11 PM
JeanLake: Well said. Also, just be glad that we aren't like them. This always makes me feel better, and 'above it all'. In some ways, much higher on the evolution ladder, so to speak.
03-18-2017 09:20 PM
Junior high school/Middle school petty, childish behavior. They haven't yet evolved into the grown-up realm. It happens. Just keep your position on the top half of the ladder. Continue to be 'above it all', keep smiling, carry on, and ignore, ignore, ignore. Ignoring these types of people always irritates them, and they end up ruining their own weekends.
03-19-2017 03:28 AM
Plaid Pants2 wrote:
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, they will still find a way to get under your skin.
You try to be nice, and they see it as a weakness.
You try to stand up for yourself, and they see it as a challenge.
You try to ignore, and they up the harassment, until you do break, because everybody has a breaking point, before you snap, and then they gloat that they got you to react.
You can try to ignore to the best of your abilities, but that does NOT give them a free pass to continually harass someone, and they will continue to harass until the person breaks.
I disagree with this - when you stand up to a bully - they back off.
Not all back off. Some bullies seem to thrive on a challenge and do even more. Depends on the person. Some get their friends involved & try to involve yours.
03-19-2017 12:58 PM
Some want to drag you (or another nice person) down to their childish level. Some want to 'incite' a confrontation, to make you look not so nice. In their minds, they have won. (Dragging you down to their level). I still say: Ignore. Seriously, it keeps them on the bottom and you remain 'on top'. In other words, they have not won; they lose; and you have won, in the long run. (Reminds me of a dog training episode: The dog who positions itself on top is the pack leader.)
03-19-2017 01:43 PM
I don't think it's particular to a workplace. Some women are just vicious to other women, anywhere and everywhere they can be.
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