Among Friends

[house_cat]

For me, it's my shyness and cautiousness.  I'm really good at faking it when I have to, but I'm very shy and prefer to be alone. I was a fearful child, surrounded by fearless people.  I don't enjoy most of the things my friends enjoy. I'm sure they wonder about me sometimes.  I know my family always has.

What is it about you that people don't "get"?

[ANewHue]

I've suffered with diplitating illnesses from a young age.  I am not a witch, mean or crazy.  My pain is real. I am not a hypochondriac.  I've lost all those that at one time I was close to and that's okay because I feel they were never true friends.  I just wish people gave me credit for being the person I am.  I am stronger than any of them could ever imagine and I'm proud of that.  

[Justholdingon]

---

@house_cat wrote:

For me, it's my shyness and cautiousness.  I'm really good at faking it when I have to, but I'm very shy and prefer to be alone. I was a fearful child, surrounded by fearless people.  I don't enjoy most of the things my friends enjoy. I'm sure they wonder about me sometimes.  I know my family always has.

What is it about you that people don't "get"?

---

yes,me too. I'm really cautious and shy about getting to know new people and others always perceive me as standoffish and snotty. It really looks more so next to my husband who is a total opposite of me and is so outgoing.  He doesn't really help by just letting me sit or stand by myself either, so it makes me feel doubley bad.  😟

[DoneTryin]

I come across as aloof & standoffish.  I'm not; I just don't open myself up to others right away.  They have to earn my trust.  I also have a sarcastic sense of humor that others don't always get.

[NycVixen]

I say this from a very humble place. I am blessed to take after my mother who is an absolutely stunning woman. All my life, people just notice my appearance and place too much emphasis on it. I'm not perfect and have struggled with acne issues throughout my life but I've learned to manage it. No one believes me when I say that I have to work for my clear skin. I don't take it for granted and never will. 

But what people don't really get about me is that I'm actually an intelligent person. It's hard for anyone to believe I have a scholarship from a well known university. They are just shocked. 

All they see and focus on are my looks and as a result I'm not taken seriously. Even members of my family and people I know treat me like this. No one outside of school asks me how my studies are going. They just focus on how my hair is and what I'm wearing. It's really discouraging to be honest. 

[Q4u]

That I'm always asking questions to the point that I have to back it down sometimes.  I want to know why and how...I want proof.  It's always been there and now with Google available, I can usually find my own answers.  But I'm still annoying that way (DH likes it, can't answer them all, but is proud of me the way I am and I thank God I met him).

The other thing has been my life-long love of Karate (I was a 2nd Degree Black Belt and taught Tang Soo Do), went to competitions, etc.  My friends didn't get it at all and thought the Art was offensive (instead of defensive... it isn't offensive), didn't understand how good it felt to be in "control"  physically and they had literally no interest in it whatsoever. 

{{{{To everyone who's the person they are}}} 

[MacDUFF]

Hi Karen!

Two things (of many lol)...

That I'm not just another pretty face, and that the tears of a clown run deep.

[DoneTryin]

---

@NycVixen wrote:

I say this from a very humble place. I am blessed to take after my mother who is an absolutely stunning woman. All my life, people just notice my appearance and place too much emphasis on it. I'm not perfect and have struggled with acne issues throughout my life but I've learned to manage it. No one believes me when I say that I have to work for my clear skin. I don't take it for granted and never will. 

But what people don't really get about me is that I'm actually an intelligent person. It's hard for anyone to believe I have a scholarship from a well known university. They are just shocked. 

All they see and focus on are my looks and as a result I'm not taken seriously. Even members of my family and people I know treat me like this. No one outside of school asks me how my studies are going. They just focus on how my hair is and what I'm wearing. It's really discouraging to be honest. 

---

Thank you for your insight.  I am loathe to admit it, but it took the movie Legally Blonde for me to see that a woman can be both beautiful & smart.  I suppose it seems silly to have learned such a lesson from a comedic film, but I think there are a lot of us out here who did.  I've just always been jealous of how easily some things seem to come to beautiful people, such as good job opportunities, the best life partners, etc.  

[NycVixen]

---

@VCamp2748 wrote:

---

@NycVixen wrote:

I say this from a very humble place. I am blessed to take after my mother who is an absolutely stunning woman. All my life, people just notice my appearance and place too much emphasis on it. I'm not perfect and have struggled with acne issues throughout my life but I've learned to manage it. No one believes me when I say that I have to work for my clear skin. I don't take it for granted and never will. 

But what people don't really get about me is that I'm actually an intelligent person. It's hard for anyone to believe I have a scholarship from a well known university. They are just shocked. 

All they see and focus on are my looks and as a result I'm not taken seriously. Even members of my family and people I know treat me like this. No one outside of school asks me how my studies are going. They just focus on how my hair is and what I'm wearing. It's really discouraging to be honest. 

---

Thank you for your insight.  I am loathe to admit it, but it took the movie Legally Blonde for me to see that a woman can be both beautiful & smart.  I suppose it seems silly to have learned such a lesson from a comedic film, but I think there are a lot of us out here who did.  I've just always been jealous of how easily some things seem to come to beautiful people, such as good job opportunities, the best life partners, etc.  

---

@DoneTryin  Thanks so much for your comment and for understanding. Looks are actually a double edged sword. The one analogy I can make that might make it easier to understand is perhaps how hard it must be to be rich and truly know if someone really loves you for you. 

Good looks attract a lot of people but both bad and good. To be honest, I haven't always had luck in my relationships. Before I met my husband in college, the partners I attracted did not see me as a real person but only as a sexual object.

Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way. I had a partner of four years pretty much tell me I was on my own when I got laid off even though we were thinking of marriage. When everything was great he was there but once I faced hardships he was gone. The hard truth is that he never really loved me at all.  It was very painful and it made me lose my faith in people for a long time. After so long, I never really knew him and he never took the time to get to know me. He was one of the people who was shocked I got a scholarship. He never saw me in that light because he was unwilling to do so. 

I admit it's true that looks do help you as far as job opportunities go but in the end you have to pull your weight. No employer is going to keep you around to look at your pretty face unless you also do your job and do it well. IMO there has to be substance to a person regardless of what they look like, which for me includes kindness, humility and good sense of what is right and wrong. 

[MyGirlsMom]

---

@VCamp2748 wrote:

I come across as aloof & standoffish.  I'm not; I just don't open myself up to others right away.  They have to earn my trust.  I also have a sarcastic sense of humor that others don't always get.

---

@DoneTryin

You just desribed me!!!!